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English
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Part 1 of Like a Stabbed Child
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caine angst and other stuff, Every single Caine fanfic.
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Published:
2026-05-24
Completed:
2026-06-02
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8,537
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9/9
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The Solution to Insanity (isn't this)

Chapter 9: A Few Pillows and One Bucket

Notes:

My brain... has kind of stopped working. -.-
So this chapter is NOT peak. @~@

Like, the ending is kindaaaa... confusing, maybe? Probably not emotional enough, and kind of a lot of exposition that mostly just... leads into the sequel.
It's not, like, unreadable ofc. But still, be warned.

And AAAALSO, this is mildly important:
I went back to edit a few moments in previous chapters, to add in that the circus is kind of... ALL Caine?? Like, he can feel the entire thing like an extension of his body, but it isn't super intense and he doesn't notice it most of the time.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Before Caine could even process that Ragatha had pushed him off the edge of the floor, he got hit by shockwaves of pain that came from landing in someone else's arms. It might have made him scream, but he was too sapped of energy to react any more than grunting and squirming slightly.

From the way he bounced in their arms with each step, he could tell the person's strides were excessively large, meaning it could only be Jax. They were quiet, though, and being helpful, which meant it couldn't be Jax.
But it didn't matter who it was. Better than being alone.

Their movement felt unnatural, probably from the scattered flooring and.. well, they were most likely injured too.

Overwhelmed by the amount of pain in his avatar, Caine couldn't really tell what the circus felt like anymore, so he didn't know exactly where all the floor chunks were or even how much circus was left. Hopefully enough for Jax or whoever this was to find a walkable enough path to... wherever they were bringing him.

 

After an unknown amount of time passed, they bundled Caine up into as round a shape they could, and threw him.

Caine did not appreciate this, but he ended up landing on a carefully placed pillow, and then immediately picked up again. While being carried, he felt a ribbon hand affectionately rubbing his head.
She held him facing behind her, so he couldn't see it, and even though it had never been directed at him before, he could picture the soft smile of Gangle's tragedy mask.

Her movement was oddly smooth and coordinated, despite stepping in strange patterns.

When she stopped moving, disembodied hands scooped Caine out of Gangle's arms and floated him across the expanse of void, placing him on a few pillows laying on the remaining floor.
"It's okay, Caine."
Kinger's voice, soothing and assured of itself. "I have your code open now. I'll get you fixed up."

So all Caine had to do was wait, and everything would be okay.

The passage of time felt blurry to him now, so he couldn't tell if it was mere moments or full hours that passed, but he could feel Gangle petting his head consolingly for a lot of it.

 

He then felt a... something.
Something changed.

Whatever it was made him feel much smaller, very very devoid of something, but also very relieved of some kind of all-over queasiness, and finally just slightly free enough in the head to be able to think. Even if barely.
And also, much heavier.

He still felt extreme pain, so he held his hand up to his eyes.
It looked terrible.
Punctured, bruised, shaky.

Caine tried to sit up to give Kinger a questioning look, but he... couldn't?
He flailed around the way a turtle stuck on its shell would, unable to lift his head. It felt too heavy.

Pomni slipped her hands under his head and pushed him upright.

He gave Kinger a questioning look.

Kinger couldn't see it under his bucket, so Pomni gently said, "Kinger? Can you explain it to him?"

Caine enjoyed hearing his humans' voices again, instead of just that constant, unbearable whirr. (Which remained, and still quite loudly, but quiet enough to hear other things.)

"You managed to get yourself all messed up, huh, buddy?" Kinger said in a way that somehow managed to be more affectionate than condescending.
"Well, I couldn't edit anything to fix you up without a major risk of deleting something crucial, like parts of your personality or memories, so... The only remaining option I had was to put you and the circus on the preset Emergency Shutdown Mode."

"... Huh?"

Kinger kept explaining, "You and the circus are now disconnected from each other, so, you can't edit it anymore. It will slowly repair itself using its backup scan of what it last looked like, but you can't help with that, unfortunately. Though you also won't feel it, which might be more comfortable for you."

Caine didn't quite understand why Kinger would care about his comfort, but Kinger just kept listing.

"You can no longer float; you can't summon anyone or teleport yourself; and you can't repair our avatars or your own, so we're all going to be stuck with whatever state we're in now for quite a while. Though we can help each other with it. We can all still conjure things, and you're still better at it than we are, so we could make first aid kits and things like that."

Everyone stayed quiet, listening.

"You can still make adventures, but they'll have to be much more simplistic than what you usually make. Much less texture and things like that.
You'll be unable to create new NPCs, and you can only make one adventure per week."

Caine nodded slowly. He felt like a bobblehead all of a sudden.

Jax asked "Is that it?" with an emotional combination Caine had heard enough to recognize: Boredom and disgust.

"Pretty much. But," Kinger tapped the side of his bucket for some reason. "it will be hard for you to move around, Caine. You didn't exactly design your avatar for mobility, and especially with your injuries and the slippery, scattered flooring..."

"I am FINE with mobility!! I was able to run around earlier!" Caine crossed his arms and closed his teeth in defense, only to be reminded of the large chips in them.

"Yes, well..." Kinger rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "You were in a much better physical state earlier."

Right.

He attempted to stand up.
He failed horribly, not even managing to get up at first, and then toppling over twice in a row when he did manage to partially stand.

Ragatha and Pomni straightened him up to keep his balance for him.

?? Helping him?
"Thank you, my dears!"

From here, he could see that his avatar was... even smaller than Pomni's. It felt strange looking up at everyone, so used to floating above them all.

"OH!" Kinger snapped his fingers. "There's also one more thing. It's very important."

Caine tried his best to focus through the pain.
He fell over again, but Ragatha adjusted him to be sat up comfortably.

"You know you were maintaining our avatar's basic needs, right?"

"Of course! I can't have you all passing out from exhaustion and dehydration all the time!" He replied proudly.

Everyone looked slowly turned to look at Caine and Kinger after they said that. Caine couldn't tell what emotion it was with.

Kinger explained to everyone, "If we're capable of falling in mud, and things like that, we're capable of getting dirty. But Caine always removes that kind of thing immediately so it won't distract us."

Caine nodded, proud of himself.

"So we'll have to clean up ourselves now.
We still don't need bathrooms or food, but we will need water and sleep. The water is just to keep our 'hardware' cool, though this snow seems to be doing a perfectly fine job at that, and the sleep is...
Well, we all know what sleep is.
Caine made it so that we'd function fine without it, because sleep deprivation can make people go insane.
But... given the sudden circumstances, we have to actually focus on these things now, and," he lifted his bucket slightly, to look Caine in the eyes. "Your avatar is basically the same as ours now, so you do as well."

"......... Huh."

Ragatha put her hand on his back. "But don't worry. We'll help."

Gangle patted his head again, in support.

Notes:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAND it's sequel time, ladies and gentlemen (and Zoobles)!

Actually, two sequels. One that shows these events AGAIN but from the circus' members side of things, and one that covers the events following all this.

Notes:

A lot of this story was inspired by Jack Harris's music.
Particularly his songs "Real As Ever", "Sleepy (insomnia)" and, for chapter 5, "Right Behind You (run away)"

And the sequel (of what happens after all this) will be largely inspired by... well, those ones again, but also, his songs “Monsters At Your Door”, “Careful What You Wish For (the doctor said to)”, and "Not Enough"

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