Chapter Text
Technoblade had miraculously finished the entire report by the time Tommy tried to persuade Ranboo into staying for dinner, and Tubbo had immediately gone to transcribe it on the dubbed 'family PC' for printing, notably putting Ranboo's name first.
"Come on man, stay for dinner, My dad's probably made enough to feed an army, come on. Come on man, you know you want too, big guy. Just stay for dinner."
"...You know, I really shouldn't, staying for dinner goes against my... uh, morals. And my parents don't know your parents-"
"Oh, sure they do!" Wilbur interrupted pleasantly, "Everyone in town knows Philza Minecraft!"
Ranboo blinked. "Your dad's the Philza Minecraft?"
"Um, yeah, man, you didn't know?" Tommy frowned, "I could have sworn I told you last week..."
"Tommy, the first time I spoke to you was this afternoon when you forced me into your van," Ranboo reminded, furrowing his brows in confusion.
"Oh. Huh, I guess you're right. I think I said it to Purpled, not you. Whatever, you know now," Tommy shrugged lazily, "Anyways, you're staying over for dinner now, yeah?"
"Probably..." He trailed off, noticing how Tubbo's head immediately snapped to stare at him. "...Not. I'm sorry. I really should go home now, it's pretty late,"
"It's 7," Technoblade deadpanned.
"Uh, you know what they say! Nothing good happens after 7 PM," Ranboo grinned widely, though he was sure it looked more like a grimace than anything, "Devils' hour, and stuff, yeah... uh, can I go now?"
"Aw," Tubbo frowned, standing up- Ranboo would have been concerned if he hadn't noticed the printed report in hand- "Here you go, boss man. See you at lunch tomorrow, yeah?"
"We have the same lunch period?" Ranboo questioned, taking the papers and placing them in his folder, "I never knew that..."
"Yeah, I thought you didn't," Tubbo replied, "Off you go."
"B- uh, bye?"
"BYE!" The peculiar family chorused back, and Ranboo was left alone, right outside their door. Just as he was about to walk away, though, the front door slammed open once more.
"Bring your keytar to school tomorrow, boss man! Don't forget, okay?"
Against his better judgement, he nodded.
***
And now, here he was, in front of his locker, being tormented by none other than- you guessed it! Tommy and Tubbo. The two were exceptionally clingy, even though Ranboo had quite literally met them yesterday. He resolved to calling the both of them the 'clingy duo'.
"Play us a tune, big R," Tommy encouraged, "Your keytar's fuckin' giant, by the way."
"Uh, yeah. My arms are long," Ranboo explained half-heartedly, "Not now. Too many people."
"Too many people my ass!" Tubbo scoffed, "How are you gonna play in the stadiums if this is what you call 'too many people'?"
"Stadium?!" Ranboo yelped, "Nevermind, I want out-"
"No, you can get in, but you can't get out, dude, didn't you read the contract?" Tommy rolled his eyes, "That's why they all call me Tommy Innit. You can't Tommy Out-it."
"No one calls you Tommy Innit." Ranboo scoffed, "And I never signed a contract!"
"You basically kinda did by auditioning," Tubbo grinned, "But whatever. You're in our emo, punk-rock type band whether you like it or not... and I know you like it. Or, at least, you like me, right?"
"Uh..."
"Yeah, we know you like Tubbo, he's basically your new best friend now," Tommy rolled his eyes, "You can't hide it. Soon enough, you'll go around calling him your brother, or something!"
"Oh, you meant platonically," Ranboo let out a deep sigh of relief, "Right. Right. Uh, can we at least wait until later? After school, or something?"
"Yeah, I was planning to go to Tommy's, anyway!" Tubbo smiled, "Right, Tommy?"
"Don't even need to ask, you already have your own plate and everything, man," Tommy laughed, ruffling the shorter's hair good-naturedly. The smile faded away just as quick as it came when Tommy craned his neck up to face Ranboo, a scowl replacing it. "Anyways. Phil bought you a cup and plate and shit, too, so you're staying over for dinner tonight. Wil got your parent's number from the registrar, too, so you can't use them as an excuse- your mum said yes, by the way, don't worry."
"Oh," Ranboo said eloquently.
"Phil tends to adopt people like that, dude, don't be so shocked," Tubbo consoled, "It happened to me, too. But, hey, Phil sent a photo of your new placemat and plates and shit to the family group chat, they look cool."
"Family group chat?"
"Stop asking so many questions," Tommy groaned, "But yeah, he sent them- wait, let me get your number so I can add you to it."
"Uh, how do you know I can be added? What if I have an android?"
"Oh. We can use Discord, then, don't worry," Tommy remedied easily. "Jokes aside, man, we all really do like you. We'd love to get to know you better."
Jesus. There was no escaping this family, they were the unstoppable force to Ranboo's easily movable object.
With a sigh, Ranboo handed his phone over. "I was just going by a hypothetical. Here's my phone, add your numbers in. I'll message you later."
He pretended he wasn't flustered by Tubbo's hand grazing his as he grabbed the phone from him.