Chapter Text
Over and over his name was being called, each time morphing more and more to his mother's voice. Chanting, "Mephiles!".
It mirrored his mother's yells, her constant groaning and complaining. The way she lingers on every letter in his name to catch and keep his attention. His eyes opened slowly, still weighed down by sleep, the feeling of being unable to get out of bed from his cold room.
I'm going to the psych ward today. That was expired food for thought, enough for him to start kicking around in this blanket and desperately trying to strangle himself so he wouldn't have to go.
It didn't work, of course. He has his final midterm today. Midterms was like a Dooms-Day countdown for him, the timer hitting 00:00 being when he finished his test.
Hearing his mother yelling for him is weird, she's not even home right now. She's off with her modeling agency and his dad is at the hospital. He spends every morning alone, every afternoon alone, and evening in the presence of people who hate him. A face created by a self absorbed manipulator and a poor excuse of a man.
He doesn't make his bed, he sleeps in the same pajamas for months on end, brushes his teeth when he's going somewhere, showers when he can force himself to- looking at himself in the mirror makes him uneasy. It feels like he's living in someone else's body, drained eyes, fried hair, loom bands,,, none of it screamed 'MEPHILES' like he'd like. Unfortunately, things like drinking until he was blackout drunk, doing more drugs that a seventeen year old should, and attempting to kill himself did.
For Mephiles is simply just an idea, one he is acting on. So it wasn't a shock to him when he woke up this morning with a pounding headache, swallowing four or five ibuprofen, he didn't remember actually. That pounding headache was an omen sent telling him his time has come.
Why keep living if he isn't anything at all? If he's just huffing and puffing, he'll eventually need to exhale it all. He's no god. He's not invincible. Maybe he is, maybe wasting himself was an attempt every time and his intentions were always death. Silver sees it that way. He's survived each time, maybe he should try something different. Test the lines between God and mortal to find out who he is now.
Hey Silver ?
It's so early, what is it?
never mind
??
Mephiles?
You doing ok?
Mephiles?
*
Oh my God, oh my God. Mephiles ? SHIT. I gotta go, I'mg on na puke, ungh. He scares the shit out of me, like, what if his heart has already stopped? My stomach hurts, I gotta help him.
Silver didn't even pick the crust out of his eyes before running out of his house in his pajamas. A pair of oversized boxers, yellow socks, and a while shirt. It had just finished raining twenty minutes ago so as he ran, his socks squelched each time they hit the pavement. It was disgusting but even with the urge to hunch over and start hurling, he had to make sure Mephiles was okay. Alive.
"MEPHILES?" He was given a key to his place so he could come and keep Mephiles company whenever he wanted or needed. Their house is huge, a fucking mansion, but Silver didn't stop running to the aid of his friend. He slipped up the stairs, smashing his chin on the next step but he shook it off with a sharp intake of breath and kept climbing.
His door is the closest one to the stairwell. Closest to the stairwell. "MEPHILES?" Upon entry, he hadn't seen him.
He wasn't sprawled out on the floor seizing, hunched over bleeding out of his wrists or arms. He wasn't even hanging from his fucking ceiling. There weren't brains splattered on his wall, nor a fire burning Mephiles alive. Where is he?
shuffle
A noise came from his closet, Silver immediately running over to see what it was. It was Mephiles?
"Hi Silver," he waved holding a shirt to his bare chest. "I'm fine, don't worry about me."
Silver's jaw was on the floor. He'd just walked over to see his friend calm as day, arms still red and wet, his blood hadn't even dried yet. He's going to school with fucking beans?
"Are you fucking crazy!? I come running out of my house at six thirty in the morning preparing myself to find your dead body in your room and you're just here getting ready for school? Have you lost your mind!?" He was running out of breath. "Look at your wrists too, bet you just wiped yourself off with a towel."
Mephiles kept his arms up, shirt frozen in air. "Well yeah, I don't own sanitary wipes."
"You scare me so bad, you mother fucker!" He's getting everything he wanted, everything but the immortality he was promised. "Put your shirt down and come with me to your bathroom."
He's going to wash off his arms, make sure they aren't at risk of infection at the moment. Wipe them down, clean them with soap and water ...
"I tried to kill myself." Silver's serious expression faltered, how was he supposed to remain calm?
Mephiles held out his arms on his own but Silver still griped them like he'd run away any moment now. "I know, I know."
"God you really have nothing huh?" Silver rummaged through the bins below his bathroom sink. "Do any of your maids have bandages?"
He was currently pressing a towel into Mephiles' skin so bleeding wouldn't resume. Now though, he'd have to leave Mephiles to his own device to get bandaged for him.
"Yeah." He could hear Silver's heart. A mix of confusion to why he did this, hopelessness for himself, and worry. Negative emotions as face value.
When he came back with the bandages, no words were exchanged. What does a person say after helping someone perform aftercare on their wounds?
"You're gonna go to school, ace your midterm and go straight to the ward," Mephiles was escorting Silver out of the door. "Make sure you advocate for yourself, get the help you need. You can't be this apathetic forever man, it's not good for you."
He just shrugged. "It's fine. Go home, you're gonna be late." Right, he still hadn't even brushed his teeth.
"I'll see you when you get out Mephiles."
[A/N] - Mephiles isn't part God, he doesn't have powers, he has nothing. He was given the short straw upon summon to this world. His brain, so used to their previous world, convinces him otherwise - causing the risky and self harming behavior the acts upon in his day to day.
Him and Silver's abuser/victim relationship is possible because Silver wants to help him. Mephiles doesn't feel empathy and he feeds off negative emotions, so he hurts and manipulates Silver, forcing him to stay in his life to give him that. He acts sad to make Silver sad and in turn gains ... nothing.
Silver won't leave Mephiles and he'll do whatever he says because he doesn't want Mephiles to do anything drastic, considering the pattern of behavior he's already become familiar with (which is a mix of Mephiles' mental illness(es) and straight up sociopathy.
No, Silver doesn't trust Mephiles with his life, not even an egg but he's not going to let that get in the way of trying to help him recover, unfortunately.
*
Today is Saturday, Silver doesn't have midterms anymore and is now completely free to spend time with Blaze. They haven't been able to hang out recently with their schedules. When Blaze is busy Silver isn't and when Silver's busy, Blaze isn't.
She's normally out figure skating, hanging out with her sister and family, or doing work for her multiple clubs. Silver, he draws, attempts to bake following Amy's recipes, and does things with his own family.
They had more time for each other when they were in foster care but that was foster care, now they're out, free from the system.
"Hi Blaze!" Silver had been waiting for Blaze at the new sandwich spot, nose inside the book he carried with him everywhere. He looked up for a moment upon hearing passerby say something he thought was related to him when he saw Blaze.
They haven't seen each other in what felt like ages, a two week break from seeing each other. She goes to an all girls academy and he goes to Cross worlds, a pretty ghetto school if you ask anyone who attends.
"Hi Silver, how have you been?" So for a little explanation of their relationship, they're the type of friends who can tell each other anything but chose not to until the breaking moment.
Blaze is independent, quiet, and people confuse that for her not needing help but she needs help like every other person. Silver's kind, very optimistic about others so it always confuses people when they find out he's on mood stabilizers.
What does he need mood stabilizers for? Well his mood of course. I'm just kidding, author is a jokester. Silver has poor emotion regulation to say the least, emotions that come onto him heavily in flashing patterns. He can mask the mood swings but it's not good for him, it has negative impacts. He left his poor mental health untreated for so long he had a due date.
Blaze picked up on it, his desperate final attempt to ask for help before he left everyone behind. She made sure he started advocating for himself like he should, after all, he made her realize not all people are deserving of harsh criticism. He taught her not to judge a book by their cover immediately, it brought her peace of mind and made her happier. She'll never forget that.
"I've been great, what about you?" They barely text either, both so busy with their own lives. It doesn't impact their friendship though, they know the other cares for them with or without daily texting.
"Good, been spending a lot of time with my sister." Oh Marine, Silver hasn't seen her in ages.
They headed inside the cafe, a huge ass line waiting for them. "She doing well? Still in all those sports?"
"Yeah, she really likes running around. It is plenty annoying though, having to pick her up and take her to her games and practices." Their parents work all day so she's had the carpooling responsibilities placed on her.
"I'm sure it is." He's lucky, he doesn't have to look after Grace unless they've been left alone, which rarely happens because of Silver's past.
"So, any reason you chose this place to meet?" She's actually not a big sandwich person. She likes them but it's not her first or second choice.
"Well it just opened up, I wanted to check it out. Figured it was a good enough idea," he scratched the back of his head. "Unless you have another place in mind?"
Blaze waved her hands, rejecting that idea. "It's fine Silver, we can wait. I don't have that big of an appetite anyways, I won't be hungry."
"Phew," Silver sighed. "Me either. I'll just write down my number and we can walk around until they tell us we have seats?" She nodded in response.
"Hey I know it's weird to bring him up now but hows Mephiles?" She's been trying to see him in a different light, not seeing his true colors. Blaze can't help it, she sees right through him, she just gets their weird feeling of almost deja vu whenever he's nearby.
"He was actually just admitted to the psych ward yesterday," he bit down on his finger subconsciously. Blaze smacked his hand away. "Sorry. I just hope he can get help you know? It must be hard not being able to feel empathy or remorse for your actions."
There are layers to the person Mephiles is but just because there are doesn't erase the fact he is a horrible person who wants and has ruined multiple peoples lives.
"Really? Good for him. Maybe he can get medicated for his issues and find living easier." Also make everyone elses lives easier.
He directly impacts everyone around him being un-medicated but he's never been prescribed anything so what can he do right?
"Okay, enough about him, anything cool happened at your school?" Silver doesn't know much about all girls schools, not does he know how to act like a girl. And by acting like one, he means hushing his voice to a whisper and asking about the latest gossip.
"This one girl got stabbed, if that's what you meant." Silver wore a mortified expression.
"No, that's not what I mean at all!" He's kind of intrigued though. "But like ... what happened?"
Blaze had to hide her snicker, "I'll tell you. So, we got this new girl who transferred in from her old school because of behavioral issues. She was sent here to fix her behavior, yada yada. Now, she started to target this one girl because she's dating the guy she 'fell in love with' on day one of being here."
"She started going around saying how she was going to take her man, be provocative and seduce him. So naturally, his girlfriend, started saying she was going to fight her. Oh, the new girl, let's call her 'Green'. The middle dude, we'll call 'Orange' and his girlfriend we'll call 'Curly'."
"Green, going around saying she was going to steal Curly's man, obviously got both of their attention. Orange kept telling Curly he's not going to leave her, that Green's a 'tramp' anyways. Curly wasn't having it though, she didn't want anyone plotting on her man. So she tells people they're going to fight, fight to see who's the better woman."
Ahhh, Silver started to connect the dots, the dots that explained why Green got stabbed. "To make a long story short, Curly came into the fight with a switchblade in her panties and she pulled it on Green, stabbing her right in the gut. She's currently in the hospital."
"Holy shit, you girls are crazy!" Blaze gave him her usual deadpan look before he fixed his posture and ate his sandwich.
"You like drama huh?" She normally held her tongue and avoided even mentions of stupid drama like this. This time was different though, one of her friends was a middle-lady in it, acting as the main three's messenger pigeon.
"Kinda? It makes me feel included, which I like." Blaze hummed in response, finishing the first triangle of her sandwich.
"You need to work on that, it's not a very good habit but I suppose I can see why if that's the reason." They continued to eat in silence, it didn't last very long anyways, their food almost finished.
They threw away their trash and got ready for their next adventure. Silver had this plan on what they were going to do, to make the most out of their day and have fun.
"Where to now?" Blaze messed with her ruby headband, she was wearing her hair down for once, she almost always has it up.
Silver would never compliment her though, not that he doesn't want to, he just isn't aware. "Plaza, maybe you can go shopping and I can carry your bags."
Growing up Silver would pretend to be her chauffeur or butler, carrying around her bags as a sort of joke on her wealth. Her foster family won her and got to adopt her so now she's a real rich kid. Like Mephiles but he's a biological nepo baby.
"I suppose I could use a few faux fur coats." She played along, always did. It was nice just being able to kid around like they used to when they had more time for each other. They both missed this.
Blaze made sure she looked extra nice because it's been so long. Silver did his usual look and then checked five times over to make sure he wasn't forgetting something.
"Hehe..." Silver was laughing just fine until he looked down Front Street and saw a familiar face, one he didn't want to see.
His dad, he was buying fruits from a street vendor. "Silver?" She looked towards where he was when he saw him too.
"What is he doing here? He doesn't even live near here." As his nose was scrunching from the disgust, he could feel the tears forming as his bridge started to feel compressed.
He hadn't seen his dad since he was taken away from him. Since his attempt.
"I don't know, let's go the long way." They were going to have to pass him in order to reach the plaza faster. Not at all what Silver was capable of handling at the moment.
No. No. NO. FUCK, he saw him. He saw him. Now he's going to talk to him, he's gonna pretend like everything is okay and he didn't abuse Silver. Like he wasn't a shitty father, like he isn't the reason they were separated.
He waved.
He was walking over.
Blaze grabbed Silver's arm in an attempt to drag him away but he was frozen in place, shaking with fear, anger, and honestly sadness. His hands were getting clammy and distress laying over his face.
"Come on Silver, you can do it. Move your feet, one at a time." He can't though, where is this confidence in him coming from? He's never been able to do anything for himself.
He sees a threat and avoids it, it's all he does, he can't this time though. He's still his father, deep down that man poses no threat. Deep down all Silver wants is for him to love him, go to rehab for his alcohol addiction, and for his mother to come back.
He swallowed down his fear, tried to. "Blaze I know why he's coming up to me."
Confused she replied, "what? What is it Silver? You need to tell me." He was already picking at his nail beds.
"He went to rehab Blaze ... we uh," the whole purpose of foster care. "We might be getting reunited soon."
In the beginning of it all, Silver was so happy he wasn't with his dad anymore, a man too unstable to take care of either of them, drowning his sorrows in alcohol. It made Silver curious and he made some, not good decisions because of his environment. A few months passed and his hate for his father, no, his disappointment in him, disappeared. He missed his dad, he just wanted to be held by him again, and live with him again.
After a year of his dad recovering and relapsing, Silver moved in with his current foster family, he's been with them ever since. His dad was never able to make a commitment, the only time was with his wife and she's dead.
"Hey buddy, I see you and Blaze are hanging out." He knows Blaze, he would write Silver letters. He tried being involved but ... addictions set people apart.
Blaze's eyes narrowed, "not to be rude or indecent but do you mind giving him some space?"
"It's fine." Silver let himself go from Blaze's hold. "Hi pop's, you eating healthy?" He had a bag of fruits and veggies, meats and fish. Signs of a dietary change.
"Yeah bud, I've been trying so hard to fix my life around so I can be back in your life. I finally quit drinking last month, smoking two months ago," he paused. "I've been working on my Xanax addiction but it's hard to quit when it's your only coping mechanism."
"Recovery isn't linear and I'm working real hard to get you back. I'm even making home cooked meals with a proper nutrition guide to better my health." He really is trying and for some reason, Silver wanted to punch him in the face, real bad.
Because, where was all of this when he was a kid? Where was all of this when his mom was crawling on the floor paralyzed from the waist down crying, while Silver stood at the bottom of the stairs with his race car backpack? While he was busy drinking away his pain, the pain that truly belonged to his wife and Silver's mother. Why was it that it took having your child being taken from you to make a change in your lifestyle?
It's not fair. "Dad," he caught his attention, quicker than ever before. "Ha, you uh, got a prosthesis?" Yes he dodged the previous topic, why would be dwell on something that made him so miserable?
His father pulled down his sleeve. "Oh that? Haha, you were always an observant kid." You're not answering his question.
"So?"
"I gotta go. It was real nice seeing you kid, I miss you so much. Nice meeting you Blaze. I love you kid." Leaving in such a rush, what are you hiding?
I mean, you never cared about covering up your injuries in the past so why now? What is it that you're keeping from your son? You want him to trust you right? So let him in.
"Sorry Silver, the mood must've been brought down so much. Wanna go home?" Right, home, that's with his moms and little sister.
When he turned back to her his smiled returned. "No, we can still go shopping. Why would I sour your day because of my dad?"
"Okay but don't hesitate to tell me if you wanna leave."