Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A sword came crashing down against his own. 

The boy grunted, the swing much harder than he was used to. It caught him off guard. But still, he managed to push it off, ducking and rolling to the side when it swung again. 

“Exactly, young Lord. Precise hits.” 

To the boy, the instructor's words went into one ear and flowed out of the other. He’s caught his mind wandering more than once in various directions throughout the lesson. It didn’t help that his friend’s sword had been full of excitement that day.

Just a few days before, the King of Khaenri’ah announced that there was to be another expedition past the kingdom’s walls. They had left just the day before. 

Though the boy didn’t expect much to come from the journey, he kept his pessimism to himself. The image of the noble yesterday morning didn’t leave him, even as the boy had to counter every hit in order not to have a finger accidentally cut off. 

Even as the horses passed through the gates, the noble couldn’t will his eyes to leave the group of brave, probably idiotic, men. It wouldn’t be his friend if he didn’t constantly have his wish of leaving the kingdom practically tattooed on his forehead. 

And it wouldn’t be the boy if he didn’t know that the only light he’d need to live in this dark cavern was the same light he wished would never leave the noble's eyes. 

Though that light was a little too excited in the moment of present, and for all the care that the boy had for the noble, he really wished that he could contain his excitement just a bit. 

“Dobael, plant your feet. Hold your ground! You can’t expect to take on strong opponents if you’re off balance.” 

The boy was made of stone — why should plants be necessary? 

He turned his focus back to the attacking opponent, raw exasperation flooding his limbs once again. The noble over the course of a month has grown frighteningly agile. So much so that if the boy kept daydreaming in the middle of the lesson he probably would lose a digit. 

“Center yourself, Dobael!”

The boy took a deep breath. 

His friend’s eyes turned from the instructor to him, noticing for the first time that day, probably,  how grumpy the boy was. 

“Can we take a break? I’m extremely parched. The servants definitely forgot to give me my morning glass of water.” 

The instructor gave his own sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine. We’ll end early today. But remember that you aren’t allowed to leave the castle. Those thieves have been stealing food from merchants closer and closer to the centre of the city. I would be beheaded if you were to get hurt by them during your lesson time.” 

“And his true colour shine once again. You care more about saving your own skin  than the true safety of your noble lord!” 

“I’m only an honest man,” the instructor teased as he gathered the training swords from the two. 

As they left the training room, the noble broke into an invigorated sprint, seizing the boy’s wrist with no less enthusiasm than he had during the lesson. 

The boy didn’t even have time to cry out before he was pulled to his friends side. The noble took them down the usual route they took to the festival, streamers being set up around the palace for the slightly elevated celebration. 

“Didn’t the instructor say to stay inside the palace?” The boy asked when his panting friend brought them to a stop near the servant exits, peeking his head around the corner for any watchful eyes. 

“Bubkis.” 

“Of course.” 

The noble brought his head back to face the boy. He smiled. 

“You enjoy my shenanigans.” 

“Do I?” The boy responded. “How do you know for sure I’m not just your friend because of convenience? This could all be part of my elaborate plan to murder and rob you.” 

“A plan years in the making of course.” 

“Obviously,” the boy said, trying to fight a grin from appearing on his face. The noble eyed him thoughtfully, occasional noises catching his attention. Never for long though. 

“We’ve no need to worry about some random thief. I’ll protect you with my amazing sword fighter skills.” 

“You still think you’re the prince of some fairytale.” 

That caught the noble’s attention fully.

“What’s wrong with that?” 

The boy shrugged. “Nothing. It’s just interesting. The snotty, dumb, little boy I met long ago was really just a dreamer in disguise.” 

“‘Dreamer in disguise’? Odd phrase.” 

“ True phrase,” the boy corrected. “Also two servants approaching on your left.” 

The noble barely had time to mouth a terrified ‘ what!?’ before turning around to see two men walking down the hallway, baskets in both of their hands— probably about to add to the food reserves and “accidentally” get caught in the crowds of the festivals. 

“Act natural, hero.” 

There was one thing the boy should have already known about his friend, which is coincidentally one thing that the boy learned that very moment. If his friend could save the entire kingdom with his ability to “act natural”, the only thing he’d accomplish would be sending the kingdom further into the abyss. 

The noble burst out with laughter that had the exact same amount of authenticity as the boy had patience for his friend, which, mind you, in that moment, was none. 

Two heads snapped over to where the friends were semi-hiding, all stealth tactics officially flying out the window. 

“And where do you two plan on going?” Said one of the men with a thick accent. 

“What’s it to you?” The boy responded plainly. 

“We just want to make sure you aren’t shirking your responsibilities on to some poor unsuspecting souls.” 

“You mean like you two?” 

The man speaking pouted his lips, narrowing his eyes at the boy. “A starglitter and this didn’t happen.” 

“I don’t want your money.” 

“Where are you lads going, anyway?” The man's friend spoke up.

“The festival.” 

The man chewed his lip in consideration. 

“We won’t tell if you won’t.”

“I didn’t see a thing.”

“Pleasure doing business with you.”

The two men walked by without another word, heading into the kitchens and out the door to the gardens. 

The noble stood there staring, mouth a bit ajar. “Does that happen often to you?” 

“Refusing people’s money?” 

“No, I mean, just… never mind, let's go.” 

He walked past the boy, taking the same path that the two men did just moments before. 

As they exited the palace, the boy noticed his friend staring at him. That was something that had changed ever since the noble had shown him how to use khemia. The boy would catch his friend’s eyes on him out of the corner of his eye, though when the boy would turn to face him, he looked away. It annoyed the boy whenever he looked away. If he was so keen to look at the boy, wouldn’t he keep a fixed gaze even if he was caught? 

Even at that moment, as the two boys were trekking through the bloomless gardens, the boy would try to catch his friend’s eyes, and all the noble would do was look away. It was weird . But the boy had to admit, he didn’t particularly mind the idea. 

Back then, he used to get stared at all the time. The boy used to wish he was invisible. Used to wish that he wouldn’t feel like the whole world had him under its scrutinizing gaze.

The noble, on the other hand, looked at him carefully. Not with malice, not with caution. When their eyes did meet, for split seconds at a time, it was like the boy was looking into wonder filled eyes. And he almost liked the idea that the noble had that special light directed at him.

The same friend that had dreams as big as kingdoms beyond, had looked at him with that same fascination. 

The boy, almost unknowingly, reached his hand out to grab the noble’s wrist lightly. At that point, they were right behind the gates, ready to join the gathering masses in the streets. 

The noble jumped at the contact, even though a light grab of the wrist between them was about as normal as breakfast in the morning. 

The boy knew he didn’t have the prettiest of smiles. His were unnatural and awkward, like he was only pulling his lips back instead of having one of those bright grins that the noble had. But the boy curled his lips up anyway— unsure and almost nervous. 

The smile spread to his friend, who jumped into the crowd, pulling them both into the still-forming line for the first dances of the evening. 

Just as the first strings were about to play though, a loud horn broke through the party’s ambience. 

It was distant. Almost as if it never happened. The boy looked suspiciously to where it could have come from but couldn’t place exactly where. 

He was about to turn to his friend and ask if he heard it as well, before a dozen nearby horns sounded off. Louder, clearer, and with the urgent song that meant they needed the attention of the king. 

The crowd quieted to try and catch sight of what was going on, murmurs erupting through the streets where there should have been lively tunes. 

The boy heard the horses coming before he could actually see them. About a half dozen of them raced through the roads as the crowd struggled to clear a path before being trampled. The boy felt panic well up inside his stomach as they approached where he and the noble were. 

He slid his hand down from his friend’s wrist to his friend’s  fingers, where he squeezed all his worry into where they met. The noble understood immediately what was happening and did the same, squeezing back comforts and his own worries.

And peeking up from the crowd was the cavalry captain, a worn piece of blue fabric in the hand he held high above his head, trailing meters behind him and the horse. 

The noble’s breath hitched when he saw the cloth and the boy couldn’t blame his friend. The blue fabric was a staple of the exploring expeditions and they were calling for an emergency audience with the king. 

That meant one of two things. 

One, the most likely scenario - the shadows found a way to breach the kingdom's defenses and were on their way to ravage the kingdom as they stood there, but the boy kept his ears perked and he couldn’t hear the horns that signaled the kingdoms evacuation, something that all of Khaenri’ah had been preparing for since they landed on the edge of the abyss. 

Or two….

The boy and the noble had both the advantage and disadvantage of being smaller than most of the crowd. Yes, it was harder to see and harder to hear when a bunch of taller adults were murmuring above you, but they could always push their way through the dense mass of bodies with little more than a sorry and a vanishing act. 

His friend pulled them towards the kingdom’s main square in a hurry, where they were trying to be the first ones to hear what exactly the king would rule on his balcony 

The boy felt the tug on his hand, the sweat and dirt rubbing off the bodies he was pushing past, tired and eager for a chance to unwind after a long day’s worth of work. 

And suddenly, the boy could hear the whinnying of horses, right under the palace balcony used to address the public - normally only used to announce what the annual festival would be in celebration of. 

Two servants appeared on the balcony. The murmuring in the crowd increased, until with another horn, the King himself materialized. 

The crowd of thousands hushed in the king's presence, looking attentively — only some reverently. 

If the boy were to describe him, seeing this only-heard-of King up until that moment, he would say, he was rather underwhelmed. 

As per Khaenri’ahn tradition, the royal family was to remain largely private. No one knows what they look like, except for the ruling monarch. No one knows even what the family consists of - what gender the consort is, how many children there are past a single heir, and especially their identities. 

The boy had heard of legends surrounding why it was so. 

The royal family were the only ones untainted by filth, it allowed the family to rule modestly and with humility, even tales and myths about the custom, saying that the first rulers of the dynasty had walked backwards from the sun, that the kingdom was carved out of the eclipse's shadow, that when the sun had peeked out from behind the moon once again the citizens stared at the wrestling of celestial bodies for attention, the glare of the returning star burning into their irises, blinding the budding kingdom momentarily, and that when they could see once more, they gazed only at the still standing silhouettes of the family, too blinded by foolish whims to gaze at the members once more.

And though that tale was the most popular in the kingdom, the boy had one a little more loved. 

One night decades ago, when the boy was cleaning through his master’s book shelves, he stumbled across old journals and texts that were who knows how old. They were interesting to read, if the boy was being kind, but in between the plain studies and repetitious accounts of daily life — life that, to the boy, didn’t seem to advance much since it was originally written — were retellings of lore and some stories.

The journal seemed to have been written right after Khaenri’ah’s destruction, full of musings and histories, like it was a desperate attempt for hope in a crisis, but the thing that stuck out the most to the boy were the stories of the royal family. Writings about how, picking up the pieces of the last queen, the then ruling king used his great power to protect the people of Khaenri’ah as the kingdom rebuilt itself in the Cavern.

The journal wasn’t by any means detailed, but it did say that the King, and the rest of the bloodline by extension (and the writer’s theory), were the only ones who retained any of the power that was once known to the Eclipse dynasty. 

But as the boy looked at the King, he realized that the powerful, cunning image of the ruler he’d made in his mind was disappointed by reality. 

The King was gaunt and sunken. The boy managed to catch the small tremors in his hands even from such a large distance away. The noble looked a little surprised as well. The rest of the kingdom was in agreement, as the whispering and murmurs grew louder when the King was in sight.

The first thing he did was raise his hand against the crowd, gesturing for them to stop talking, and the mass of people listened, eager to hear what exactly was happening. 

The man on the horse rose the blue fabric up to the balcony. 

“Your Majesty! The expedition squad has returned!” 

There was a collective release of tension in the crowd. Even if there were any losses, the crowd breathed a little easier. Most of the squad, maybe even all of them, had survived the treacherous journey outside of Khaenri'ah's walls. 

“What’s the urgency then?” The King had said. His voice was raw… and tired. Firm but weak. The boy and the rest of Khaenri’ah watched on with eager eyes. 

“Well… your highness-” 

His voice broke in the middle of the word when more horses ran in from the end of the street. 

Shocked whispers carried over to the boy's ears but the excitement caused the crowd to shift, blocking both his and the noble’s view of what was going on. 

The people closed in, voices coated in panic, apprehension, shock, and some even in celebration. The two friends were pushed back into the middle of the crowd. 

The boy and the noble moved against the grain, squeezing through the adults on their way to the front of the crowd.

The two were jostled around before finally breaking through. The boy reached the front first, and turned around to help the noble through. But the noble’s eyes caught sight of something and widened two fold. 

The boy, confused, followed his gaze before he saw it too. 

He was so shocked, he dropped the arm that he was holding onto. 

The King himself looked caught off guard, clearly forgetting his place in front of thousands of people. 

“QUIET!” He had finally shouted after a few moments. 

The first man spoke up again.

“Your majesty, as you can see. We didn’t come back alone.” 

In the middle of the square, on horseback, was a knight. 

He didn’t belong to Khaenri’ah. His iron armor was covered in dents, coloring him the one with the brightest armor in the crowd, even though it shone dark crimson in the light of torches and mushrooms. 

The knight, clad in bloodied armor, unmounted his horse to face a crowd that had fallen completely silent in the shock. 

He slowly took a step forward, and with the addition of a footstep against the gravel, there had been a thousand more, the crowd shying away from wherever he tried to approach them. 

After a few experimental steps, he returned to face the King on his balcony, the Kingdom watching with a thousand more eyes. 

“Who are you?” Asked the King. 

And the knight raised his arms to his helmet. 

Beneath it was a beautiful face paired unnaturally with the wounded and dented armor. 

The boy’s eyes widened as the man began to speak. 

“I am the white knight of Mondstadt, and I’ve come to save your kingdom.”

...

Kaeya stood at the bottom of the steps leading up to the building. 

He supposed it was the moment of truth. 

He sighed, really not wanting to have to climb the amount of stairs before him with crutches, but considering he climbed a mountain in a worse condition…. 

No, he still didn’t want to do it. 

Albedo and him didn’t really get a lot of sleep last night. It was well past midnight that they returned to the funeral parlor but even then, they started talking and didn’t stop until sunrise. 

Kaeya made a point to glare at the alchemist as they approached the first steps, not a dark circle in sight. Not everyone was an alchemical creation who could turn off their need for bodily functions at will. 

After they fixed their, nothing short of pitiful, attempts at disguises, Zhongli gave them directions to Bubu Pharmacy. That was it really. He never clarified the next step they should take other than ‘head in the general direction to Dragonspine.’ They gave their brief goodbyes and there they were. Agonizingly creeping toward the pharmacy. 

“Do we even have to go?” 

“Kaeya, what did I just say?” 

Kaeya hated having his wounds tended to. Did he mention that? He never liked having to put all his scars under a looking glass for doctors to poke and prod at. He thought that Albedo would at least have a bit of sympathy... until he remembered that Albedo loved to be the one on the poking side of the looking glass. 

“Whatever happened to qualified Doctor Albedo, huh? Not actually as 'qualified' as you make yourself out to be?” 

He only got a roll of the eyes in response. “This man spent years at least honing and perfecting his craft of medicine. If there’s anyone who’s able to help with your injuries— properly— it would be him.” 

They made it up past the first level of stairs. Only one more section until they reach the main doors. 

“And you really think he can do something about my amnesia?” Kaeya asked a bit quieter. 

Albedo looked to him, eyes fixated on the half ponytail Kaeya had fashioned his hair into again. 

“I really hope so,” he murmured. Then he coughed. Kaeya zeroed in on the fist Albedo used to cover the cough. Do homuncu-whatever’s even need to cough? Does he have saliva? If he doesn’t need to pee— which Kaeya totally knows he doesn’t as he’s never seen Albedo clean out his chamber pot like the rest of the knights did on Upkeep days— then does he even sneeze? That looked like a fake cough. 

All of which, and more, prove themselves to be unhelpful thoughts as Kaeya went from halfway decently hobbling up the stone steps to looking closer at Albedo’s mouth. 

He dragged the crutches up but lost his balance, starting to fall forward but not having enough time to react.

Albedo though....

Albedo caught him right away, hands on his wrists and saving him a short distance away from the ground.

Now their faces were even closer, centimetres away, almost frozen in time, staring at each other while the rush of the fall depleted. 

Kaeya took the opportunity to really look at Albedo. Not at the diamond on the base of his neck or the mess of hair that somehow framed his face perfectly, but every single eyelash and eyebrow. His unblemished skin that upon closer inspection, he noticed has dips and uneven pores. 

He took his time gazing at Albedo’s face, everywhere but his eyes. 

The same ones that used to scare him. Empty eyes that put Lisa’s aloofness to shame. Arrogant and condescending eyes that…. Kaeya finally took a second glance at. 

He wondered why he could ever think of such eyes as devoid of life. 

He wondered why Albedo thought the same. 

Kaeya could practically see the racing thoughts on the inside. The inquisitive questions, the values of wonder, the— for Kaeya’s lack of better words— the life inside him. It took a conscious effort to tear his head away, looking at the open doors to the pharmacy. 

“Yes…” he said, willing his thoughts to slow down. “Let’s get this over with.” Albedo’s face looked like it was the exact opposite of his own apprehension about seeing this supposed healer. 

“Is the alcohol still on the table?” He asked. Albedo’s head snapped over to him, excitement still lingering. The corners of his mouth twitched upward. 

“I’ll consider it.” 

And after Albedo, Kaeya hobbled through the doorway. 

…

A man around their age greeted them at the front desk. He told them that a man named Baizhu would tend to them when he was done with a current patient. Around the two, the lobby was filled with people walking in and out, another attendant handing them herbs and ointments. 

The inside of the pharmacy was just as busy as the main city, Albedo observed. He was taking the scene in with an eager hunger that he usually felt when exploring new places. Every new experience reminded him of Kaeya’s old wish, of his lessons with Rhinedottr, of the passion he found in learning while studying in Sumeru.

Beside him, however, Kaeya’s face was hard-set, thumb absent-mindedly running along the side of his torso. A habit Albedo noticed before, but only recently connected to the feather-like scars that sat pale against his skin’s bronze. 

Albedo wanted to reach out a hand— to allay any worry that Kaeya might’ve housed, just as Kaeya had flippantly done for him inside the cabinet. 

It was only last night, yet it seemed a world away from where they were now. 

When Kaeya awoke that morning, Albedo thought he was almost… nice. 

Now, Albedo was never good at reading people. Listening to his own emotions wasn’t something he was good at, nevermind others. But Kaeya, he knew. 

Kaeya didn’t add the extra flourish to his voice as he usually did when speaking to someone he liked. He didn’t pepper in the flowery vocabulary. He didn’t tip-toe around any secrets that the person speaking would be close to finding out. He just… 

He just smiled.

At least he didn’t seem to be in a bad mood, considering all he found out yesterday. Considering all Albedo found out about himself. 

But at that moment, it was hard to tell that the enthusiasm from that morning was ever even there. 

Albedo opened his mouth to speak before he realized that the clerk they were talking to was pointing to a room down a hallway found behind a pair of circular doors. 

Kaeya was already five paces ahead of Albedo before he thought to move. 

They reconvened in a small room, half the size of the room they were staying in at the funeral parlor and much more barren, save for a small medicine table. 

The atmosphere didn’t seem to do much for Kaeya’s nerves. 

Hell, they didn’t exactly help with Albedo’s either. 

His thoughts wouldn’t stop running wild.

Could this be it? Could he really get Kaeya back? Scratch that, what would he do if Kaeya regained his memories. Would they reunite formally? Would Kaeya be angry at him for keeping the secret? Would he call off this whole expedition? 

Albedo stood frozen against a bare wall, trying to will his thoughts to be as still as his body. His eyes started to trace the design on Kaeya’s under-tunic—they decided it’d be better to walk around with less recognizable clothing, make do with what they had. 

The shirt was white, full of off-white swirls, a pigment that easily signaled wealth to anyone who was anyone in Mondstadt. Yet, Kaeya kept those patterns hidden by a simple waist-coat. Preferring to usually bare clothes dyed with simple hues of blue. It was stylish, yes, but the clothes alone didn’t make him stand too far apart from most Mondstadtians as the colour, apart from yellow, was one of the most easy to obtain. 

Then Albedo remembered that Kaeya liked to grab people’s attention with charisma alone. Let his features do the talking. It clearly worked with what networks Kaeya’s been able to establish and how often he’s seen sweet-talking any susceptible man or woman at Angel’s Share. 

His line of thought broke when he heard the click of a cane against wood. A few seconds later, Kaeya’s ears perked up as well, the door opening. 

“Kaeya Alberich, correct? The one with the burn, rash, and... sprained ankle, hmm?” 

Albedo’s eyes were overwhelmed by the amount of loud, clashing colours that had just entered the room. He couldn’t even pay full attention to the words spoken, eyes immediately drawn to the dendro vision on the person’s waist coat, then the hiss of a snake on their neck. 

“Yes. I take it you’re the doctor?” Kaeya answered. 

A sly smirk started to grow on the man’s face. He shrugged. “If that’s what you need. Herbal medicine has a great many uses but if need be I have other methods of healing afflicted ailments- or injuries in your case.” 

Albedo’s eyes rested on the ivory cane in Baizhu’s hand. The man appeared to take notice.

“I have a disease myself,” he said, twirling the cane in his grasp to show it off, just a bit. “Not contagious but not curable.” He squinted at the cane, as if he was only mildly annoyed with the prospect, not losing the drawl in his voice. “Quite ironic isn’t it? Thankfully, I have methods of keeping it at bay.” 

Kaeya’s interest was obviously piqued, eyebrows raised, looking up at the man from his seat. 

“Don’t worry. The injuries that you have are nothing much to worry about from first glance. I’ve dealt with much worse. It’s when illnesses wrap around the inside of a person and refuse to let go that anyone has to worry.” 

“Plus amnesia,” Kaeya said at the last second. Baizhu looked back at his notes. 

“Did you mention anything to Gui?” 

Kaeya shook his head. Albedo’s stomach lurched from the sudden words. 

So he was really going through with it. 

Albedo managed a small smile when Kaeya shot him a glance. 

“I wanted to see what kind of doctor you were. If you were credible enough.” 

Baizhu laughed softly, amused by the information. “And do I meet your standards?”

There was something…. Something off about the way they were talking with one another. Albedo didn’t necessarily like it. 

“I suppose there’s only one way to find out.” 

“And I suppose I have my work cut out for me then.” 

Kaeya eyed him as he watched the snake on the doctor’s neck whisper in his ear. Once the snake finished, the doctor’s eyes landed on Albedo. 

“Three measly injuries and a case of amnesia? You would think it was nothing much to a well renowned doctor such as yourself.” The usual flirtatious lilt that Kaeya liked to add to his voice returned in the conversation. Albedo watched the interaction, face numb, observant, unmoving. 

“Well, I hope I live up to the things you’ve heard about me.” Baizhu perfectly matched Kaeya’s tone and it lit some sort of fire in his one visible eye. 

Then the eye flicked to where Albedo was, then sitting, and the fire was doused, replaced by a cool sort of curiosity that was easy to recognize. Albedo knew it was probably the look he had on his face when he found a new willing experiment subject. 

“What should we start with?” Kaeya asked, looking back at Baizhu like Albedo wasn’t even in the room. 

Albedo’s fingers moved on their own, in the pockets of his shorts, unknowingly searching for something. 

“Well, I’ll begin with a few questions, first of all. Each about your injuries and your amnesia. Then I’ll do a quick check up. Check each of your healed wounds, see how they’re faring, and once that’s done I should have you all healed up by the end of the day.” 

Whatever his fingers were looking for, they were left unsatisfied by the empty pocket. Albedo tried the other side. 

“I’ll be able to walk normally?” 

Albedo’s fingers wrapped around a piece of paper. 

“We’ll see,” Baizhu said. 

Albedo’s eyes met Kaeya’s. 

Kaeya smiled wide. 

The letter crumpled. 

Albedo asked to step out as soon as he felt the letter within his pocket. 

He couldn’t help himself last night. It was too important of a letter to let go. If Kaeya was going to disregard it, then it was only reasonable for Albedo to scour between the lines for something useful. 

When he was in the hallway, he sighed, leaning against the wall. His hand met the letter in his pocket again. 

He could just unfold the piece of paper. The words aren’t gonna change, and Albedo can stop ripping himself apart trying to figure out just what happened after the Cataclysm — just why he’s gone. 

He crossed his arms, shoving the piece of paper back into his pocket when he heard creaking wood from the other side of the hallway. 

A child, probably around the age of four, stops midstep, arms wrapped around four glass bottles of what looked like milk in addition to the glass bottle that she was already drinking. 

The two frozen figures stared at each other for what was probably an uncomfortably long amount of time. Then the child turned completely around, waddling back into the room that she came from. 

Albedo, in turn, went back into his own room, catching Kaeya and Baizhu mid conversation.

… 

“So how long ago are you able to remember?” Dr. Baizhu asked him.

Kaeya looked down, almost watching his memories travel back all the way until the dead end. 

“I can’t remember anything before being adopted by my family. I think the first memory I really have is being sick and my father taking care of me. They never really said anything to me about what happened before that, only that I was part of their family then, which led me to believe that I lost my memory right after I was taken in. So anything until I was about thirteen is all gone.”

Baizhu raised his eyebrows, taking notes down on a piece of paper.

Albedo’s face was caught in a slight frown, hands rustling in his pocket as he sat down from his excursion. 

“And you’ve had normal memory since then?” 

Kaeya nodded, for some reason thinking of the examinations for the Knights of Favonius, studying late at night with Jean and Lisa and Diluc, being forced to recite the first ten pages of the Favonius handbook every few minutes. And he can still recite it to this day. 

What was held on the tip of his tongue, though, was the night Crepus had died. Normally he wouldn’t think twice about not being able to recall every detail of a single day, but that night was so–… Kaeya relived the moments every few hours in his head. It was hard to believe that he had whole hours in between that were blank. 

Lisa had told him it was probably something to do with blocking out a traumatic moment, but Kaeya didn’t necessarily believe that either. 

“Alright then. Do you think this sickness that you had affected your memory? Amnesia can occur in extreme cases of fever, trauma, or any sort of disease affecting the mind.” 

Kaeya heard another faint crumple of paper coming from where Albedo was sitting. He squinted his eyes at the man but Albedo wasn’t paying attention, instead starting at the blank wall across from his seat. 

“I… don’t know.” 

Baizhu hummed, smiling serenely. “That’s not too much a problem. I’ll do a proper check up. After seeing so many patients, you learn that injuries aren’t the only things that leave scars. If this sickness was the cause, I should be able to tell.” He gestured toward the medicine table. “We’ll have you lay down on the medicine table, if you wouldn’t mind.” 

Kaeya nodded, allowing Baizhu to assist him onto the wooden surface. 

He tightened his grip against the table when he moved wrong, pain shooting up and down his torso. 

“You don’t mind me checking your other injuries first, actually, do you?” At Kaeya’s nod, the doctor lifted up Kaeya’s shirt, eyes peering at the burn on his torso. The gaze wasn’t long, but it became more hard-set as the seconds ticked. “How long ago did you tell Gui you got these injuries?” 

It took Kaeya a moment to calculate. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, it feels like it's been weeks. But, counting the times the sun had gone down proves that the days were a lot less plentiful than he felt. 

“About five days,” he said, Baizhu lifting up Kaeya’s arm and rolling up the sleeves. Kaeya let out a sigh of relief when he found that the rash’s swelling had gone down, pain virtually non-existent. The cuts from the gravel were all healed too, scars barely present. 

But Baizhu’s face turned downward when he laid hands on Kaeya’s ankle, gently checking the swelling and the tenderness of the muscles. Kaeya winced a few times, wishing he was anywhere but there.

Yeah, okay the doctor’s hot. So what? Kaeya’s only human. He didn’t exactly mind the prospect of Baizhu’s hands feeling all over his body. But he forgot that the doctor is still a doctor, and doctors are all shit from the bottom of a particularly deep chamber pot.

Albedo only furthered the belief.

“Your body heals quite fast doesn’t it?” 

“How do you mean?” 

“You may have noticed already but the swelling is almost all the way healed.” Baizhu pointed to the tendon with his pinky. Now that Kaeya was looking at the injury in good light he could see that the bruises that were there before were gone, the leg almost looking normal. 

“How much pain do you feel when you walk?” 

Kaeya considered the question for a moment. 

“It’s not the worst if I use the crutches. Otherwise if I put pressure there’s quite a bit of it.” 

Baizhu nodded, writing something on the notepad. 

“Have you used anything to treat it?” 

Kaeya looked to Albedo who was already distracted looking at his hand. The second Albedo realized he was the best one to speak at the moment he broke his attention from the bare wall. 

“Umm, I only used some ointment to treat it. The usual antibiotic plants native to Mondstadt – mint, goldenseal, sanitacamen, and some honey wax.”

Baizhu nodded, writing some more notes down on the paper. 

“They do help with cleaning wounds. That’s a good head on your shoulders. But you should know that you’re already at the ten day mark for all of them. The swelling in your ankle usually wouldn’t start going down until a full week had passed, and even then by small amounts. Your burn is healing nicely and as your body builds tissue back up, pain in the torso area will naturally decrease as well. As for your arm….” 

Kaeya frowned. Baizhu shook his head. 

“Nothing. It's healing fine as well. I’m just a bit surprised that it's not infected. You’re a lucky patient.” 

Kaeya met Albedo’s eyes before giving the doctor a faux smile. “I’m glad.” 

Baizhu grabbed his stack of notes, writing some more on the paper and ripping a small slip of paper from a larger sheet. 

“I’ll be prescribing some pain medication and will have Gui give you some instructions. You’ll have one medicine for the day and another at night for sleep. In addition, we’ll provide antibiotics for the next couple of weeks. Be sure to take them at the proper times to combat infection successfully and so any bacteria won’t build immunity.” 

Kaeya nodded, to which Baizhu returned with a smile. 

“With your permission I also have a treatment that I can use my dendro for. It’ll speed up the healing process until your swelling goes all the way down. With the pain medication-” 

“-I’ll be able to walk?” He asked, just a bit hopefully. 

Baizhu nodded. 

“The bruises there will still take a little bit of time to heal, but with your rate of healing, they’ll be good as new in no time.” He gave the slip of paper to Kaeya. “Now, I’ll go set up in another room for the dendro treatment. There I’ll also do a proper diagnostic test for the amnesia. Just give me a moment please.” 

Baizhu left the room with the door closing behind him. Silence quickly fell over the room. The easy atmosphere that surrounded Kaeya and Albedo was now more awkward than anything. Albedo’s eyes remain fixated to the wall and Kaeya’s mind to the prescription slip in his hand. 

A noise of paper crumpling again caught Kaeya’s attention. He looked up to see Albedo staring at a piece of–

“Is that my letter?” Kaeya asked, caught off guard. 

Albedo’s eyes flicked upward and back to the paper in his hands, paying not a second’s mind to the question. 

“ Albedo ,” Kaeya said, more chiding this time. 

He leaned forward, quickly grabbing his crutches to cross the room. 

“Give it back.”

“Kaeya–” 

“I thought I threw it away. You can’t do that.”

“ Kaeya– ” 

He stumbled forward, satisfied with using one crutch for support and the other to try and bash Albedo’s head in. 

When Kaeya made a grab for the paper, Albedo quickly dodged, ducking under Kaeya’s arms and keeping the paper from him. Kaeya let out a frustrated exhale. 

“We are not doing this.” 

“Doing what?” 

“ Albedo!” 

“Kaeya look–” He dodged again when Kaeya made a lunge for it. They chased each other around the small room. 

“You can’t just keep my letter.” 

“You weren’t using it.” 

“Gah!” Kaeya threw his head up before trying again to grab the paper, only this time, he grabbed the dagger he always hides in his boot and fling an ice shard at Albedo’s hand. 

The shard did little to shake Albedo’s grasp. 

What it actually did was lodge itself in his palm, right below the paper.

The homunculus simply moved the letter into his other hand, shaking the original hand until the ice dropped onto the floor. 

“What did you actually think that would do?” 

“Provide a distraction–” Kaeya said as he lunged again, only for his crutch to catch against the leg of a chair. 

He lost his balance, and for the second time that day, fell forward. Albedo tried his best to catch him again, but Kaeya, still trying to grab the letter, only caused their bodies to collide. They both fell to the floor, Albedo’s head banging against the corner of the medicine table. 

For a quick second Kaeya’s breath caught. 

Kaeya cradled Albedo’s head against his chest checking for blood, ice shooting through his veins, and starting to form on his hands. 

Until, of course, Albedo pushed himself off Kaeya’s chest and Kaeya’s hand came back covered in black. Kaeya huffed and immediately pushed Albedo off of him.

Stupid homunculus and his weird blood. 

“I’m fine, thanks,” Albedo muttered. Kaeya couldn’t tell whether it was sincere or sarcastic, but when he saw the letter in one of Albedo’s hands again he was reminded of why they fell in the first place. 

Albedo saw where his eye landed and pulled it away, trying to put a hand out. 

“Kaeya, wait, you have to look at–” 

“You couldn’t just leave well enough alone, could you?” He crawled to the best of his ability to wrestle for the letter. “You had to insert yourself into my business .” He grabbed a wrist. The two pushed back and forth, trying to get control. Albedo was almost too strong, but Kaeya was trained in immobilizing enemies twice his size and weight. “I try to leave it behind and you just keep bringing it up and not leaving the past in the past. ” Albedo stopped moving.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, breathless. Kaeya, confused at his reaction, took the opportunity to snatch the paper out of Albedo’s hand. 

“It means you should keep your nose away from my things,” he snapped before ripping the letter in two. 

Albedo tried to take it back when he made his first attempt at a tear but Kaeya placed his knees on each of his shoulders. “Just leave it alone. ” 

“Kaeya–” 

“Don’t touch my things,” tear, “don’t use my past to entertain your sick curiosity,” another tear, “and don’t–” 

Albedo pushed forward and almost managed to turn them over, but Kaeya pushed back down, foregoing his grasp on the torn pieces in order to pin Albedo’s arms down. 

Kaeya was out of breath, forgetting his anger as as a stone faced Albedo stared up at him. 

“Can you just leave it alone?” Kaeya asked, pitifully. 

He waited for an answer. He waited almost too long. Albedo didn’t move, didn’t blink. If Kaeya didn’t know any better, he’d think no one was home in that little head of his.

When he thought he wasn’t going to get an answer, Kaeya began to sit up, but he felt a hand wrap around his arm.

Something in Kaeya’s gut lurched as Albedo pulled himself up, grabbing the papers between two fingers. For some reason, Kaeya didn’t move as he did so.

He quickly became aware of how close they were, and how little heat Albedo gave off. Albedo didn’t break eye contact, and in a thought as rare as snow in the summer, Kaeya felt truly exposed… vulnerable, like he was being mentally undressed. 

Albedo laid the pieces of paper on their laps and started piecing it back together. 

Kaeya didn’t know what Albedo expected to find. There was nothing there. They both saw. 

But he continued anyway and Kaeya only just realized that he was still straddling Albedo. 

“I suppose it was because we were reading it in the dark. But look.” 

Kaeya ripped his eye away from the alchemist to look down at the paper being carefully placed in his hand. There were various folds and creases and the tears absolutely didn’t help, but underneath the written words was smudges of ink underneath, nealy scraped off in most places but some semblance of few words remained. 

Kaeya looked at the paper with increasing concentration. The lighting in the room wasn’t all too great either and he had only one eye.

“Can you read out any of the words?” Kaeya asked the other quietly. 

Albedo looked at the paper. 

“I think I see ‘collapsed’ under ‘Dragonspine.’ It’s hard to tell.” 

Kaeya let out a breath of bitter air.

“If he wanted to erase something, he’d erase it. He loved erasing things with those fancy ink scrapers he had.” He scoffed. “More importantly, he hated mistakes in his writings. I think your eyes are playing tricks on yourself.” Albedo shoved the letter piece in Kaeya’s face more so. 

“That could mean he wanted you to see it. If he made such a show about erasing something, doesn’t that mean he- he almost wants you to find it. Something happened on that mountain.” 

“There you go again.” 

“The smudges take up half the page-” 

“You’re making a big deal out of an illegible smudge-” 

“That’s a lot of information that he's needing to rewrite. You could find out more about why you even–” 

“Why do you even care so much?” Kaeya snapped, realizing just what had been itching at him this whole visit.  “What interest do you have in my well being— how does figuring out my past help you?” 

Albedo doesn’t continue his thought. 

Long drawn out moments were spent staring at each other, both in a battle of unsaid words.

Kaeya couldn’t hear Albedo’s thoughts, sure, but that didn’t mean his own weren’t screaming echoes in his mind. 

Stop giving me false hope. You’re way too interested in this. I’ve accepted it, why can’t you? 

And all of that of course layers on top of the usual skepticism. “I could almost think that this is just a ploy to catch me at my weakest. Hit me where it hurts, drive the wound deeper until you don’t have to worry about the one thing keeping you from home.”

Albedo clenched his jaw, grip visibly tightening on the paper. When he spoke though, all that came out was a quiet, crushed tone. 

“My memory is disappearing more and more every waking moment of every day that we don’t find this glimmer of hope that probably doesn’t exist anymore. If I have to leave Mondstadt without restoring my past, then I want you to have yours.” 

Kaeya didn’t move. He couldn’t think of what to say in response. He couldn’t even think of what Albedo would mean by it. How could Albedo so honestly mean the words he’d said?

They didn’t even know each other… not really. Kaeya supposed that they knew each other in the ways that no one else did, at least Albedo knew Kaeya in ways no one else did. Maybe they knew each other only in the ways that mattered. 

Kaeya didn’t even get the chance to form a response when footsteps sounded outside of the room. He pushed himself off of Albedo just as the door opened with Baizhu, accompanied by his snake and papers of notes, on the other side. 

“Let’s get you checked out.” 

“Kaeya, just think about it,” Albedo said. 

‘I don’t want to,’ Kaeya didn’t. 

… 

Baizhu closed the door behind Kaeya. 

“Go ahead and lay down on the table and I'll tell you the procedures when you are situated.” 

Kaeya looked around the room. It was nothing special. The occasional painting on the wall was the only decoration in the bare space. And in the centre of it all was the table that Kaeya hesitantly layed down on. 

“My dendro vision allows me to sense the energies that flow through people, almost like blood. If there’s a problem in the flow, such as when someone is injured or goes through a traumatic event, you can either produce too much or too little of those energies, and it disrupts daily functions, causes pain, an ill state of being or, in some cases,” he drew in a breath, “memory loss.” A beat passed before Kaeya properly processed the information and nodded.

“I’m going to use my vision to see where this blockage or overproduction occurs and how it relates to your amnesia-“

The snake around Baizhu’s neck hissed. 

“What is it, Changsheng?” He asked. 

The snake’s head lifted up to his ear, and he flicked a gaze towards Kaeya. 

It was just a glance but it was enough. 

Kaeya reached for the dagger that wasn’t in his pocket. 

Baizhu’s eyes then widened slightly as the snake bared its fangs once more.

“What is it?” 

Baizhu quickly masked his surprise. “Nothing. I’ll just be putting you into a trance-like state so it’s better to lie down.” 

Kaeya recognized that mask like it was in his own closet, mainly because it was. It was the face that appeared when he’d try to keep a level head, keep the outside calm, the inside rapid calculating. 

Kaeya started scooting away slowly. He started to make excuses while trying to keep his dignity on right. “I think I’m gonna reject this treatment. I don’t exactly feel well right now and–” 

“You’ll be fine. It’s normal to be scared.” Baizhu started reaching out when Kaeya felt something thicken in his blood, and the doctor flinched again. 

Baizhu shook it off and reached his arm towards Kaeya’s head again. 

“Don’t touch me.” 

Kaeya grabbed the arm forcefully, but froze when his eye caught sight of his hands.

His breath stopped short when he saw black and thick veins protruding from his hands. He desperately looked around himself for a reflective surface as pressure started building against his eye. 

He resorted to using Baizhu’s glasses as a mirror and, with horror, found his face in a worse state. A ring of black surrounded his eyes like a distorted mask. 

He felt Baizhu’s hands wrap around his temples, thumbs pressing into his forehead. The last thing Kaeya saw before his vision faded to black was a yellow eye staring back at himself. 

… 

Kaeya found himself being pulled in all directions. 

He was being unfolded, like his eye was pinching outwards and revealing a self within. He couldn’t move, couldn’t feel anything – could feel everything, was everywhere at once. 

He was poisoned from within. His blood was gold. His blood was black. 

He felt the hands of time tick backwards, felt the gold coursing through his veins mend the wounds covering his body. He felt sludge opening them anew. 

He was reaching forward, and was pulled back by a thousand hands. Felt gold on his head, felt it melt over his right eye. 

His back hit a wall and there was a hand on his cheek. 

He could breathe again. 

He jumped back. 

“My prince,” the voice asked – young… familiar. 

Gold met turquoise, stone met ice. 

“Albedo?” He breathed, confused. He startled at the sound of his own voice.

The boy in front of him frowned. “I don’t like that name.” 

Kaeya swallowed. 

“Where are the stars?” He heard himself ask, though the words didn’t feel like his own.

“The stars haven’t existed for a long time.” 

Their fingers were entwined. 

“Don’t you want to see them?” his body asked.

“Your eyes have the only stars I wish to see,” the boy responded. 

“Oh,” the much younger Kaeya replied. He didn’t really know how to give much of a dignified answer. 

“Where are we?” He instead asked, looking up at the pitch black sky, feeling the dampness of the air they were breathing. 

“Khaenri’ah,” the boy said.

“ Oh. ” 

The boy in front of him smiled. 

“Why?” Kaeya asked. 

“Don’t you know why?” 

Kaeya shook his head. 

“Should I?” 

The boy frowned at him. 

“You should. I don’t know why you can’t remember.” 

Kaeya’s attention perked particularly then. The boy turned his head, trying to perform mental calculations to… whatever would concern his mind. 

“I don’t know why either. Can you help me?” Kaeya asked. 

The boy turned back to face Kaeya, but this time his eyes were fully black, save for a glowing magenta that looked so so familiar. Ink started to pour from the boy’s eyes, replicating tears to a disturbing detail. 

Kaeya blinked and the illusion was gone. They were once again two boys sitting tangled up in a dark alleyway.

“You want to remember?” 

Kaeya nodded. 

He blinked again and the ink was back, cracks in the boy’s skin gushing with black blood. 

He should probably be more frightened, but he wasn’t. He remains in the boy's arms even as the liquid smeared onto his skin. 

“Your memories are theirs. You simply have to make them give them to you.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Reality kept flickering in and out, with some moments in between where Kaeya felt like he was catching far off glimpses of the kingdom. 

“They’ve already infected you. You’re only lucky you survived the night.” 

“What night?” 

“Do you know what happens when they bubble to the surface?” 

With every beat of his heart he’d flash to a different room, a different street. He caught flickers of a library, a fountain, a spacious room with swords covering the walls. 

The only thing that didn’t change was Kaeya holding onto the boy next to him.

“What happens?” He murmured, halfway distracted with the places that were melding and shifting before his very eyes. 

A throne room, a laboratory, a bell tower, a group of kids, all with tired and kind faces. 

“They change what you perceive, torture you with visions of a crueler life. They were what stole your memory.” A kingdom engulfed in flames. “And you won’t get it back without them.” 

The images stopped. All of a sudden it was blinding white. 

Kaeya couldn’t feel the warmth of the boy next to him anymore. In fact, he couldn’t feel any warmth at all. Instead he could only hear distant howling wind. 

It was too quiet between the crunches of snow beneath his shifting feet. 

“Who am I?” Kaeya asks with a shaky breath. He was grown again, he discovered with his once again deep voice. 

Albedo stood in front of him, magenta eyes visible once more. He leaned forward, covered in his inky blood, bringing his black covered mouth to Kaeya’s ear

“There’s a reason you know what Khaenri’ah looks like.” 

All the breath left Kaeya’s body in a visible cloud against the falling snow. He could see drops of the blood against the ice on the ground, creating a chilling effect. 

And yet, Albedo didn’t draw his body back. 

Kaeya felt stone cold lips hovering just a hair above his skin. They trailed ever slowly from his ear to his jaw, planting a gentle kiss. 

When Albedo meets his eyes again, his blood free, teal eyes staring back at him. There’s a vibrancy to him that wasn’t there in the real world. Like his skin is of flesh and bone, and not marble and chalk. 

He smiles a genuine bright smile. 

“Your memories are theirs now,” he said, placing a gloved hand against Kaeya’s cheek. It felt too real. Too natural. 

“You said that already.” 

“Because you don’t understand to the extent you need to,” he said wistfully. “You can either have your memories with them fully in control of you, or you resist them, and they won’t give you your past.” 

A frustrated Kaeya felt like he was trying to swallow rocks. 

“I want to remember.”

“I know,” Albedo soothed. “I know.” 

Their faces had virtually no distance between them and Kaeya didn’t know how to feel. Still, he closed his eyes as Albedo rested his forehead against Kaeya’s temple, lips finding his skin once again. 

“We promised to always come back to each other. We’ll find a way again.” 

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Kaeya whispered back. 

Albedo chuckled, humming against Kaeya’s shoulder. “Take your time. You’ll come to me one way or another.” 

Kaeya leaned back slightly. “I’m not gonna remember this, am I?” 

Albedo shook his head. “It’s best if you wake up, my prince.” 

Kaeya frowned before reality flashed once more. Blood once again covered them both, a ring of dark veins encircled Albedo’s eyes and Albedo started to move quickly. 

Something stabbed into Kaeya. Albedo stabbed Kaeya with a dagger. 

It was painless, and yet Kaeya felt every single nerve light with fire. 

The knife fell onto the snow just as he did, it’s insignia landing right in front of his eyes. 

He felt weightless and yet like the world was dragging him down by his shoulders. 

There was a gold, four pointed star on the blade and the further down Kaeya’s gaze trailed down, the more he saw inky black blood covering the blade. 

Someone was calling his name in the distance.

And darkness reclaimed him once more. 

…

Kaeya opened his eyes with the glare of sun in his eye. 

He half expected to wake up in his office, drooling alcohol and church bells ringing in the background. 

He sat up to see Baizhu and tensed immediately. (Where was his knife?) Of course, until he remembered everything that led up to where he was and the nightmare that had happened the past few days caught up with him once again. 

“How do you feel?” 

Kaeya shrugged. 

“Would you like some tea?” 

He nodded, accepting the cup. 

“Is there anything to note? Do you remember anything from your trance?” 

Kaeya thought hard. A lot of details were foggy and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t.

“That’s alright, though I have a few things written down you should know.”

Kaeya frowned, his eye following the doctor to and fro and around the room until he sat down beside Kaeya on the table. 

“What’d you find?” He still managed to ask in a ‘chipper’ voice. 

“That’s the thing,” Baizhu said, flipping through his notes. “Physically, there wasn’t anything special. You seem to have sustained no trauma anywhere near your head.” 

“Even near my eye?” 

“No, which, may I take a look at the hidden one just to be sure?” 

Kaeya shook his head. That was something he also hated about going to the doctor. They were always curious about his eye patch. He supposed that it was their job to be concerned but no one’s ever seen his eye, and no one ever will. 

Baizhu nodded and returned to his notes. 

“Well, in any case, you said in your form that it’s blind, something I assume you’ve acquired before memory loss, though I couldn’t find any sign that it was caused by trauma or disease. Uniquely, that seems to be the same case with your memory loss.” 

“How?” 

Baizhu set his notes down. 

“Your memory cannot return because there’s nothing that needs to be healed.” 

All the breath left Kaeya’s body. 

“Usually with trauma induced amnesia, there’s a mental block. Sometimes that kind of blockage is the simplest to get rid of, sometimes it’s not. After visiting me for periods of time, in the best case scenarios, patients can fully recover. There wasn’t any sign of emotional blockage, which could make sense, given that those kinds of memories are also usually of isolated incidents.” 

Kaeya was barely listening. 

“In the case of physical trauma, where the part of the head that has memories is injured, it’s a little more complicated. Either the memories come back after it's healed or they don’t, either slowly or quickly. But virtually there’s nothing wrong with your memory. It seems like it simply… vanished. I’m… truly sorry.” 

And there it was.

If the supposed best healer in Liyue can’t find anything even wrong with him then why’d he even bother. 

Internally, Kaeya was devastated. 

If someone were to ask him why, he’d laugh. Say he wasn’t really and buy another drink. But his mind knew the truth. The one home he’d known in the life he could remember had dissolved. Most nights he slept in the same room that he worked in. His father dead. Brother left. Memory gone. Maybe he did want to give in to the fantasy. To have allowed himself to find his biological family maybe. To find out where he came from. Where he was supposed to belong. 

And though he steeled himself for it, hope has funny ways of sneaking into the cavity where his heart used to be. Albedo can take his little positivity and shove it up his ass. He’d travelled all the way to Liyue to chase a fictitious prince and learn what he’d always known, that he had nowhere to belong. That he couldn’t let himself be swayed by the longing. 

But Baizhu only saw Kaeya smile and nod at his words. 

“No need. Thank you for looking at it.” 

Baizhu smiled. “The pleasure has been all mine.”

… 

When Kaeya was finished with Dr. Baizhu, Albedo was almost thrown. 

He was walking perfectly well, poise and straight but the smile plastered on his face was tight. Albedo eyed him warily. 

“I’m not completely healed,” Kaeya had said. “We agreed that the most important thing for the journey, especially since we’re after Barbatos, is the fact that I can walk. So he worked his magic on the swelling, made sure it was all the way down— said with the rate I healed at, the pain should be all gone in a few days.” 

Albedo nodded in acknowledgement, glad that Kaeya’s at least able to fend for himself if they run into trouble. 

They began making their way to the entrance once more, ready to depart. Albedo was about to ask Kaeya how he was faring with his other injuries, hand still holding tightly onto the letter in his pocket— still thinking about what those smudges of ink covering legible words could mean. That was until Kaeya pulled him aside. 

“He didn’t have shit to say about my amnesia.” 

Albedo frowned. “But surely there–” 

“There wasn’t,” Kaeya spat. He took a deep breath. “He said that there was nothing affecting it physically.” 

Albedo did his best to keep his surprise under check.

So that confirmed his theory. Both his and Kaeya’s amnesia had to do with whatever had poisoned them back in Khaenri’ah. 

Following that logic, he needed to know why. Why the hell was he normal? The question burned in the back of his mind more than ever. Maybe Albedo’s chemistry saved him from whatever fate awaited the rest of the Khaenri’ahn citizens, but Kaeya?

“What are you thinking, Albedo?” The question wasn't a happy one. 

“Nothing, I– nothing.” 

“We make any more detours on this mission and I’ll call it off right away.” 

It was like a slap in the face. 

“So that’s that? You’re going to make us give up when we’re so close?” 

“We’re close!?” Kaeya snapped. “What? To finding the anemo archon? To arriving at Dragonspine? Ludi Harpastum’s around the corner and instead of trying to finish this as quickly as possible, you insist on making me stop at the fucking doctor?” 

“You weren’t exactly speeding things up,” Albedo pointed out in a nonchalant manner. 

Kaeya looked like he was actually going to slap Albedo in the face. 

But before Kaeya could do anything about it, there was a miniscule tug on the back of his coat. Kaeya turned around to see a tiny girl looking up at him. The same one Albedo had spotted in the hallway a short time before, only now he could see her much more clearly. 

She looked around four years old, with desaturated purple hair and unnaturally pale skin. His eyes flicked to the small fingers attached to Kaeya’s coat and he saw that her fingertips were torn up, fingernails jagged and so far dead they were black. 

Confusion flickered across his mind until he spied the piece of paper hanging from her hat that he recognized from his studies of Liyuen folklore, the talisman signaling her status as a jiangshi. 

“I need to go herb gathering,” she said slowly, voice coated with a rasp. “Will you come with me?” 

Any malice between the two men before had melted away at the confusion. Albedo had to stop himself from studying the odd hue of her eyes and instead turn his gaze to the notebook in her hand. 

“Who are you?” He asked. Kaeya soon after stopped to take in the scene as well. 

“I am Qiqi. Can you go herb gathering with me?” 

Kaeya furrowed his brows. 

“Do we know you?” He asked, curious as to why the girl stopped them. “Do you know us?”

“I don’t know who anyone is, really. But my notebook says that when I go herb-gathering I get help and it says that you help me.” 

Kaeya threw a confused look to Albedo who shrugged in return. He tried to get a peek of the notebook in the girl’s hands but she pulled it back. 

“It’s not for others,” she said monotonously. It gave even Albedo’s aloofness a run for its money. In response he nodded. She gave him a bit of a wary gaze before lowering her head, reading from her notebook. 

“I can’t remember the last time we met but it says that two people help me. They usually fight so–” 

Albedo frowned. “We’re not fighting.” The small girl slowly lifted her head, blinking her eyelids like they weighed ten tons. 

She returned her head to look at the notebook, not dignifying the answer with a response. “Can you go herb gathering with me?” 

“Do you have a parent–?” 

“Qiqi– Oh, what a pleasant surprise?” Baizhu walked out of a backroom, cane and all. “I see you’ve met my Qiqi.” He angled his head towards the little girl. “You made some friends?” 

“They’re supposed to go herb gathering with me,” she said to Baizhu. Kaeya looked between the two, trying to signal that he and Albedo don’t know what she’s talking about. 

Baizhu smiled, endeared. “You can allow her to take you, won’t you? I hope it's not too out of the way on the journey you’re taking. She usually gathers violetgrass, ginger, and dong quai on the small mountains west of the city. She can handle herself fine but it doesn’t stop how worried I become whenever she’s in the mountains. It’s times like these when I wish my leg doesn’t ail me so.” 

She frowned just a bit. “I haven’t seen that anywhere in my notebook.” 

“Maybe you forgot to write it down, Qiqi,” Baizhu said, tone slightly clipped. Kaeya narrowed his eyes. 

“Alright then,” he said. Albedo’s eyes locked with his for a second, not anticipating his answer nor his certainty. He shot a look that tried to convey something along the lines of ‘ what in the world do you think you’re doing?’

“Wonderful!” Baizhu exclaimed. “Take your time out there. I’m sure she’s much safer with you.”

Albedo opened his mouth to say something but Baizhu quickly hobbled away on his cane, leaving the two caught off guard just enough to stay speechless. 

Kaeya pointedly shrugged at Albedo, exaggerating helplessness and properly eliciting a small glare from him. 

The alchemist huffed and turned to face the little girl standing between them. He watched as she slowly blinked, face void of expression. 

“...I’m Qiqi.”

“Uh- huh ....”

“Can you go herb-gathering with me?” 

…

It was after they found Eila and Hearth at a communal horse stable that Albedo decided to begin his interrogation. 

“So, you’re a jiangshi, correct?” 

“I think so.” 

“How old are you?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“How old were you when you died?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“How are you able to perform actions without having a caretaker give you tasks?” 

“I give myself orders.” 

“And you have poor memory?” 

“Yes.” 

“How do you walk around normally?” 

“I stretch.” 

“And how did you die?” 

“Albedo–!” Kaeya chided. 

“What?” 

Qiqi stopped in her tracks, empty eyes stuck on the ground. Kaeya held his breath, even though Albedo didn’t catch the invasiveness of the question. 

“I knew at one point,” Qiqi said slowly. “I still remember the feeling of getting my vision. All I know is that it was cold. And I didn’t want to die.” 

She looked up at them, eyes still blank. “The adepti let me live again.” She frowned slightly in concentration. “Sort of.” She shook her head slightly. “It’s getting hot. Can we keep going?” 

Kaeya nodded. She walked ahead of them, approaching the bridge at the entrance of the city. It made Kaeya’s head spin when he realized that he and Albedo were in the exact same place as yesterday.

It was in the span of 24 hours that he met a god, heard that god make out with a harbinger, found out that the Fatui were hunting him and Albedo down. Found out that Albedo wasn’t human… He almost shivered when he saw Qiqi turn around at the end of the bridge to make sure that they were still with her. 

And he also met a useless doctor and a dead little girl. Nice to add that to the list as well. 

“Why did you say yes?” 

Kaeya stopped following Qiqi in order to smile venomously at Albedo with their two horses trailing behind him. 

“Well seeing as you don’t mind fruitless detours, I thought we’d give another one a laugh and a half. Maybe we could stop to go flower picking in Fontaine! I heard they have beautiful roses.” 

“You’re bitter about the results.” 

That mustered a humorless “ha,” from Kaeya. “Wow, you really are getting astute at reading people. Next thing you know you’ll be reading every knight’s mind at our monthly conferences.” 

“I thought it would help. We needed to heal your leg properly anyway.” 

“Yeah, well it didn’t. Excuse me for feeling deceived when you, not only, say I might have my memories, but you take my letter too?” 

“I’m trying to help you piece everything together.” 

“We’re trying to fix your past! Not mine!” 

Albedo didn’t respond for a moment. Kaeya had no idea what was rushing through his head, but it looked almost like he felt… guilty. It took Kaeya a bit by surprise, and whatever anger he had finally left. 

“... I’m sorry. You’re right.” 

The wound was still too raw. It was like Albedo was trying to put a bandaid over the freshly peeled scab he tore off in the first place. 

“Whatever, let’s just focus on the mission.” 

Kaeya wanted to throw himself in the harbor. 

Qiqi was standing by a small pool of water when Kaeya and Albedo caught up, tilting her head as she watched the wind carry flower petals across the water’s surface. 

She took out her notebook, flipping between pages. “Zhongli said that Barbatos didn’t remain fully in one region. So he travels often,” Albedo said, drawing Kaeya’s attention away from the small girl.

“And you think we can find him in Dragonspine?” Kaeya guessed. Albedo nodded. “What the hell did you even do up there all the time? Were you aware that you could be standing on top of the place you used to live?”

Albedo opened his mouth and closed it again, and if Kaeya didn’t know any better, he’d say that Albedo was a bit incredulous. 

“I… I was only drawn to it. Most of it was mineral samples and studying hillichurl life in the mountains as opposed to the plains and forests. Then I found traces of Durin’s blood on the mountain and I would go to and from at every opportunity I could.” 

“Durin? Like the…” Albedo nodded. Kaeya didn’t need a review of who Durin was. He was all too familiar with the tales of the dragon’s war on Mondstadt and Stormterror. 

He returned his focus to Qiqi who was performing an… odd array of actions. 

After staring at the pool, she opened her notebook and closed it again, sticking her hand out. The two watched on curiously as she looked up to the sky. And before Kaeya could ask what she was doing, the wind responded to the arm, a gust blowing strongly to the west. 

She seemed a little overwhelmed by the sensation until the wind slowed just the slightest, curling around the small child, tickling her crooked fingers. She closed her eyes as it danced between the locks of hair that fell out of her braid. 

Kaeya stared with increasing interest and awe before the wind died down. A quick glance to Albedo told him that he was doing the same. 

Though, no one said anything as Qiqi turned around toward the two of them, pointing in the direction that the wind was blowing, wordlessly telling them that west was indeed the direction they’d be heading in.

She turned around without another word, walking on the path that took them away from the city. 

Kaeya’s eyes met Albedo’s, the two seeming to share the same thought. 

Maybe this detour wouldn’t be so fruitless after all.

… 

When they reached a forking path on the edge of Guili plains, Qiqi opened her notebook once more. She did the same series of motions; closing it quickly and sticking her hand out. The wind picked up, this time blowing gently. 

Albedo watched the event with heightened fascination, mentally noting the winds changed behavior. Assuming that the wind isn’t sentient… that would either mean that the weather unconsciously decided to take mercy on the small child, or someone was controlling it. 

The alchemist wasn’t ignorant to the legends of adepti or vision-bearers who could control the elements with much skill, but the optimist in him didn’t want to rule out the sign of Barbatos either. 

Kaeya was still by his side, fiddling with the side of his shirt by his scar. The words of their earlier conversation sat fresh in his mind. 

He’s never been good at comforting others. Though, he probably should be better at it considering working with Sucrose meant helping her to manage her anxiety during the day, but she tended to bury herself in work when she was stressed. Being out here, with nothing to do other than walk and talk meant there weren’t many opportunities for distraction either. 

He wants to help. He just doesn’t know how. 

Maybe it’s because the most obvious solution to Kaeya’s problem, not knowing where he came from, meant filling in that gap in his memory. 

There were moments when Albedo wanted to. And he so desperately wants to but… 

No. Just a bit longer. There wasn’t an easy way to say it. There wasn’t a way to do so and keep Kaeya and— while it could be only wishful thinking— before, Kaeya seemed to almost enjoy his company. Albedo wanted to find it again. 

So, no. 

Just a little while longer. 

For once, Albedo didn’t have a plan. And he didn’t know what scared him more. 

… 

It was about half an hour more of walking when they came across a few jutting masses of rock, small cliff faces covered in lichen and vines, popping up across the rolling hills of countryside. 

Qiqi approached the nearest one and began to stretch. Kaeya watched curiously as she went through repeated motions, counting up to nine. When he asked why, she replied with: 

“There’s numbers after nine?” 

He opened and closed his mouth, not sure what to do with that response.

Albedo whistled and let go of their two horses, letting them run wild in the fields as they continued to prepare for… whatever Qiqi was going to do. 

Once it seemed that she was done, she faced the cliffside, and without hesitation, started to climb. 

If her lack of ability to count took him off guard, Qiqi’s climbing ability did more so. 

She was sloppy, the bandages around her legs scraping against the rock. She moved up the small mountain like a growing fungus, seemingly not needing to support any limbs on the climb. If she didn’t hold on to a divot quite right, like she did many times, then the limb bent as oddly as it needed to to get to the next hold. 

Her target, it seemed, were small purple flowers poking out from cracks in the rock. 

“She’s going to hurt herself,” Albedo pointed out. “If that’s even possible.”

“She’s four years old and pulling herself up mountains for a few plants. I don’t think injury is possible. Especially if that doctor sends her out alone without a second thought.” 

“I thought you were quite taken with Dr. Baizhu,” Albedo said, something creeping into his tone that Kaeya couldn’t quite name. Albedo did a good job of keeping his voice even, the same even tone present as always, but there was definitely an underlying emotion there. An amused smile found itself growing on his face. 

“There’s no doubt he’s attractive. No doubt at all,” Kaeya said with a smirk, thinking about the little incident earlier without a hint of shame. It didn’t take long however, for the smile to drop. “Something about him rubs me the wrong way.” 

“I didn’t sense anything out of the ordinary.” 

Kaeya turned his gaze to the small pout on Albedo’s face and rolled his eyes. 

“Where’s the letter?” 

Albedo, who seemed to expect the question sooner, had it ready in his pocket. Or what he could salvage from it. 

“Here.” 

“And tell me again,” he said carefully, “what do you think it could mean?” 

“That it’s even more important that we go to Dragonspine.”

Kaeya took the sentence silently. “What would we expect to find?” 

Albedo is silent for a time longer. He refused to make eye contact with Kaeya, hand travelling to fiddle with his neck. 

“What if Khaenri’ah and the letter are related?” 

Kaeya almost choked. “What in the world would make you think–?” 

THUMP

Something landed in the grass a small distance away. 

They both snapped their heads in the direction of the noise, trying to peek over blades to see what caused it.

Kaeya practically leapt out of his boots when he saw a pale body covered in purple sprawled out over the grass. Her limbs were contorted, the bandages on her legs torn and covered with blood ranging from mild and old stains to fresh wounds. 

“Qiqi?” Kaeya asked, not sure whether to panic at the fact that she might be dead, or to remain calm since she was already so.

She turned her head skyward, picking herself up off the ground. As she sat up she patted the grass around her for something before picking up her notebook and then holding up a stalk of the plant from the cliff side, purple pressing against the brown of the notebook cover. 

“At least it was an effective method,” Albedo noted optimistically. Kaeya gave an incredulous guffaw. 

She looked at them with glazed over eyes before blinking and shaking her head. Kaeya stepped forward to help her but stopped when he saw that she was checking her notebook. 

She turned to a page and narrowed her eyes before looking between it and the two intrigued  men in front of her. 

With every look back and forth her eyes continued to widen, mouth pulling back. It wasn’t quite a smile, but her excitement was exuded nevertheless. 

“Can you come herb-gathering with me?” 

Kaeya pressed his mouth thin, allowing a small smile to appear. 

“You know, I think there’s someone in Mondstadt who would love to be your friend someday.” 

“Are they good at herb gathering?” 

Kaeya thought about Klee’s destructive hobbies but also her steeled determination. He offered a hand as she picked herself up off the ground. “In a sense.” 

Qiqi nodded, ignoring his hand. Kaeya didn’t mind too much as she walked toward the next mountain. 

“How do we help?” Kaeya asked. 

She walked on, sticking the violet grass in a small pouch. 

“Catch me.” 

“ What?” 

Sticking her arms out, the small girl sprinted toward another small cliff side. Her legs were clumsy, she tripped a few times, but Kaeya kept up with her, watching carefully to make sure she didn’t hurt herself, if it was even a function in her biology anymore. 

When she finally reached a desired cliffside, Kaeya tried to climb with her, but she instructed him to stay on the ground. Albedo finally caught up with the two of them when she was halfway up. 

“And how do you plan on catching her?” 

Kaeya rolled his eyes again. “With my arms out.” 

Albedo nonchalantly leaned against the wall of the cliffside. 

“She’s too heavy for you to catch from that distance. Her acceleration would break your freshly healed legs.” 

“Well, I can see why Klee never wanted you for a play-buddy.” 

Albedo shrugged as Qiqi waved a small signal to Kaeya to let him know that she was about to jump. He walked passed as Kaeya held his arms out. 

Qiqi jumped and Kaeya quickly realized how bad of an idea it was as she came falling down. 

“Oh shit.” 

As Kaeya quickly mourned for the health of his arms, he felt a strong tug pull him backwards and a rock flew up to meet Qiqi. 

Right before the rock would crash into her, a flower bloomed, a skinny beam of light shooting to the ground and forming a crystal foundation to mirror its pair. 

Kaeya, still halfway about to fall over, looked up to see Albedo’s smug expression.

“You were saying?”  

“My statement about Klee still stands.” 

Albedo pushed Kaeya up as Qiqi slid down a petal that dipped her right into his arms. 

She landed with a small “oof.” Kaeya was anxious to see her reaction as he didn’t really do what was agreed. 

Qiqi pushed herself up with wide eyes and started to, what Kaeya could only describe as, buzz. She tapped Kaeya’s arm, and he took it as a signal to put her down. 

Once on the floor she began to wave her arms and opened her mouth in another almost smile. Then she started to run circles around Kaeya and Albedo, jumping occasionally, until she stopped in front of the two once more. 

“Can we do it again?” 

Kaeya couldn’t press down the small smile that made its way to his face. And who was he to deny the wishes of a great herb-gather. 

So they spend the next hour with much of the same routine. 

After about the ninth mountain, and Qiqi is just as excited about the fall as the first time, she says that there aren’t any more harvestable mountains in the area. Kaeya placed two fingers on the edge of his lips to call Eila and Hearth once again and the two returned to them following close behind the group. 

Then came the moment that Kaeya could see Albedo had most anticipated. 

She opened her notebook and went to the nearest intersection on the semi paved roads. Then she stuck out her hand, waiting for an even longer amount of time this go-round. 

But just as it did earlier, the gentle breeze around began to speed up. Dancing around the three, this time carrying the scents of soil and herbs that were no doubt resting on the mountaintops that surrounded them. 

Albedo, evidently, saw his chance. He decided to stick his hand out as well. When he did, however, the wind stopped. 

Qiqi turned around to face him. When she saw his hand out, she released a tired breath of air, and turned back around. 

Before she could take another step, though, the wind picked up against Albedo and Kaeya, so much so that it started to throw them around. 

In the blink of an eye, the merry feeling the wind carried turned into violent ferocity. Eila and Hearth lifted onto two legs and stomped them down at the harshness in the air. And from that ferocity, a figure appeared in front of Kaeya, a jade spear to his throat. 

The wind took form in a short man who appeared to be a little younger than the both of them, almost growling as Qiqi poked her head out from behind him. Kaeya’s eyes crossed as they focused on the diamond that was directly in front of his eyes. His hair was a stark and dramatic black, save for the green highlights that matched the glowing anemo vision on his glove. 

“What are you doing, mortal? Shouldn’t you be drinking the day away in Mondstadt?” 

“We’re going herb-gathering,” Kaeya pouted, ignoring the blade biting into his skin. 

“We’re going herb-gathering,” Qiqi repeated. 

“We’re going, Qiqi. You two reek of the abyss.” 

“You know Qiqi?” 

“Are you rubbing off on me or something, Albedo?” 

“But we’re not done!” Qiqi whined.

“We’re going away from them!” 

“Excuse you! Who do you think you are?” 

“Who do you think you are, speaking which such tone to an–” 

“Adeptus,” Albedo finished for him with wonder. His eyes took in the man like he was dissecting him with vision alone. 

“You’re the one who was controlling the wind,” Kaeya thought aloud. 

“ You aren’t to speak. Kidnapping children is a whole new low for one of Mondstadt’s knights.” 

“So apparently you’ve been in contact with Diluc.” 

“ Can we bring this bickering to an end?” 

A familiar figure walked up from behind Kaeya and Albedo. Kaeya widened his eyes as he watched the familiar green-clad bard tip the spear from his throat to the adeptus’s arms, slinging an arm over his shoulders.

With the wag of a finger, a small breeze encouraged Qiqi to step forward, scrunching her face as the cool air nipped at her cheeks. 

The bard poked a finger at the adeptus’s nose and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “You need to learn not to be so hostile. Especially to some old friend’s of mine.” Kaeya clicked his tongue in surprise. 

“So my eyes don’t deceive me. What are you doing so far from home, Venti?” 

His eyes were still glowing green as they met Kaeya’s. “Shouldn’t I be asking you the same thing?” 

… 

Childe really didn’t want to be there. He received a letter from one of the Tsaritsa’s secretaries stating that most of the Harbingers were working on collecting the gnoses of the remaining five archons. He should’ve been on a boat at that moment, doing what he always did, and leaving his bloody messes behind him, but no. 

Instead, he had to be the one to make sure Dottore wasn’t getting side tracked. 

Like hell he was doing that. He hated the guy. Ever since he started running his more ‘ classified’ experiments, and he sure didn’t play fair in a fight. 

Childe’s least favorite kind of person. 

So he put off the task of finding him for as long as possible, keeping an eye out for experiments number 1 and 2 respectively, while also really trying to stay at a precise level of drunkenness that allowed him his usual authority and wouldn’t get him thrown into the dungeons and frozen for misconduct, but would allow him to walk through the world without wanting to burn it to the ground. 

It was a thin thin line. 

And he walked that fucking tightrope like he was a born acrobat. 

If only Zhongli could see him now, perfectly enjoying (meh) life without him. He’s even watching that girl that the man wouldn’t shut up about a few months ago, with the pyro vision and the fontaine music style and the, quite literally, explosive special effects. It was the second day in a row she had played that week (along with her very loud groupies) and he already heard that the performance yesterday was apparently the “best display of musicianship since the guqin was invented.”

He gripped his jacket sleeve, leaning back against the wall. His mind would often travel back to his favorite parts about the city– or rather the only person who took the time out of their day to show him the city. If only Pulcinella could see him now— an hour of sleep, avoiding every dish Zhongli ever spoke about at the Wanmin, (which was practically all of them, so there’s that.) Hands not even itching for his weapon like they so normally were before leaving to and from Snezhnaya. 

He would probably get frozen alive for being so… weak, letting even his thoughts wander right back to him. It was a bad habit that he needed to break. Now wasn’t the time to get sentimental. Now was the time to get–

“Hey Childe!”

He groaned. 

“ Hey! Hey Fatui boy! Childe. Hey Childe, or should I say Tartaglia? Tartagalishous. Hey Tartar Sauce! Yeah, I see you. Hey! Childe! Don’t act like you don’t know me. Put down your hand! I can see you and your dumb scarf! Hey. ” 

“What do you want ?” 

He lowered his hand that was supposed to cover his face to see the funeral parlor director, stupid little hat and all. 

“Are you and Mr. Zhongli not together anymore? Real shame isn’t it?” She says it's not a shame at all. 

“You will tell me if you haven’t been feeling well, won’t you? Broken hearts are not a laughing matter. You should start preparing in case you appear underground sooner than you anticipate. Might as well preorder a casket. I won’t even give you the fake coupons this time! Pinky promise. ” 

Childe heard the subtle bite behind her words. He didn’t even bat an eye. Neither did she as she repocketed the coupons she took out. 

“Didn’t know rock n’ roll was more your style. You seem like the type of person who would rather listen to the dying screams of his opponents.” 

“You think you’d appreciate my talents after a while,” he muttered. 

“Not a chance. You make business much more hectic than it needs to be. Don’t even give anyone time to place an order at the parlor and I end up losing more potential customers!” She huffed, eyes flickering to the girl onstage as she got ready to play another song, the crowd starting to cloud words together. Her arms were crossed, staring at the floor. 

The awkwardness of the silence was still felt, even if people around them were cheering relentlessly while Xinyan welcomed more members of the band onto the stage.

He could tell she didn’t like him very much. Oddly enough, their personalities clashed and he supposed it left her with a bad feeling in her mouth, which probably had something to do with Hu Tao’s weird protectiveness over Zhongli. He ignored it at first, giving him space when she was around since she was right to suspect him anyway. He wasn’t exactly the most peaceful person to be with.

It wasn’t as if they had to see each other often, but Zhongli liked it when they were all together. And Childe like seeing the way Zhongli’s lips would curl up when he was really happy. 

At least before he found out that the guy was an archon, that bitch. 

“So you’re leaving just like that?” Hu Tao said. Childe felt his resolve crumble almost immediately when he heard how strangely hurt her voice was. “Months down the drain. Parting on bad terms. That’s never good, you know. Parting on bad terms. Everyone always regrets it in the end. Couples, friends, family. Every fight or ounce of hatred is always smaller than the thought of never seeing them again.”

A beat passed. 

“And guess who has to empty their tissue box when discussing ceremony arrangements, hmm?” 

Childe scoffs. 

Hu Tao eyed him. “You’d think being surrounded by so much death would give you perspective.”

Jesus christ. “You wouldn’t understand, Hu Tao. And I don’t think you can, even if I wanted to tell you. Zhongli isn’t who he says he is–” 

“Oh brother. Spare me, please.” Childe glared. “No, really. If you’re willing to walk away over something as simple as that then you didn’t care for him as much as I thought you did.” 

The harbinger raised an eyebrow at the girl but her eyes were on the stage. He remembered when Zhongli first told him about her, where he was staying, how thoughtful and eccentric and fun it was to be around her. Childe looked forward to meeting her… until she started making fun of him at every possible turn around. It wasn’t even that. Zhongli just forbade him from challenging her to prove her words. Made for really stifling conversation. 

But, albeit, he could see why Zhongli wanted to stick around and look after her as much as she claimed to look after him. Beneath all the crazy was unending wisdom. A delicate tranquility. It was peace in its rawest form. 

Before he and Zhongli became close, he might’ve laughed, tried to push her to her breaking point, would want to see how powerful she could ‘really’ be. To test how much rage he could bring to the surface, beat her in a ‘real fight .’ 

But even as she jabbed at him with her words and saw the frustration leaking out of her tone, he wanted to smile to himself, to crack his head on the nearest stone wall for being too far away from all this at every moment. 

What he would have given to have been born a normal Liyuen, strolling down the street to see a rock n roll concert. To know Hu Tao and her friends and the culture properly. To get the luxury of seeing Zhongli everyday, no pressures from the outside world. No bloodlust controlling his every sober whim. (No being brought to tears at his incompetence with chopsticks either.)

What he would have given just to not walk away. 

“Hu tao! Chongyun ate those chili popsicles I asked him to eat! Like an idiot! ” Childe and Hu Tao both turned their heads to see Xiangling waving excitedly, Xingqiu fanning a wide eyed Chongyun in his arms, muttering what looked like “I hate you all.” 

“Really?” Hu tao said, any seriousness dissolving in an instant.

Xiangling cupped her hands around her mouth. “Said something about having to endure Xingqiu with a clear mind is like having to weather a rain storm naked!” She shrugged. “Xingqiu just asked if Chongyun wanted to come over for dinner and he turned around and shoved his face into the popsicle box!” 

Childe watched with just a bit of amusement as Yanfei conjured a sigil in the air out of fire, eyes glowing red against her natural turquoise. The sigil appeared right at the tip of Chongyun’s nose, barely grazing him before he exploded out of his partner’s arms, flushed and cheering for Xinyan. 

“Oh, by the way. How’s your foot been feeling? Zhongli told me you had a bad ankle roll.” He knew it was an awkward point of conversation but he could see her willing to return to her friends. Maybe he didn’t want to let go. Not just yet.

She turned back around to him, eyebrow raised. “Ankle roll?” 

“You know, with the crutches,” he said, words starting to slow down. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about?” She gasped. “Did Zhongli pull a prank on you? Guess he’s a bitter ex. Hmph. Deserved,” she said, walking away with bravado and joining her friends once more, lost in the crowd.

 Childe stood there for a moment, confused by the words Hu Tao said. 

His eyes skimmed over the various heads and faces in the crowd until they landed on a distant pair of faces printed on a Snezhnayan Wanted Poster, printed directly next to a missing persons poster that appeared in the city shortly after the Osial attack. 

He marched over to the paper, tearing it immediately off the wall, ignoring the people around him. 

The one on the right looked vaguely familiar, especially with the eye patch, the other strange and oddly perfect. 

It read in the formal, Royal dialect that the Fatui used whenever traveling, “WANTED by the FATUI. DANGEROUS PERSONS! One short, pale with blonde hair, teal eyes. One tall with dark skin and blue hair, last seen injured and with a pair of crutches-” 

He crushed the paper beneath his fingers. 

From where he was, he could see Hu Tao laughing merrily with her friends. 

Childe didn’t care. He felt himself pull the humidity out of the air, disbelief and denial clouding any coherent thoughts. 

Things started to add up as he fit puzzle pieces together in his head, water now trailing up and down his hand, anger rising and rising, taking shape in little bolts of electricity dancing across his arms.

He’d been made a fool once again. Zhongli did see the two Khaenri’ahns. He was lying. And Childe just let him slip away-

A shriek, drowned out by the rest of the crowd, sounded to the left and he realized that a bolt of lightning hit a woman beside him, clutching her arm with sleeves burned at the edges. He tried to slow his breathing as he ripped off his glove, cursing as he felt the pain from the small exit wound between his thumb and his palm. 

It was seething, skin black and burnt and torn open by his fury alone. Chest heaving, he lets water cover the wound, forming into the familiar shape of his dual knives. 

He couldn’t see Hu Tao anymore. He didn’t care to look for the stage anymore. As far as Zhongli was concerned, he was dead to Childe. 

The woman would probably lose feeling in her arm permanently but he didn’t care. Maybe Hu Tao would come looking for him, but he didn’t care. He missed it. The feeling of not feeling. 

The feeling of the world falling around him, having one clear cut goal and nothing in the way. The hands that once itched for a fight were now craving it again, scars, wounds, and all. 

In a sense he was free. Guilt and regret and wishes all fading away as the ice cracked. Now he didn’t even have to choose between worlds, between idols and archons. 

Both use him like a pawn, sure, but at least the Tsaritsa is upfront about it. Doesn’t take the time to maneuver his heartstrings like a puppeteer. He’d sworn an oath long ago to her, given up every ounce of loyalty and heart. For Rex Lapis, he had none to spare.

Ajax really was the weakest. But Tartaglia had a mission. Childe would be the one to complete it. 

He’d sworn an oath long ago. 

Long ago when he slipped on his harbinger mask with not a smile, but the handcrafted empty face of a perfect soldier, just as he did in that concert crowd, watching the shocked woman as he faded between bodies. 

That day long ago his heart wasn’t tender as it was with him. His eyes didn’t have light in them like they did just only a few weeks ago, blinded by building a future in his mind with the deceiving jackass. 

He was a killer. And he had his place. 

What he had with Zhongli wasn’t love. It was idiocy. He should’ve known better. 

She was the one who showed him mercy— purpose, power. 

She once told him that his loyalty was his best quality. So he couldn’t disappoint her. 

Only the people immediately around him scrambled away with faces ranging from confusion to petrification. They parted while the girl on stage continued to play on, majority of the crowd remaining unaware of just who was in their presence. The space grew until it reached the group of teenagers singing loudly along to the Fontaine ballad. 

His eyes caught Hu Tao’s once more in between phrases. His heart stuttered when he caught her doing a double take, turning back to him, face twisting from a smile to something a bit more wary. 

He watched as her hand slowly reached behind her, trying to summon her spear slyly, even though the massive spearhead gave it away almost instantly. 

He watched as the friends beside her saw her expression, laughters dying to house something more serious. The hydro user wrapped an arm around Chongyun, hand reaching for the blue gemstone that glowed brighter with each passing second. The pyro users beside her stared at him with scarlet eyes, watching and waiting for Tartaglia to make the next move, the crowd cheering ignorantly all around them. 

His legs sang, blades already angling for their necks. Just the thought of meeting them in battle caused his stomach to curl with pleasure. 

But something stopped him from moving forward. He wanted to with all his gut, but with as much energy that his limbs were buzzing with, Hu Tao’s steeled stare dampened them. 

He scowled behind his mask, slowly taking steps backward, drawing water from beneath the boardwalk. His eyes didn’t leave Hu Tao’s until a wall of water was between them, swirling around him, letting his body slip away between stray droplets. 

He melted between the planks of wood, one message branded on his heart, in his head, and stamped onto his tongue,  the words drowning out every other thought that tainted his mind in Liyue. 

Long live the Tsaritsa and her everlasting love.

… 

The creature writhed and screamed in its chains. It made the man smile wider behind his mask. 

“Tell the rest of the abyss mages that they have a new objective,” he ordered to no one in particular. They would listen anyhow, achieve it one way or another. He kept his eyes focused on the being with agitated claws, wriggling in its chains, trying fruitlessly to do some harm to its captor. “Humans have grown so boring . Don’t you agree?” 

The small robot holding the tray of delusions didn’t reply. The man didn’t notice. The closer he held the hydro device the more agitated the hillichurl became. 

The veins on the creature started to protrude and just as quickly as his smile arrived, it fell, watching as an ink-like substance started to materialize on the creature's skin. 

“Write a letter to the Tsaritsa,” he started as the liquid began to drip from behind the creature's mask. He brought the delusion to the side of its face and ink started to pour out more and more, covering the golden hay that surrounded the mask. 

“We know why hillichurl’s are becoming increasingly aggressive and–” The creature started to cry out, clawing at its mask. Dottore’s eyes lit up as he watched the ivory-like material 

break, straw spilling all over. 

The hillichurl managed to snap the mask in half, one side falling to the ground as the other, cracked, was swiped at, refusing to come off. 

Dottore’s words fell away as he watched the animal switch between whimpering and growling aggressively at the jewel in his hand. When Dottore started moving it closer, delusion grew brighter, the creature starting to turn its swipes toward itself. Skin broke right away, housing more black ooze. It was so… beautiful. The ink and blood swirling in the remaining hay strands.

A raw feeling of pleasure erupted inside him, all the pieces of the puzzle were coming together and once again he was twenty three steps ahead of the smartest scientists in Teyvat, fumbling around for answers as they tried to protect their regions and countries from a dying world. He held all the power—the knowledge— in his right hand. 

He was a god among men. Among harbingers. Servant only to the Tsaritsa’s will. And his own of course.

A smile wormed its way onto his face as ink poured out of the hillichurl’s eyes like tears, though Dottore knew if he held the delusion any closure, it would probably rip them right out of their sockets. He was tempted, don’t get him wrong, but that would ruin the gorgeous spectacle right in front of him. 

Two pleading, glowing, golden eyes staring right back at him. 

The creature’s snout kept inching toward the gem but Dottore pulled it backwards. “Ah, ah, ah,” he said, tantalizing. “ Behave. The easier you make my job for me, the easier you’ll make it for yourself. Though I must admit,” he inched it back closer, watching something distort and wiggle beneath the creature’s skin. It followed the delusion, much to the hillichurls dismay. “I do love it when they’re defiant.” 

After all, screams never made it outside of the lab. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Tell her majesty that we also made contact with what’s been leaking out of the abyss.” He waved around the delusion, the hillichurl’s snout—which previously bared an instinctive rage— now helplessly thrown about like it was being pulled on by a string. 

He teased the creature in a sing-song. 

“ And we know just exactly where it went~”