Chapter Text
The sudden influx of information was slightly overwhelming but George did his best to sort through it, he swiped away useless notifications, and focused on the most important things: responding to his friends and announcing his return.
Guilt filled him when he saw the progressively more and more worried tone of the messages he had received. Dream, Sapnap and a couple of others had messaged him almost immediately after he had sent out the tweet, asking him what was happening and if he was alright, and George had unknowingly ignored them, not truly believing they would even send anything at the time. Dream had tried to call him everyday, always leaving him a message after, the last one left only a couple of hours ago simply said ‘George please come back, it’s been a week now, I miss you’.
Tears burned his eyes at the thought that people cared that much about him.
He truly didn’t think people would even really acknowledge his absence.
He swallowed back his tears and clicked the call button next to Dream’s contact name, it rang only once before he heard the sound of his friend's voice.
“George?” Dream sounded frantic and hopeful.
“Hi.” George sniffled, trying to stubbornly contain his tears.
“George! Fuck, are you okay? I was worried sick about you.” Dream’s voice trembled but George couldn’t tell if it was anger or worry that tinted his tone.
“I’m fine, sorry for worrying you guys, I just really needed a break from everything.”
“George you can’t just disappear on us like that, I almost thought you were fucking dead, if it wasn’t for your damn tweet I could have literally called the police!”
George choked slightly at that, surely he couldn’t have thought it was that bad, right?
“I’m sorry, I just… I needed to clear my head a little bit.”
It sounded stupid now that he said it aloud, he almost wanted to hang up, throw his phone away, and go back to his self-imposed isolation. Everything was so much easier when he didn’t need to talk to anybody.
“Did… did something happen? Did we, did I do something wrong?”
“What?! Of course not, you didn’t do anything wrong, Dream.” George winced at the idea that his friend could have been blaming himself all week for his departure.
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel like it was your fault, it wasn’t at all, it’s just that…” he paused, “Nevermind, it just wasn’t your fault.”
“Could you maybe tell me what happened?” Dream voice was unsure, as if afraid that any misguided word would make the brunette bolt again.
George exhaled shakily, eyes roaming around his room, stopping on the small holes puncturing the wall behind his computer where his flag had been held by small tacks before he moved it above his bed.
“George?”
He jumped slightly at the call of his name, realizing he had been silent for too long, he unclenched his left hand that was gripping the phone uncomfortably tight.
“Yeah?”
“I can’t help if you don’t tell me anything, George, please.”
The hurt he could feel in Dream’s words twisted his insides uncomfortably.
“Uh, you know my last stream?” he didn’t pause, already knowing Dream’s answer. “Well, I had to cut it short, ‘cause uh my… my p-parents came to visit.” He hated the way he stumbled over the last few words, how even thinking about them could sour his mood instantly.
“Is that good or bad?” Dream said, perplexed.
George couldn’t hold back the huff of laughter that escaped him.
“Honestly?”
“Preferably yeah.” Dream responded drily, making the corner of George’s mouth quirk up slightly.
“Pretty fucking bad.”
George knew perfectly well that Dream wouldn’t understand him, his relationship with his family was great. Well, he had a rough few fights with his parents during his teen years, but now every time he talked about them his voice was clearly fond, he loved them and they loved him just as much.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Dream replied.
George laughed humorlessly.
“I didn’t tell you.”
And he hadn’t ever really, he had always religiously avoided talking about his parents and his relationship, or lack thereof of relationship, with them. When he had met Dream he had already moved out to go to university, before eventually moving into his own flat, so the subject wouldn’t come up often, and, when it did George would just subtly deflect the conversation to a more comfortable topic.
The silence hung heavy between them for a moment, Dream silently encouraging George to elaborate on what he had just said.
“Listen, it’s complicated, we don’t get along at all, they hate the fact that I stream, they hate that… that…'' George stopped, would Dream consider him differently if he knew he was trans? Surely not, right? The man was always supportive with everyone and had never expressed any kind of animosity towards trans people, or the LGBT community in general.
“Yeah?” Dream spoke softly, reassuringly.
George sighed, trying to calm his racing heart as his cat pawed insistently at his leg. He picked him up, putting his phone down.
“Sorry, wait a second, my cat is demanding my attention.”
He heard Dream wheeze on the other side of the phone, the light sound contrasting with the serious atmosphere from a couple of seconds ago.
“Turn your camera on, I haven’t seen him in too long.” Dream asked, seizing the perfect opportunity to also see George and make sure he looked alright.
George grumbled but complied, propping his phone against his monitor so his hands would be free to pet his cat, checking that it was pointed towards his door rather than his bed and pride flag, and switching to a video call. He watched Dream’s face appear on his own screen, the man wearing his own smiley face merch, also sitting as his desk, one leg propped up.
George used his cat’s paw to wave at the camera, raising a brow. “Satisfied?”
Dream smiled in response, “Yeah, so, uhm, what were you saying about your parents?”
“Oh, I was saying that they’re not really supportive of the whole streaming thing, they’re pretty strongly against it.” He ran his hands through his cat’s soft gray fur so he wouldn’t dig his nails in his palms like he so desperately wanted to, aware of Dream’s watchful gaze trained on him.
“But do they not know that you’re really successful now?”
George flushed, waving his left hand through the air, “Stop saying it like that, I’m not that successful compared to you, you’re the one getting millions of subscribers every month or something. And they just don’t think that it’s a real job, they say it’s nothing more than a hobby.”
“You’re such an idiot, you get tons too, me getting more doesn’t diminish your own success, doesn’t change the fact that you’re definitely earning more money than with a real job", he said the last words distastefully.
George shrugged, he was pretty sure he could do anything and his father would find a good reason to hate it, nothing could make him even somewhat proud. His accomplishments didn’t matter in the slightest because it was him they disliked, well what “he had become”, according to them.
“They don’t care, they would hate whatever I did anyways.” He explained, looking away from his phone screen, not wanting to see the pitying look that was surely on Dream’s face.
“Well, I’m sorry, but your parents sound like assholes.”
The brunette's gaze snapped back to the screen and he laughed nervously, his finger instinctually finding the uneven skin of the scar decorating his cheekbone.
“My father would probably kick the shit out of you if he heard you talk about them like that.”
Dream frowned, narrowing his eyes for a second, “Did he…was he the one that…” he gestured to George then touched his own cheekbone, right below his right eye, mirroring George’s action a moment prior.
George immediately let his hand fall, as if his own skin had burnt him, heart dropping.
“What?”
“Nevermind.” Dream said, afraid he went too far, eyes still carefully following George’s movements.
George anxiously stared back at him. Mind racing, wasn’t he supposed to come back and be honest? Wasn’t that the whole point of coming back? To stop hiding? What was he doing, stalling and skirting around the truth like he had done for the past few years?
He breathed in and out, silently counting down from five, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say.
“Listen, I need to tell you something, something I should have told you a long time ago actually.”
“I’m listening.” Dream answered, leaning forward, looking worried.
“I’m trans” he raised his hand to stop any question when he saw Dream open his mouth, “Wait, let me finish, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep going if I stop now. I’m sorry, I never told you, I started transitioning when I was like 18 and I, uh, when I first met you, my voice was already starting to get deeper, then I went through the whole process without any of you really knowing and by the time you guys saw me I pretty much looked like myself now.”
“Wow, I’m... I would have never guessed.” Dream looked lost, probably trying to remember his first interactions with George.
“Yeah that was kinda the whole point Dream.”
“You know that doesn’t change anything for me right? To me you’ve always been George, and you’ll always be George, you’re my best friend, and I love you.” Dream voice contained nothing but sincerity and he was smiling gently at George.
George’s heart ached, in the best way possible, as he smiled back. He had said nothing for literal years, all for nothing? He examined Dream’s face closely, the man still looked surprised but his face held no disgust, no ill intent, he was nothing but his usual self, kind words and sweet smile, his best friend.
“Well that’s underwhelming, you could have at least called me a couple of slurs, now I feel dumb not telling you earlier.” George joked, still not quite believing it had gone so well. He discreetly pinched himself, just checking he was awake and this wasn’t some stupid dream his brain had made up.
Dream laughed sympathetically, “Sorry, we can have a do-over if you want?”
George shook his head and chuckled freely, letting his head rest against the back of his chair as he slid down a little bit, tension leaving him. His cat moved up to play with the strings of his hoodie that the movement had made dangle in front of the feline’s face and George pet him, calming him down slightly, the cat settling back on his chest.
“That’s why my parents hate me, because I’m trans, they never fully accepted it.” George spoke quietly.
“Well like I said before, I think they’re assholes, and I don’t think they deserve you George.”
With those few words George’s walls broke down and the words finally came spilling out.
He told Dream everything: his coming out at 16, the screaming matches in his childhood house, the fateful night where his father had sent him crashing against the kitchen counter, when he had finally moved out, when he had cried in the hospital waking up from his top surgery desperately alone, no one there to hold his hand, but still happy and free, when he had gotten his first flat and bought a pride flag to celebrate, tacking it to his bedroom wall as the biggest fuck you to the universe, when his family came to visit, his parents comments and how he had cried after washing the mugs they used to drink tea together, when he went outside today and stumbled upon the London Pride and the tangible happiness in the air, the community. He spoke until his mouth felt dry and he felt empty yet light, the burden of untold words, hidden stories finally dissipating.
Dream had mostly let him speak, only intervening a couple of time, promising he would come kick his parents’ asses whenever they were mentioned, smiling at fond memories, and mouth twisting, as if he was pained himself, at the worst ones, or even just quietly nodding along, silently seeming to say “I’m here, go on, I’ll listen to you”.
George had probably never felt as grateful as he did right now.
“Well, I think ‘Fuck your family’ sums this up.” Dream said, “I’m sorry you went through this, you deserve better than them.”
George smiled at his friend’s protectiveness but cringed slightly at the word he used. “They’re my parents but they’re not family, I-I don’t have a family.”
“That’s not true” Dream spoke up. “You have me , you have Sapnap, you have Bad, Quackity, Karl, and so so many more. We love you like family, it doesn’t matter if we don’t share the same blood, we love you just the same George. I will always be there for you, fuck, I would help you bury a body if you asked me George. I want you to be happy... ‘cause that’s what makes me happy too.” He was slightly out of breath after his short monologue, voice passionate. His words had rang true to George’s ears.
George smiled, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, “You’re so dumb, making emotional speeches and everything.”
“Aw I love you too Georgie.” Dream replied, smiling cheekily, eyes also suspiciously wet.
The tears were rolling down George’s face now, leaving hot trails on his cheeks, he wiped them away before they could land on his cat, who was looking up at him curiously, purring comfortably in his laps.
“Thank you, really. If anyone, I’m glad it’s you that I told first.” George sniffled quietly.
“Hey, who’s getting emotional now!” Dream said, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands to try and stop his own tears.
“Shut up, we look like idiots right now.”
“I love you George.”
“I love you too.”