Chapter Text
Shane & Rose
(Private Text Thread)
[September 17th 2021 - 8:04AM]
Rose - omg Shane!!
- Why have I never seen this video before?
- We’ve got ourselves a girl trivia expert over here!
Shane - Not you too! Why is this such a big deal to everyone? It’s just one of a bunch of stupid league pr videos I had to do.
Rose - Most of your media is so boring!
- I could do like 90% of it for you.
- They’re a good team over there but they’ve still got weaknesses we can capitalise on. We just need to stick to our systems and play our own game for a full 60 minutes. Keep playing simple hockey, getting pucks in deep, skating hard, winning our battles and creating chances. Like I said the boys are going to go out there and give it 100% and hopefully get some pucks in the back of the net.
- No personality
Shane - Shut up!
Rose - What! They didn’t have media appropriate hockey cliches you could memorise on how to answer girl trivia?
- How does Shane Hollander cope when he has to think for himself?! 😱😱
Shane - I just answered the questions normally!
Rose - According to the rest of the guys in the vid normally is dumb as shit
- Are you like the only decent non stupid guy in the mlh?
Shane - No. There’s Ilya for one. And Hayden. And most of the Centaurs are good guys.
Rose - Shane that was rhetorical.
- I know it’s a stereotype but those concussions really have lowered the overall iq of the mlh
- idk what’s worse, these guys actually being as dumb as rocks, or gua sha according to that one guy, or if they’re just that oblivious about girly things?
Shane - Is it even worse if it’s both?
Rose - YES! 😭
Shane - Ilya said it’s like the girly things have cooties they don’t want to catch.
Rose - 😂😂
- I’m glad you found one of the good ones.
- I would hate to have to be nice to your bf if he was some stupid hockey bro.
Shane - Like you would have been nice if he was an idiot.
Rose - You’re right.
- I don’t let my friends date idiots.
- At least not without telling them.
- It should be embarrassing that these guys in the video don't take an interest in the things their partners get up to. Not seen as funny and entertaining for content.
- I bet all those wags can tell you loads about the nuances of hockey and these guys don't even know basic skincare.
- I’m sad for their partners and their skin.
Shane - If it helps not all players are like that.
- And Hasey is even trying to educate the others.
Rose - The ratio of stupid to non-stupid in that screenshot is not helping your point Shane.
- And arguably they should know more than you as they actually live with women
Shane - Ilya said their wives are wasted on them.
Rose - Haha 😂😂
- He's not wrong.
Shane - And you wouldn't believe what some of the guys think counts as skincare. Ignorance really is bliss.
Rose - No, I can imagine.
- I do have 3 brothers remember.
- When we were teenagers John and Peter had a competition to see how long they could go without washing their hair.
Shane - No!
Rose - Yes. And they got really competitive about it too.
- They stank for months🤮🤮
- John has a busted nose so maybe he couldn’t smell it but Peter definitely could. He just didn’t want to lose.
Shane - Sounds like everyone in that house lost.
Rose - You’re so lucky you’re an only child.
- Basic hygiene was like a bare minimum with teenage brothers.
- I should have known it was too good to be real when I saw you do your skincare routine.
Shane - Having a skincare routine doesn't make me gay!
Rose - No. But I only ever seem to meet gross straight men or nice gay ones.
- You should invite me to another event so I can get to know some of those more normal guys from your wedding again.
Shane - You're too good for them Rose. You've got to hold out for better than my teammates.
Rose - Ilya would help me 😞
Shane - Ilya would be even more protective.
Rose - I'll be alone forever 😞😞
Shane - I would offer advice but I’ve been told my love life isn’t very relatable.
Rose - Yeah, your experiences are NOT universal honey.
- I still keep my gua sha in the fridge btw.
- And I freeze my jade roller now too.
Shane - Ugh, your poor face.
Rose - I thought you liked my face 😞
Shane - I do. That's just so cold for your skin.
Rose - Buuuttt have you considered, it feels nice. And it calms my puffy eyes down in the morning 😊
Shane - You don't have puffy eyes.
Rose - Exactly.
Shane - Rose?!
- ???
Rose - Well I did know first.
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