Chapter Text
The Drama Archives
(Tuesday evening)
goth gamer ghost: guys I’m boooored. someone entertain me 🥺
honeyfeather (medicine cat): Why don’t you help out around the flat?
goth gamer ghost: id rather die :/
honeyfeather (medicine cat): Well, then, I guess I can’t help you.
Tea expert: throwing u some puzzle toys to enrich your enclosure
Timmy hawks pro skater: lmao
goth gamer ghost: jon jon jon u should get a cat
goth gamer ghost: I’ll start feeding the alley strays to gain their trust
goth gamer ghost: then KIDNAP one of their kind… >:)
Archivist 2- the archiving: is it really kidnapping if they go willingly?
goth gamer ghost: well yes because I am doing it with nefarious intent
Timmy hawks pro skater: this is us lol
Timmy hawks pro skater: [image: a renaissance painting of many philosophers having a conversation.]
Tea expert: so true
honeyfeather (medicine cat): Hey, you all never actually told me who Martin’s crush is.
Tea expert: and if I have my way, you never will find out ! ^w^
Timmy hawks pro skater: sorry boss, I’m bound by the bro code never to snitch
honeyfeather (medicine cat): Far be it from me to ask you to violate “the bro code”.
Timmy hawks pro skater: is that sass I detect in your text, boss?
goth gamer ghost: omg jon what kind of work environment are you dithering here
Archivist 2- the archiving: dithering
Tea expert: dithering
goth gamer ghost: *fostering
goth gamer ghost: well this is embarrassing
goth gamer ghost: bored again :/
Timmy hawks pro skater: flirt w me in a private chat? ;)
goth gamer ghost: idk I’ve never interacted with a human being before
Archivist 2- the archiving: dw you’ll do fine tim is easy to flirt with
Archivist 2- the archiving: u just have to compliment his big strong arms and he swoons like a victorian maiden
Timmy hawks pro skater: >:/
Timmy hawks pro skater: fr tho gerry ;) text me
honeyfeather (medicine cat): Just not during work hours, please.
Timmy hawks pro skater: fucks you
Timmy hawks pro skater: KUCK
Timmy hawks pro skater: FUCK
Timmy hawks pro skater: aaauuuuwauwuauwauwsuwuauwa
Tea expert: tim it’s okay we know what you meant
Archivist 2- the archiving: damn everyone wants a piece of jon
Archivist 2- the archiving: what’s ur secret mr library man
honeyfeather (medicine cat): I genuinely don’t understand the appeal. I have all of the appeal of a wet rat.
Timmy hawks pro skater: u can’t tell me I have bad taste in men when my taste in men is literally you
honeyfeather (medicine cat): I have low self esteem, Timothy.
Tea expert: smacking you with a rolled up newspaper idc if you’re my boss quit being so mean
Archivist 2- the archiving: Martin finally entering his mean bitch era ☺️
goth gamer ghost: Martin have I ever told u that u are incredible
Tea expert: uhhhhhhu no u
goth gamer ghost: damn we all have low self esteem huh
Archivist 2- the archiving: speak for yourself im hot shit
honeyfeather (medicine cat): Figured out where all the self esteem went, guys. Sasha’s been hoarding it.
Archivist 2- the archiving: guilty as charged 😏
Dumbass Squad And Also Georgie <3
(Wednesday afternoon)
Goopster: oh my god I just hashtag girlbossed my way into a free trip to America
Goopster: and by “just” I mean I checked into the hotel three hours ago lol
georgie: omg are u safe
sickly victorian child: what’s it like?
Goopster: made small talk with a guy from Texas. I’m in maryland
Goopster: don’t ask why im across the whole damn sea but now im going to a place called Sweet Frog
honeyfeather (medicine cat): What on earth is that?
georgie: fascinating
Goopster: it’s a froyo chain. locals were distraught to overhear id never been so i guess im going
honeyfeather (medicine cat): Good luck. Stay safe out there.
sickly victorian child: looking forward to hearing ur yelp review chris
(Wednesday evening)
Goopster: here is the rundown of what my Sweet Frog experience was
Goopster: pretty okay! They let u fill ur own cup w whatever froyo u want and put toppings on urself. Subway take notes
sickly victorian child: that sounds… interesting
georgie: sounds like a health & safety hazard
Goopster: yeah it probably is but w/e lol
Goopster: the kid in front of me in line filled his cup almost entirely with gummy frogs. i felt a spiritual connection to him
honeyfeather (medicine cat): Would you recommend it?
Goopster: gummies freeze rock hard when u put them in froyo so no I would not recommend
honeyfeather (medicine cat): I meant the chain as a whole.
Goopster: meh. it was fun and enriching but realizing they r Christian bc of one of the tshirts they sell being about god was off-putting
sickly victorian child: what does froyo have to do with god lmao
Goopster: ikr!! anyways I am falling unconscious gn <3
honeyfeather (medicine cat): Goodnight, Chris. <3
sickly victorian child: gn!! <3