Chapter Text
The last thing Mutsuki remembers before falling asleep at around midnight is reading Takatsuki Sen’s novel The Black Goat’s Egg at his desk. He’s pretty sure he didn’t fall asleep in an unfamiliar café for over ten hours, because he would remember something like that, right?
Mutsuki yawns quietly and wipes the sleep from his eyes, quickly lifting his eyepatch in the process. He takes a moment to take in his surroundings.
The café is warm, sunlight softly filtering through the nearby trees and casting the café and the cherry wood wainscoting in a warm glow. He is sitting at a round table, The Black Goat’s Egg placed exactly in the centre. From his window seat he can see a bar, which is also adorned with cherry wood and stainless steel. Behind the bar are shelves stocked with an amalgam of glass jars filled with coffee beans and spices, and a pair of ornate pink and blue teacups.
The café is bustling with customers and waiters moving around the small but classy space. Mutsuki scans the room for any signs as to where in the world he is right now, but the only thing he takes notice of is the two copies of The Black Goat’s Egg, owned by two different customers.
The first is a bespectacled young woman with long purple hair. She is sitting by herself reading the book, although every so often she peeks up at the other owner and adjusts the top of her dress to reveal more cleavage. Mutsuki grimaces and turns to the second person, a baby-faced boy with neat black hair and large grey eyes, probably around his age. He is sitting with the novel leaning against the table, and occasionally sips from a cup.
Mutsuki admits that he is always hyperaware of his surroundings. It started around when he was twelve, when he would hear catcalls and men whispering about his body. But even though he has transitioned into a man, the habit has stuck with him. So instead of leaving the café and heading back to the Quinx apartment, he sticks around to observe the two people who are coincidentally reading the same novel that he had been reading before he fell asleep. Plus, something seems familiar about that boy. But he needs to confirm something first.
The investigator checks his pockets for change, which he has, miraculously. He briefly checks the menu, raises his hand, and a waitress quickly arrives. If he’s staying here, he might as well not give a reason for the employees to kick him out for not ordering anything.
“Can I get a Peruvian ro-“ Mutsuki trails off and stares at the waitress with wide eyes.
“Peruvian roast? Would you like sugar and cream with that?”
Mutsuki doesn’t answer.
“Uh, sir? Are you alright?” The waitress leans in towards Mutsuki, which finally brings him out of his thoughts.
“Um, yes. Both, please,” he stammers, and the girl nods and leaves the table to fill his order.
Even though her hair is a different colour and is a lot less fluffier, Mutsuki is certain that that waitress is the younger version of Kirishima-san, the barista of the :re café that the boss frequents.
I’m pretty sure this is a dream now…but how did I even come up with stuff like this? At least this isn’t one of my nightmares where I lose control like…
Mutsuki shivers at the memory. He likes Sasaki, he really does. The Quinx mentor is one of the kindest (and dorkiest) people that he has ever met, taking care of Mutsuki and the others as if they were his own children. He is the closest thing to a family that Mutsuki has. But when he saw Sasaki with his kagune out, cracking his fingers loudly and spearing Serpent in the gut with a sadistic and deranged grin, Mutsuki couldn’t help but think that he was going to die, not Serpent. Even though Sasaki had risked his life to protect the squad, Mutsuki has been slightly apprehensive of him ever since. Every time he thinks of Sasaki Haise the SS-rated half-ghoul, the anxiety clutches his chest and refuses to let him breath.
“One Peruvian roast with sugar and cream.”
Mutsuki snaps back to attention and his eyes refocus on Kirishima-san, who is holding a tray of his coffee and the sugar and cream.
“Thank you very much,” he replies as the waitress places the coffee on the circular table.
“No problem. Also,” she pauses as if she is trying to find the right words, “are you feeling well? You were looking a bit pale there.”
“Yes, yes, don’t worry,” he reassures her.
She smiles. “Alright, then. If you need any-“
“Ah, actually, there is one thing! Sorry,” Mutsuki apologizes sheepishly when he realizes that he interrupted her, “but what is this café called?”
Kirishima-san looks at the investigator in disbelief. “You mean you came in here without looking at the sign in the front of the store?”
“Um, yeah!” Mutsuki laughs, albeit slightly forcefully. “I was just paying too much attention to my book.”
The waitress looks down and sees the Takatsuki novel. She snorts. “What a coincidence. You have the same book as those two.” She motions towards the two that Mutsuki had spotted earlier. “You three should start a Takatsuki Sen book club or something.”
“Maybe…”
“I should warn you though,” she leans in towards Mutsuki’s ear, “don’t go near that girl. She’s trouble.”
Mutsuki looks at her quizzically. “Why? She seems nice enough.”
“Anything but,” she mutters under her breath. “But if you value your life, don’t talk to her, alright?”
Surprised at how genuine her warning seems, Mutsuki nods.
“Why are you telling me this though? I’ve never met you before.”
Kirishima-san unconsciously turns her head to the right. To where the black-haired boy is sitting, Mutsuki notes.
“I don’t know why. But you remind me of someone I know. Anyways, I need to serve the other customers. I hope you enjoy your coffee.”
The waitress turns her head back towards Mutsuki one last time.
“Ah, I almost forgot. Welcome to Anteiku.”
Anteiku, Anteiku…where have I heard that before? Mutsuki ponders thoughtfully. He taps his fingers against the still-full coffee mug. As he had suspected after taking a sip of the tasteless coffee, this was a dream. Not that he hadn’t realized it though after seeing the younger Kirishima-san.
Anteiku…I’m sure I’ve heard of it while I was at the CCG Academy though.
The investigator’s thoughts are interrupted again, this time by the screech of a chair leg scraping against the floor. From his peripheral vision Mutsuki sees the violet-haired girl leave the table with her cup and tray in hand. She walks past him and inches closer and closer to the boy, until…
“S-sorry!” the boy exclaims.
“I’m sorry,” the girl says, embarrassed to have knocked over a stranger’s book right out of his hands. Mutsuki sees her pick up the boy’s novel and stare at it intently. Smooth, she did that on purpose.
“Oh, this is interesting. I was just reading that too…do you like her? Takatsuki?” she asks him.
The boy stares at her breathtaking smile before half-shouting like a kid on Christmas morning, “Y-y-y-yes! I absolutely love Takatsuki Sen!”
Mutsuki has to look away due to the second-hand embarrassment. Not like he is any better though. Mistaking a dog as a ghoul is way more cringe worthy.
Wait a second…second-hand embarrassment? Why didn’t I notice it before?
Mutsuki looks back up immediately at the boy, and listens as he goes on about his favourite Takatsuki novels. The investigator sighs. No wonder that guy looked so familiar…he’s Sasaki-san! Or rather, will be Sasaki eventually…he looks so young though, almost like a child.
Mutsuki blinks, and the tranquil morning scene transforms into night time. He is no longer in the café, but in a dingy room and sitting at a wooden desk. He looks out at the night sky, without a single star in sight thanks to Tokyo’s light pollution. There is a construction crane on the other side of the building, and several steel beams are attached to it. Another part of my dream, huh.
He hears a commotion outside, and peeks his head out and looks down at the dark alley. In the remnants of the dim streetlight are two silhouettes…Sasaki and the girl. At least, he’s pretty sure it’s the girl, because he can only see her backside.
So he went on a date with her, Mutsuki smiles. The girl leans in towards Sasaki and places her head against his shoulder, and the boy stiffens at the contact. Mutsuki shifts his eyes at the PDA, but something compels him to keep watching. He looks back just in time to see the girl lift her head and –
A shrill scream accompanies a loud chomp. Sasaki falls onto the ground, and his body is shaking in terror. The girl remains standing.
What’s going on? What happened to the boss? If only it was a bit brighter so I can see what’s going on! Mutsuki cups his ears towards the two, and he can just make out what the girl is saying.
“…where the Black Goat catches a man who’s running away in bewilderment and rips out all his entrails,” she sings mockingly. “No matter how many times I read that part, it always makes me shudder,” she says, her voice dropping down an octave.
Mutsuki shivers. He knows what’s going to happen, but he could be wrong, right? Absolutely off the mark.
And then he hears that familiar whoosh and crackling sound, and Mutsuki’s heart sinks. He watches, completely frozen as the girl’s kagune (which looks a lot like Sasaki’s) is let out. The tentacles undulate through the air, four snakes obeying their snake charmer. He watches as Sasaki finally gets up and runs away from his date, screaming in terror until the kagune wraps around his ankle and pulls him back towards hell. He watches as the ghoul guts Sasaki, his blood painting the sidewalks and buildings. His mentor is dying, but Mutsuki can’t do a thing about it.
Move you idiot oh god I can’t do it I can’t do it I can’t even save the boss in a dream why am I so useless I can’t even control the stupid kakugan and the kagune I don’t wanna end up like Sasaki but I don’t wanna be useless and weak why am I even here why am I even a Quinx why did I get the dumb operation oh god I need to help him–
All Mutsuki hears is the ghoul’s crazed laughter and derisive voice. A bright light flashes across his field of vision, and he instinctively looks at the source: a crane that is slowly moving its load off the roof of the building and right onto where–
“No!” he shrieks. Noticing a fire escape right outside, he climbs out the window and hoists himself over the railing onto the fire escape. He sprints down the stairs, skipping two to three steps each stride. When he reaches the end, he jumps several feet down onto the ground without a blink. He turns around, and Sasaki is leaning against the wall, looking up at the ghoul. He looks like he is about to cry. Even if the girl is a ghoul and about to have a meal, if Mutsuki doesn’t warn them about the steel beams, then Sasaki won’t survive.
“Hey!” Mutsuki screams as he runs towards them. “Move! Get away from there!” I need to do something. I need to be helpful.
The ghoul looks at Mutsuki, her beautiful face twisted irately. But all Mutsuki can see are her kakugan, red irises practically glowing in the black abyss of her eyes.
Then clunk goes the steel beams, and he can almost see it in slow motion as it flattens the ghoul into a bloody pancake of cracked limbs and twitching red snakes, and the scene suddenly shifts again.
He is gripping a cup of water tightly, and downs it in one go. Water splashes onto his shirt. He runs to the fridge and pulls random items out. He drinks the milk straight from the carton, and his stomach lurches painfully. He rushes to the sink and regurgitates it. Hamburger, comes back out as ground beef. Apple, back out as applesauce. Chips, back out as runny mashed potatoes. The sink is clogged. The floor rocks unevenly as he stumbles to the bathroom and feeds the toilet. Pounding headache and body shivers. He washes his mouth as best he can. Gripping the bathroom sink, he looks up at the mirror to see the reflection of former Sasaki, pale face with water dripping down his face, left eye with a black sclera and red iris.
Mutsuki falls onto a hardwood floor. He lies there, limbs sprawled and forehead touching the ground. He heaves; his heart feels like it’s going to burst. He slowly lifts his hand to his face, feels the cotton eyepatch covering his kakugan and sighs in relief. Just a dream, nothing more.
“Excuse me? Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m alright,” Mutsuki responds automatically. He slowly gets back on his feet, and realizes he is back at Anteiku. Thank goodness, this is a lot better.
He turns around to thank the person, and freezes. He points, and the only thing he can think to say is:
“I thought you were dead!”