Chapter Text
-1 year later-
Strawberrymilk: SLUTS
Strawberrymilk: GUESS WHO I LOVE
Queen™: me
Strawberrymilk: true
Strawberrymilk: but also Hijikata
Queen™: GODD YOURE GETTING MARRIED SOON SOON
Queen™: AND YOURE COMING BACK TODAY!!!!
Hijikata: AHH i miss you all
Hjikata: i cannot wait to see your faces irl
Fruitpunchsamurai: I CANT WAIT TO KISS YOU
Destroyeverything: cant believe my son is gonna get married...
Strawberrymilk: youre my son
Destroyeverything: no. you
Queen™: hey clowns shut up
Fruitpunchsamurai: when is we getting married Sugi huh
Fruitpunchsamurai: WHEN
Destroyeverything: when my braincells multiply
Sadist: so never
Strawberrymilk: MAYHAPS HE SNAPPED
Destroyeverything: how dare you
Queen™: i dont want to pressure you but we all like...engaged and/or married
Destroyeverything: your point is?
Destroyeverything: just lemme go at my own rythm
Fruitpunchsamurai: yeah like who cares? Not me.
Queen™: congrats he’s mad
Strawberrymilk: WOW
Destroyeverything: we will find a way
Strawberrymilk: anyone else finds it weird that Sougo popped the question...sooo out of character too
Sadist: fuck off? We’ve been together five times as much as you
Sadist: we deserve this
Sadist: plus the wedding’s in a year
Fruitpunchsamurai: wonder why...
Queen™: because someone (gintoki) who we will not name (gintoki), didnt want to have the spotlight taken away from him
Queen™: and since were good friends...we pushed our wedding back
Strawberrymilk: i did not say it like that
Sadist: i hate you, you said exactly that
Strawberrymilk: stop i asked first so i deserve it. It’s only fair
Sadist: if you say so
Hijikata: were arriving now see you all later at Gintoki’s place
Destroyeverything: yep!!!
Queen™: sent a photo
Queen™: the biggest and fattest smooch in the world for the best boy
Strawberrymilk: oh my god he is so cute dkdksksksk
Strawberrymilk: his cute surprised face like :o
Strawberrymilk: im so jealous i wanna kiss Hijikata’s cheek too not fair kags
Hijikata: omg im literally sitting right next to you ....
Strawberrymilk: not true. Kags is in between us
Queen™: and im not moving slut
Hijikata: meanie
Queen™: shut up youre getting married in two (2) days. You can finally have sex then!
Strawberrymilk: cant believe i will lose my virginity
Fruitpunchsamurai: didnt you lose your virginity to a frat boy in college
Strawberrymilk: YOU PROMISED NOT TO TELL
Queen™: A FRAT BOY FKDKDKKEKE
Fruitpunchsamurai: gintoki carries the lgbt community on his back ever since that day
Fruitpunchsamurai: truly took one for the team and turned that homophobic asshole into the gayest mf i ever knew
Strawberrymilk: frat boy : 0 me : 369
Hijikata: can we like ... not
Hijikata: the image of Gintoki with a frat boy (homophobic at that) is not the most pleasing image before our marriage
Strawberrymilk: sorry bby :(((
Fruitpunchsamurai: its not as bad as kagura tho.... her first was sougo like DEADASS
Fruitpunchsamurai: how sad is that
Queen™: how is it sad skekeklelle
Queen™: were still together as far as i know
Strawberrymilk: so corny lmao imagine being with only ONE person in your entire life
Hijikata: its not sad its cute
Fruitpunchsamurai: if you say so
Queen™: thx Hiji im gonne give u another kiss
Strawberrymilk: NO
Destroyeverything: sent a video
Destroyeverything: OH NO I FUCKRR UP
Sakamoto（＾ω＾): I CANT BELEIEVE YOU MANAGED TO FUCK UP
Fruitpunchsamurai: i know i say this everyday but sugi... im breaking up with you
Fruitpunchsamurai: YOU HAD ONE JOB
Destroyeverything: im bad with technology ok???
Sakamoto（＾ω＾): how fucking HARD is it to film hijigin’s first kiss as married men like
Sakamoto（＾ω＾): youre killing me Takasugi, you’re killing me
Fruitpunchsamurai: we asked for hijigin and all you give us is your ugly ass face 2cm from the camera weeping like a five year old
Fruitpunchsamurai: DIDNT YOU REALIZE IT WASNT ON THE RIGHT SIDE YOU COCKFACE
Destroyeverything: im sorry i was so emotional i just didnt realize
Sakamoto（＾ω＾): gintoki is going to be MAD mad
Destroyeverything: dont tell me i ruined his wedding
Destroyeverything: bc i did, im gonna kill myself
Hijikata: omg guys can you stop texting its stressing me out
Hijikata: my phone wont stop buzzing and im tryna be chill
Hijikata: sugi its okay, my brother filmed the whole thing
Hijikata: sent a video
Hijikata: here
Destroyeverything: OH MY GOOODS
Fruitpunchsamurai: IM CRYIG AGAIN
Fruitpunchsamurai: my babies my absolute babies
Hijikata: please enjoy the rest of the night and try not to embarrass us
Sakamoto（＾ω＾): that was totally Gintoki texting
Fruitpunchsamurai: tots
Sakamoto（＾ω＾): thots
Fruitpunchsamurai: shut up tatsuma
Strawberrymilk: heyggyttjeje
Strawberrymilk: im married
Hijikata: yeah you are
Strawberrymilk: heh stranger
Strawberrymilk: can i tell you a secret
Hijikata: youre drunk but go ahead babe
Strawberymilk: omg dont call me babe im a married man
Strawberrymilk: my secret is that i am for the very first time in a while, truly happy
Strawberrymilk: its like Hijikata (the man i married, you wouldnt know him) took the broken pieces that floated around my broken soul and fixed them one by one each day we were together until today, where the complicated puzzle of gintoki finally came all together to make sense
Strawberrymilk: and now i have this ridiculous smile glued to my face and it wont go away bc i love him so much and nothing could make me happier than spending the rest of my life with him
Strawberrymilk: Hijikata is my soulmate
Hijikata: this man probably feels so lucky to have you in his life, too. He might have felt empty at some point in his life, until his friend introduced him to someone as amazing as you are, Gintoki.
Hijikata: and im sure the man you married thanks his lucky star everyday that he was able to survive this long and to have been able to fall in love and find his soulmate.
Hijikata: you’re my soulmate too
Strawberrymilk: im going to sleep
Hijikata: i love you
Queen™: im a drunk ass mess and i canr stop cryjtn
Queen™: they areso made for each other
Fruitpunchsamurai: they truly are
Fruitpunchsamurai: i am such a good friend
Queen™: shut up youre ruining this
Fruitpunchsamurai: ily too
Sadist: hows our favourite couple doing this morning
Sadist: truly hope gintoki didnt die of embarrassment bc of what he wrote
Destroyeverything: leave them alone
Sadist: no thanks
Queen™: sougo can you be this romantic at our wedding
Sadist: you wish
Queen™: yeah i kinda just asked you
Queen™: can you read
Sadist: you know im bad with this stuff
Queen™: just say you love me at least
Sadist: now? Nuh uh
Queen™: fine then have fun being single
Sadist: youre so dramatic ...
Destroyeverything: oh fuck im reallt abt to witness romantic sougo
Sadist: shut up i will strangle you
Sadist: kagura ... pleas dont make me do this
Queen™: okay. Dont do it if you dont wanna
Queen™: i wont force you
Destroyeverything: alexa this is so sad play despacito
Sadist: i love you kagura you know it way too well
Sadist: and i dont know why i must prove it here that i love you bc i do, bc you know i love you. i love you i love you
Sadist: im marrying you isnt that proof enough that I LOVE YOU
Queen™: YOU LOVE ME ? ??
Queen™: this is soooo embarrassing
Sadist: i-
Queen™: how long have you loved me? You shouldve told me
Sadist: oh my GOD i cant believe im marrying such a huge bitch
Queen™: but you love me right? You just told everyone
Sadist: yes i love you
Queen™: I LOVE YOU TOO !!!!!
Queen™: i cant wait to marry you
Sadist: yeah me too
Destroyeverything: god i hate happy couples
Fruitpunchsamurai: i guess this is it ...
Destroyeverything: were parting ways ...
Fruitpunchsamurai: im gonna miss you all so much...
Fruitpunchsamurai: sugi pleas i hope you know my heart is yours forever and i will never replace you even if we never get married bc were broke its okay
Fruitpunchsamurai: youre the only one for me ... truly
Destroyeverything: babe omg dont say stuff like that i love you so so much
Fruitpunchsamurai: me too sugi ... me too
Strawberrymilk: can yall shut the fuck up
Strawberrymilk: Zura is leaving to get food he’ll be back in 1 hour tops
Hijikata: youre all so dramatic ejekeoeomeke
Hijikata: i love you all weirdos
Queen™: for real, you all feel like my second family
Sadist: sappy alert
Queen™: shut up
Fruitpunchsamurai: can we like ... remain friends forever
Sakamoto（＾ω＾): YES
Fruitpunchsamurai: and keep this gc alive until were all in our graves
Sakamoto（＾ω＾): YES
Queen™: YES SIR
Destroyeverything: i’d do anything you ask zura
Strawberrymilk: this is the best thing that happened to me so of course what kind of question
Hijikata: UWU YES ALWAYS
Sadist: if everyone’s on board, i guess i am too
Fruitpunchsamurai: oh shut it we know you love us
Sadist: ....
Strawberrymilk: thank you for being part of my life
Hijikata: yes ... thanks for this wild aventure
Destroyeverything: zura is here with the food
Sakamoto（＾ω＾): PIZZAAA
Sadist: lit
Queen™: finally i was starting to fucking starve
Strawberrymilk: thanks guys
Strawberrymilk: <3