Chapter Text
After a second she shook herself and went inside. It felt like she was about to get scolded from her parents. Having never felt that before, she decided she wasn’t fond of it.
When she got in, Starfire tackled her in a hug, which Raven was expecting so managed to stay upright, and even return. “Oh, friend Raven, how worried we were. We were so afraid for you! It is good to see you unharmed!”
“It’s good to see you too, Starfire.” Raven patted her back. Star, for once, took the hint to let go.
Explaining everything to the Titans took a while, and she still left out some of her struggles. Shame flooded her when trying to figure out how to say that. “We got to the island,” she trailed off, unsure of how to continue.
“Then we got attacked,” Beast Boy picked up, finding something big to explain away her silence. “Well, first we talked, and ate, then Slade attacked us.” Robin, as usual, just about went rabid, but Starfire touched his wrist clearly still listening, and he calmed a bit.
“Anyway, I ended up biting him in half, and given his powers, he survived, but fled.” BB continued, and both he and Raven thought of another enemy they couldn’t defeat, only fight back.
“Then Aqualad showed up, and we went and checked out a huge underwater volcano that was more than 100,000 square miles, only it didn’t end up mattering because we couldn’t get far enough down to actually reach it without Raven’s dive suit puncturing and she was almost crushed by the pressure.”
Here Raven picked up again, having once again regained her equilibrium. She explained about the cave, and how once more Slade attacked them. “He poisoned BB, as you know, and I immolated him.” She shrugged.
“But he’s not truly dead, correct?” Starfire spoke up.
Everyone looked surprised, well, everyone outside of Robin, always one for paranoia. “If he survived the previous fatal encounters would he not be able to survive this?”
Raven paused, and thought about it. That would mean putting dust back into the form of a human. It was by no means impossible for her father and he knew Slade would be a weakness for the Titans over any other villain.
“She’s right.” Robin spoke, “Slade’s been known to survive a lot and it’d be foolish to let down our guard now.”
To Robin’s surprise, as Cy was about to object, Raven nodded. “You’re right. Trigon knows Slade is a weak point for us,” She looked away from Robin, looking at the others in turn. “That we have history, and that Slade knows us better than any other minion he could make or find.” Here she did glance at Robin, but didn’t linger. “The mask and dust were gone, but I thought it was just the wind. He’s likely being rebuilt somewhere.”
“Okay, so Slade is out of commission.” Cy spoke up. “Why do we have a little dude running around the tower that doesn’t speak English? Star had to stay behind yesterday so she could do her weird translator forehead kiss thing.”
Raven winced, and explained that she didn’t realize she’d been auto-translating, as well as his powers. She then told them how she’d found him after she zoned out and started flying.
She explained that the kid had been given the shirt for his birthday and that there was no way it was a coincidence. Then she explained about his Dad, and his powers, before explaining that she’d dropped him off with Cyborg.
“Why did you not confide in us, Raven? Are we not also your friends?” Star asked, indicating to herself and Robin. She asked BB for the Dagger, and explained exactly what her plans were.
“You have to understand how much riskier the Mirror is.” She said, preemptively defending herself. “Especially since we need to finish this before that planet gets through to this dimension, which will be well before Trigon himself can come through.”
“But, I talked some sense into her, and we’re still attempting to use the Mirror.” BB said, covering for her.
“Which I still need to retrieve with BB. First though, there’s thing I’ll need while I do the ritual to communicate.” At their surprised looks she explained how it’d never been moved and if she wanted to take it out of the cave she had to ‘speak’ to the Mirror. She didn’t mention that she knew she was likely not allowed to go out on her own for a while.
“While that happens, I’ll track Slade.” Robin said, focused as always. “Starfire, see if you can figure out what to do with the kid, keep him feeling safe. Cyborg, see if you can’t hunt down more info on this kid’s family.”
And with that they set off.
As she portalled them to the face of the cave, she stopped him. “Wait,” she said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He turned towards her, concerned.
“Um…” she trailed off, fidgeting. If there was something Raven was absolutely not, it was a fidgeter.
“What’s up?” He said, trying to be understanding. She grabbed her waist, a protective gesture. How much of a right did she have to ask anything of him?
“Can we, can we just sit here for a minute?” She’d barely finished speaking when he had plopped down. She joined him, stiltedly, sitting cross-legged and he rubbed her back. A shiver ran through her at how utterly lucky she was that he always seemed to know exactly what she needed.
She could feel him bursting with curiosity, but seeing how hard it had been for her to talk he simply waited. She had to do this right, or she’d lash out again.
“I’m sorry.” She said after a second, all other words escaping her. She felt him contemplate his next course of action before asking why. “It hurts, and I’m less alone than ever been and I don’t have any reason to feel so pathetic, and if I’m not carefully we’re both going to go down in flames.”
Coward. Weakling. Holding up the mission because you can’t control your pathetic feelings. Before he could respond she pulled his trademark move of abruptly changing demeanor. “Sorry, I’m better.” She moved to get up but he put a hand on her knee, effectively stopping her.
He looked at her, apparently also unable to find words for once, but that didn’t stop him from seeming to gaze straight into her soul. She looked away, but didn’t try to flee again.
After a moment, he spoke. “Of all the things I’d like you to pick up from me- laughing more, video games, shapeshifting, more willingness to play stankball,” he teased gently. “I never, never wanted you to pick up the faking your emotions. At least you never pretended to be fine when you weren’t.”
Her jaw dropped at how easily he’d picked her apart, how precisely and succinctly he’d cut this game short.
“I just remembered something. That’s all.” She said, but he wasn’t buying it.
“Oh?”
“Yeah.” He actually managed to outwait her for once, and she vowed when she got home she’d get better at controlling her emotions again, maybe without having to restrain them this time.
“I just remembered that…” if she said this, he was going to disagree and was it really worth this argument? She sighed. Suddenly, she had an idea.
“You trust me?” She asked and watched as he nodded, warily. Turning towards him, she put a hand on his forehead. Having never done this before, she didn’t realize how strong the emotions would be and they flooded past her safeguards uncontrolled.
Suddenly he was flooded with suffocating hopelessness, bordering on physically oppressing. He felt the loneliness no amount of human contact could cure, but the instinctual need to reach out and claim more, hoping that would help; knowing it wouldn’t. The pain of knowing that you Were Bad And Not Allowed To Forget. The guilt and comfort of that guilt, of knowing you just had an equilibrium to return to. And right before an eternity ended (about 4 seconds), he felt a cold feeling that all of it was right, that this oppression was what was meant to be, and that this was all he deserved.
Finally, Raven regained control of herself and yanked her hand back. They both just laid there, gasping, and when she’d gained some breath back, she apologized profusely.
“I should’ve safeguarded it better, I won’t do it again, I’m sorry.” She paused. Then, “How much did you see?”
He looked at her and said, “Deserving the guilt you have, while getting comfort from it, no wonder it’s so tough to leave.” She mentally swore.
“Hey,” he said, making sure he kept her attention from spiraling. “You’ve hurt people. You’ve also been hurt.” Too drained to try and figure out what he where he was going she just looked at him.
Seeing she wasn’t going to respond he looked at her. “You said, as least as much as you’ve hurt others right?” Slowly, she nodded. “Well, let’s see.” He said scooting over towards her. “You’re mother found, made, or otherwise got a hold of a Dagger that only existed to kill you. Your father is just, just the worst. The monks never let you really feel-”
“They had good reason-” she cut in unable to be silent any longer.
He waived her off, “But it still hurt you which is the point. And you were raised believing you were supposed to kill everyone.”
“I am,” she said, unsure of why this was irritating her in such a way.
“Right, unless we can stop it,” he said, without missing a beat, but subtly made sure she nodded as he continued. “And you always put up with feeling left out by basically everyone and,” he shifted, “being insulted by me, especially.” They both thought back to the Malchior incident.
“Anyway, point is, you’ve been hurt. A lot. I think you’re even with your imagined sins. Come on, we should get the Mirror and get back.”
“Wait. Remember not to look.” She said putting on her own goggles and carrying his. Flying down, they quickly landed and she handed him his pair, and started laying out the candles and incense, drawing a circle in chalk. She motioned for him to sit in the circle and not speak.
Eventually, she reached into her bag, and retrieved a scroll. As she began reading, BB gathered that it was decidedly not in English. Also at least a thousand years old. The only English words were some word that was probably derived from apocalypse, (or the other way around, he mused), and the names of some people or places.
They felt what could only be described as a cold satin cloth, running over them, feeling them, judging them. There was a small warmth, satisfaction, and a feeling of completion, and she turned to him. “We’ll be allowed to move it, so long as we returned it when we’re done.”
“It’ll help us against Trigon?” BB confirmed. She nodded, and, standing she grabbed the Mirror and she opened a portal, that they carried through to her room.
“Okay,” she said, going into her closet and pulling out a very expensive-looking cloth. “Put this over the Mirror, and then face it towards the wall.” After that was done, they removed their goggles and checked in with the others.
Robin had returned and Cyborg had retrieved several boxes of supplies from their ‘equipment room’, where various tech things, magical items, and gadgets were there for the various Titans to implement when they had time.
“Okay,” Raven said, taking charge. “Cyborg, Starfire, try to find a picture of Trigon. It should work just as well. Robin, keep tracking Slade. I’ll see if I can’t figure out a background to shove him into. BB, you’re on babysitting.”
After a while Cyborg spoke. “Raven there’s no pictures of Trigon in any mythology online, and nothing I could conjure up based on him.”
“I, too, have been unable to find the photographs or paintings in the books of lore.” Star spoke, moving easily 500 pounds of books gently out of the way.
Raven nodded, knowing it’d’ve been a long shot. Luckily, she had an idea. “While I’m doing that,” she said, “Cyborg, you got the kid. BB, I need your help.”
Looking up, BB waited until Cy had explained what was going on to the kid, then went over to Raven. “My room.” She said. The other three looked skeptical; she looked unimpressed. They went back to work.
“What’s up?” He asked, once, they’d gotten to her room. The door shut and she set up a nook in one corner of her room.
“I need you to guard me again. Can you do that?” She asked. He nodded, solemnly.
“I know where we can find a picture of him.” She said. “I’ll need to go back to Azeroth. It should only take about 10 minutes.”
“I’m coming too.”
“No way,” she said, continuing before he could interject, “I can do this fast but I can’t watch to make sure we’re both teleported back.” He looked unhappy, but nodded.
“Thank you,” she said, sincerely. “I’ll be back soon.” Setting up the portal, she went through it once more, and quickly portalled straight to her mother’s room. Knowing that this time she was truly on a time limit, she quickly found what she was looking for and, glancing around, made sure there was nothing else to take.
Upon returning, She destroyed the portal, not wanting to allow any creatures into the tower. Opening the journal she found the history of her mother, including the Cult of Trigon, and what few pictures of him that had ever been taken.
“Got it,” she said, holding it out, along with his goggles. “We stick this picture in. The picture should change so he’s no longer in it. We take it out, burn it, and put in a new picture up in the mirror frame as the background.”
As hoped for, Trigon disappeared from the picture, which was quickly burned. Covering up the Mirror, she looked at him. “Now he’s stuck there. But we need to figure out a place to send him that will destroy him.”
“Can’t we just leave him there?” He asked.
She shook her head. “For one thing the Mirror would kill us, for another thing, leaving him alive leaves a chance that sometime in the future, someone accidentally releases him.”
“What if we put him in the bottom of the sea?” Beast Boy asked, thinking back to when he almost lost her. “That’d be fast enough that he wouldn’t be able to teleport away, right?”
She thought about it. “It should work. But we’d need to get a picture.”
“Come with me.” He said, darting into his room. Sitting at his desktop, he pulled up a website. “Rovers are a lot more durable than scuba gear,” he said. “This would instantly crush any living being.” A livestream of infrared was playing.
“Perfect.” She said.
“This feels… anti-climactic,” BB said, but it wasn’t a little kid being disappointed, it was very much a wary caution.
“Only one way to find out,” said Raven, before getting Cyborg. He pulled up a projector while Raven gave him BB’s goggles. The two boys traded spaces and entered Cy, her room before projecting the livestream straight into the Mirror.
After a second, he asked, “Is it working?” The mirror flashed a white light and then went still.
“It did now.” Raven said, removing her goggles. “Beast Boy and I need to return the Mirror ASAP. We’ll be back shortly. For now, you should go tell the others.”
After the he had left, she went out to get BB. After filling him in she asked. “We ready?” Soon they’d returned the Mirror and were home before dinner, which was actually breakfast.
As it was Robin and Beast Boy were the only ones who didn’t understand the little boy, it was a somewhat awkward dinner.
As Starfire sat next to him and kept him occupied, Cyborg filled them in. “Turns out his dad really hadn’t ever touched drink. After he put his kid to bed, he overestimated his tolerance based on when he was a dumb college kid. He went into a coma, and they couldn’t save him.”
“I hate to say it, but that might be for the best.” Robin said. Everyone gawked at him. “This kid needs protection and people who are actually prepared to do that. I reached out to a monastery that specializes in kids with powers. They say they’ll take him if everyone’s okay with it.”
“Well, little dude can’t stay here, and Robin’s right. He can’t go home. I guess I’ll run it past him later and see what he says?”
They nodded, and after dinner, they left to give the two some space. “You think Cyborg was the right call?” Robin asked, as everyone else walked to their rooms.
“He’s good with kids, but he also knows what it’s like to have home ripped violently from you. I don’t think any of us quite understand being forced away from normal quite so well.” Raven responded.
It took a while, a big heart to heart, and several not-so-quiet tears, but eventually the kid understood that Daddy wasn’t coming home but he’d go live with some nice people.
Getting him there was a bit trickier, since she didn’t want to risk teleporting someone so young again so soon, so they all went together. The trip, thankfully, passed without incident.
After that things pretty much just went back to normal. It was remarkably uneventful. Raven still had a journey to go on, though much less ‘remarkable’ than her previous adventure. It would still take time to get used to her new powers, growing daily, her friends reaction to her new self, and her ability to interact now.
A lifetime of self-loathing- done simply to keep a dark side in check- didn’t simply vanish, nor did the hopelessness, illogical though it now was.
On top of the self-loathing, she would have to start working on controlling her emotions more, not liking the inability to do so. She would need to learn a more foolproof way to keep from lashing out. She had her work cut out for her, but in the end, her realization brought hope enough for the whole team.
“I guess, in the end, there really is no end; just new beginnings.”