Chapter Text
School was in session for all of thirty seconds before the first akuma hit.
The entire class let out a collective groan as cell phones began buzzing. Adrien let out a whimper, as he had just put his head down to take a quick power nap through the morning announcements. Miss Bustier tossed her lesson plan on her desk and sighed. “Of course,” she grumbled. “Okay class, you know the drill. Get with your buddy and shelter in the gym.”
As if on cue, two hands shot up.
“I need to head home!” Adrien said, his phone in hand.
“I need to use the restroom!” Marinette said as she held up her purse. “Girl problems!”
Miss Bustier raised an eyebrow. Marinette had been having girl problems for 17 weeks straight. “Alright,” Caline sighed as the class filed out. “Just be careful and stay safe.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s just the bathroom,” Marinette said as she gathered her things.
“Of course it is,” Caline muttered as she sipped her cocoa.
***
The akuma was busy smashing up cars in the middle of the road. It looked like a gigantic white garbage truck had decided to become a mecha, complete with red stripes along the arms. Currently, it was shaking a family out of a Hyundai.
“Run, fools!” The akuma shouted. It’s voice sounded like it was coming out of a loud speaker. “I am Thrash Compactor! You’ve all dirtied the streets of this fine city for years, so now I’m taking you out!”
Ladybug landed on a rooftop overlooking the carnage. Landing beside her was a yawning Chat Noir. “So, what’s his deal?” he asked through a stretch.
Ladybug eyed her partner. “Um, you doing alright there, kitty?”
Chat shrugged. “Rough night. Apparently, there’s a ghost haunting my Alexa that kept playing music all night.”
Ladybug raised an eyebrow at that. “Isn’t it more likely that it was malfunctioning?”
Chat thought about it. “Possibly, but father thinks it’s a ghost, so, you know.”
Ladybug nodded. While she was sure there was no such thing as ghosts, she also knew how desperate Chat was for his father’s attention. She swore that if she ever met the man in person, she would start things off with a punch to the face.
The akuma paused as a purple butterfly appeared over its face.
“Yes,” Hawkmoth purred in the mecha's microphone-ears. “Keep up the destruction, Thrash Compactor. Soon, Ladybug and Chat Noir will…”
“Hey chief, watcha’ doin’ there?” A second voice cut in.
Thrash Compactor blinked. “Um, sorry?”
The purple butterfly flickered a little.
“Begone, you! I am working and have no time for your foolishness!” Hawkmoth’s voice snapped.
“Why’s yer face all glowy?” The second voice asked. "Is that some sorta magic rash?"
“I’m… This is what I do. This is literally my power! How... How can you not know that?”
“Yer power is ta make glowy faces? Now see? That right there is just silly. I mean Mullo? Her power is sorta dumb, but I’ve still seen her do some right useful things. And ole Wayzz? Heck, even he’s kinda handy in a pinch, but makin’ glowy faces? Is that so ya can see here in this dark ole’ room?”
Trash Compactor stood still and nervously fidgeted. In a tentative voice, the giant mecha boomed, “Um, look. Maybe we should to this another time? I mean, if you’re busy and all…”
Hawkmoth sputtered. “I’m not busy! I’m focused, and so are you! Now, bring me…”
“Oooh!” The second voice cut in. “It’s one o’ them there ordering things? Like what the folks use ta get food in them shows on the magic glowin’ box?”
“No!”
“Tell em’ I want a chocolate shake! Them things look powerful good.”
"Got it," Thrash Compactor said. "One shake, coming up."
“THIS IS NOT AN ORDERING WINDOW! Bring me the miraculous!”
"Sorry," Thrash Compactor said. "Getting the miraculous."
“Hey, glowy bug!” The second voice shouted. “Get me a chocolate shake!”
Trash Compactor let out a long sigh and started lumbering towards a diner. “As you command,” he said in a defeated voice.
“NO!” Hawkmoth screamed. “I WANT THE MIRACULOUS!”
“Ya can’t drink a miraculous, silly.” The second voice cut in. “Get that shake!”
“Get the miraculous!”
“Shake!”
“Miraculous!”
“YOU’RE TEARING ME APART!” Thrash Compactor screamed as he held his head and dropped to his giant robot knees. A moment later, a little purple butterfly drifted out of his back as he de-transformed into a city employee holding a candy wrapper.
Ladybug blinked in confusion. “You know what? It’s early. I’ll take it.” She shrugged and threw out her yoyo. In a flash, she purified the akuma. She then quickly summoned a lucky charm, which this time around was a loaded crossbow.
“Aw man,” Chat Noir whistled. “That one woulda been awesome to use.”
“Yeah, well…” Ladybug tossed it in the air and let her magic bugs fix the devastation from the akuma. In a heartbeat, the city was back to normal.
***
Gabriel slumped in his poofy leather office chair as his eyes shot daggers towards the smiling, oblivious kwami. Ziggy happily floated around his study as he loudly slurped a chocolate shake that Nathalie had broken down and gotten for him.
Once he got to the bottom, he loudly slurped that laaaaaassssst bit an extra long time, just to make sure he got it all. “Woooo Whee! That there hit the spot! Let me tell you!” Ziggy grinned and let out a loud burp as he tossed the shake cup at the trash can, missing it by a foot.
Gabriel pushed the intercom button on his desk. “Nathalie?”
“Yes, Sir?” Gabriel flinched. Nathalie’s voice normally didn’t carry quite so much bite.
“I think it’s time we reviewed options.”
“Agreed,” Nathalie said. A moment later, she marched in through the study door with a red and black box in her hand. She held it up for Ziggy to see. “Mr. Ziggy,” Nathalie said in a cold voice.
Ziggy looked over. “Mornin’ Ma’am! It’s sure good ta see you found yer clothes. Why were ya lookin’ fer them in this rustler’s room last night?”
Nathalie blushed and adjusted her jacket. “That’s not important right now. Ziggy, I want…”
Ziggy flew closer and whispered, “I gotta say, Ma'am. Based on what I saw last night, y'all woulda made a fine cowgirl. Where'd ya learn ta ride?"
Gabriel, now red, put his face in his hands and muttered, "Jesus Christ."
Nathalie turned beet-red and glared at Ziggy. "Chavagnes," she said without missing a beat. "And for the record, that is inappropriate to discuss."
"What?" Ziggy asked, a wide-eyed look of innocence on his face. "I just saw me some good ole' fashioned horseback ridin' and knot tyin'. I got's ta say, y'all reminded me of the ro-dee-o." Ziggy thought for a moment. "Though it does work better if ya got yerself a horse."
"Ziggy..." Nathalie said through her teeth. Gabriel's head slumped forward and slammed against his desk.
"Y’all seem like a fine, upstandin’ lady. I gotta ask, why y’all sharin’ a bedroll with this here rustler? He don’t even dress good.”
Nathalie cleared her throat. “That’s not your…”
“I mean,” Ziggy continued. “I get that he’s, like, yer boss an all, but y'all could do so much better. What about that there Gorilla-lookin’ fella? He seems nice. Smells better, too.”
Gabriel swept everything off his desk and threw a paperweight at the wall. “Just get him out of here!”
“Ziggy,” Nathalie said, slightly louder. “Get in the box.” She held up the miraculous box.
“Ma’am,” Ziggy said with a nod. He swirled around her for a moment and then disappeared, leaving her and Gabriel in a blessedly silent room.
“What would you like done with this, Sir?” Nathalie asked as she held up the mmiraculous case.
“Burn it for all I care! Just get it out of here!” Gabriel rubbed his face and let out a growl.
“Very well, Sir,” Nathalie said as she turned to leave. She paused at the door. “For the record, Sir? You smell just fine.”
Nathalie couldn’t hide her smirk as Gabriel screamed for her to leave.
***
Ladybug was out on her evening solo patrol. Paris had been quiet since that morning, and even then, the akuma had, um, cancelled itself out? Gave up? Ladybug still wasn’t quite sure what had happened there, but she was grateful all the same. Also, having some time to herself when she was out swinging was wonderful.
She loved her partner, don’t get me wrong. Chat was great, but, well, chatty. With everything on her mind and the loss of the miraculous, Ladybug desperately needed some alone time.
She came to rest atop the Arc de Triomphe with a lunch bag and drink in hand. She had hit Pierre’s deli for a quick after-dinner dinner and was looking forward to the three-meat combo sandwich she had ordered.
Ladybug plopped down, setting out her sandwich on its wrapper beside her. She then took out some fresh, warm chocolate chip cookies, because really, what’s a sandwich without cookies? A tall drink of grape soda (because sometimes juice just wasn’t enough) was placed beside it, it’s sides brimming with condensation. Ladybug opened her yoyo and found her ‘chill’ playlist. With a content sigh, she settled in for a relaxing evening to herself.
Just as she was about to take a bite of her sandwich, something hard bopped her in the back of the head. Ladybug let out a small yelp and spun around, her sandwich accidentally being squished in her grip. She looked around frantically, but her mystery assailant had already disappeared.
“Huh,” Ladybug said as she slowly relaxed. She glanced down and her eyes went wide as she saw a familiar red and black box. She quickly picked it up and opened it. A white spark flew out and swirled around her before settling in front of her face.
“Ma’am,” Ziggy said. He tipped an imaginary hat.
“Huh,” Ladybug said again as she scratched her head. “You, um, you’re back?”
Ziggy nodded. “Yep.”
Ladybug looked around again. “You, uh, you, where were you?”
Ziggy whistled. “Somewhere fancy, let me tell you. Buncha rustlers that liked playin’ with glowin’ things and pretend ro-dee-o playin', but the food was sure good. Yep,” he glanced at Ladybug’s sandwich. “Food was mi-tee good.”
Ladybug smiled. “I’m just happy you’re safe. Welcome back, Ziggy.”
Zigggy blushed. “Aww, thank ya, Ma’am.” He glanced again at her sandwich. “You, uh, y’all gonna finish that?”
Ladybug sat back down and split her sandwich in two. She handed the other half to Ziggy, who accepted it with a grin. “Thank ya kindly.”
“Yer welcome, partner,” Ladybug said as she took a bite.
Content and now relieved to have her missing kwami back, the new guardian settled in to enjoy her evening. She wanted to ask a dozen questions, but her experiences with this particular kwami had taught her that the answers you received weren't always the ones you wanted. So, despite the ridiculous coincidence of having her kwami returned, Ladybug chalked things up to her luck powers and left them at that. Things did tend to happen in her favor, after all. Still, getting a kwami chucked at your head wasn't very heroic...
She'd just tell Chat she found the miraculous after a heated battle. With ninjas.
“I like yer tunes,” Ziggy said, his mouth full of food. “Y’all got some good taste.”
“Thanks,” Ladybug said as she took a sip of soda. “You’re pretty easy going, aren’t you?”
“Awww,” Ziggy said, blushing. “Yer the sweetest guardian I’ve met in a dog’s age, that ya are.”
Ladybug smiled and scratched Ziggy behind the ears. “You’re just trying to get a cookie."
“And a sip o’ that there drink,” Ziggy said.
Ladybug had been looking forward to a night to herself, but all things considered? A little company wasn’t so bad, after all.