Codas
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"I found a way to make you smile."
A 9x10 Coda
Series
- Part 1 of Codas
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A "Blade Runners" coda.
Series
- Part 2 of Codas
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Sam stared cockeyed, taken aback by the suggestion. The implications were there, plain as day. “So you want him to… drink your blood?”
A 9x21 Coda
Series
- Part 3 of Codas
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“Do you trust me?” you ask, because it took Dean this long to agree to go here, and though him backing out would be disappointing, it’s entirely up to him to follow through.
Post 9x22
Series
- Part 4 of Codas
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Castiel finds you in your Heaven, and then proceeds to lose his shit.
A 9x23 Coda
Series
- Part 5 of Codas
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You don’t want to be free. You just want your brother back.
A post S9 Coda
Series
- Part 6 of Codas
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You like to touch him. He doesn’t tell you to stop. He never has.
Series
- Part 7 of Codas
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If you had your wings, you would fly to him. Take him from the confessional, tell him the things he needs to hear. But what can you do when the man you care for the most can’t even dare look you in the eye, even when you’re a thousand miles apart?
Series
- Part 8 of Codas
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It’s not the dreams where his skin is being methodically flayed from bone that has him screaming the loudest – it’s when he’s behind the knife, staring into the eyes of his all too-familiar victims.
Series
- Part 9 of Codas
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You don't hear him when he comes in – then, you suppose, you never do. He walks like he’s on air, like he just flaps into whatever room he wishes like he’s supposed to exist there indefinitely. Well, used to. Now, he wanders from room to room, and you swear one day you’re going to strap a collar around his neck or put LoJack in his coat. At least then, you’ll be able to tell where he is.
Series
- Part 10 of Codas
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This isn’t an act of selfishness, what he’s doing—this is purely out of the need to calm down, bring himself back down to reality.
Series
- Part 11 of Codas
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Out of all the things to anchor Dean to reality, you never expected yourself to be his rock.
Series
- Part 12 of Codas
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It takes you a month to get the last of the dings out of her frame.
Series
- Part 13 of Codas
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“We don’t deserve to hurt each other, and we don’t deserve to come home every day and act like nothing has happened.” He sighs, almost hysteric. “I didn’t think love felt like death.”
Series
- Part 14 of Codas
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It tastes like sulfur when Castiel kisses you for the first time.
Series
- Part 15 of Codas
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You wake with an inhale for the second time that night, hands desperately gripping the sheets pulled tight around you, head thrown to the side. Dreams—these are dreams, and they’re haunting. Dreams of Castiel sitting on the banks, half dead and wary, looking at something across the lake, something that isn’t there. Castiel doesn't communicate this way, at least not often; the last time was years ago, to deliver a message after being ripped from his vessel. But he has his own body now—he shouldn't be able to distance himself, should he?
Could he?
Series
- Part 16 of Codas
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Lucifer may be gone, but something's not right with Castiel.
Series
- Part 17 of Codas
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There’s no rush, at least at first. A nod and a more than crude gesture under the bar, well out of sight of everyone else downing shot after shot of tequila and whiskey, and Gunner follows you down the hall and into the restroom.
Series
- Part 18 of Codas
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Your chest aches all the way back to Lebanon.
Not from something physical—as far as you can tell, nothing is wrong, at least nothing to be concerned about—but something more ingrained, a sadness that’s almost always there, regardless of hour, season, moon.
Series
- Part 19 of Codas
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“I tried to hunt,” Castiel confides, letting out a sigh that nearly deflates him at his core. “I tried to fill the void, thinking, what would Sam and Dean have done? But I couldn’t even do that. I’m not you, yet… I’ve become you. One of you, at least. I feel things, Dean, things you know all too well but I’ve yet to even fathom. I feared for your life. I spent every day, every minute here thinking, listening for your call. I sat at your desk, in the library, anywhere, waiting, trying to remember your face, your voice.
“And I thought, what if they killed him?”
Series
- Part 20 of Codas