“I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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wanted to kiss your skin and your everything by FlowerCitti
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
20 Aug 2023
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Your fingers brush over the pages of the open sketchbook in your lap, a charcoal stick held in your other hand. You flick it over your knuckles, tounging at the back of your teeth as you allow your wrist to move with your flowing thoughts.
You think of Astarion’s words from the first time you had caught him gazing into that broken mirror, fresh on your mind even if it feels like it’s been ages since you’d heard them.
“I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. What you see.”
(Or, you draw Astarion to show him what he looks like.)
Series
- Part 1 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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i love a good place to hide (in plain sight) by FlowerCitti
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
22 Aug 2023
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“What?” Astarion seems nearly speechless, his silver tongue gone heavy in his mouth as he blinks, coming damn close to outright stuttering, “I—I mean, surely you—I’ve seen how you look at me!” He huffs, looking frustrated and confused and completely thrown off.
It’s almost endearing, to see him grow so flustered, his suave persona melting through his shock. You can’t help but smile, “I’m just not really interested in sex. That’s all.” You shrug, and Astarion looks at you as if that tadpole in your head has finally started to transform you.
(Or, you don’t want sex. Astarion doesn’t know what to make of that.)
Series
- Part 2 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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Don’t Fall Away From Me by FlowerCitti for TheGayBabyJailWarden (NerdOfTheHour)
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
24 Aug 2023
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“What—what do you see, when you look at me?”
Astarion’s lips twitch into an instinctive smile, both curious and confused. “You needn’t use me as a mirror, love, surely you can see that handsome face of yours all on your own.”
Yanis’s mouth parts for a moment, suddenly feeling ridiculous for having even asked, but Astarion swiftly continues before he can get a word out.
“But really, darling, if you wanted me to return the favor, you only needed to ask. I’m always happy to oblige.”
(Or, Astarion is surprisingly good at giving comfort.)
Series
- Part 3 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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Summary
It has been a very long time since Astarion has cared for another living soul outside of his own. What good would it have done him, in the face of Cazador?
But then he finally tasted freedom again—and then there was Tav.
After two centuries of pure shit, of torture and existing as the barest sliver of a person, Astarion began to remember what it felt like to care.
(Or, Tav teaches Astarion how to be selfless.)
Series
- Part 4 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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suck the rot right out of my bloodstream by FlowerCitti
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
31 Aug 2023
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Summary
Astarion moves his legs just slightly to press against Casmir’s broad shoulder, a teasing point of contact. The tiefling doesn’t shift away.
But his hands still haven’t moved to tend to Astarion’s wound. “Can I touch you?”
Astarion stares at them for a few moments, meeting that burning gaze, fanned by thick lashes. People don’t often ask him that—they just do. It didn’t matter whether he wanted them to or not, only that he was a pretty thing they wanted to get their hands on.
He shakes his head before he can fade away into bad memories, blinking several times. He smirks instead, slipping into flirtation easily, eyes lidded and something like revulsion at himself bubbling in his gut, “As much as you’d like, my dear.”
(Or, Astarion has had his consent revoked for over two centuries. Then he meets Casmir.)
Series
- Part 5 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
- Part 1 of Ebony and Silver
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the late afternoon (the ghost in your room) by FlowerCitti
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
02 Sep 2023
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Summary
Casmir is strangely quiet above him. Astarion hums quietly, lips pressing a kiss against his abdomen.
“Was that good, darling?” He teases, though there’s a genuine question in his tone as he smiles into the man’s skin, feeling both warm and content.
There’s a sticky heat on the back of Astarion’s neck, curving down his nape, and as he breathes he realizes that Casmir still hasn’t said a word. He looks up curiously to find Casmir’s hand suspended in air, his claws stained red.
(Or, Casmir gets distracted and scratches Astarion a little too hard. He doesn’t take it well.)
Series
- Part 6 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
- Part 2 of Ebony and Silver
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Summary
He didn’t have much of a frame of reference to compare Casmir to, of course, not when his parade of lovers were excluded to nights that ended in their deaths. But what he has with Casmir is—different. Wholly unique in its own right. Astarion cares about them more than he ever has for another person before, and the thought is still just a little terrifying.
And even if Astarion still doesn’t quite understand it, it was obvious that Casmir cared about him too.
So there he laid with a new problem—intimacy. Sex. Fucking. Whatever you wished to bloody call it.
(Or, Astarion realizes that he doesn’t want sex.)
Series
- Part 7 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
- Part 3 of Ebony and Silver
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you only feel it when it’s lost (gettin’ through still has a cost) by FlowerCitti
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
06 Sep 2023
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Summary
Astarion is quiet, when all is said and done.
Casmir keeps a careful eye on him as they make their trek back to the inn, somewhere they can rest and heal. Astarion is unsteady on his feet, floaty, his ruby eyes glassy. As if he were miles and miles away from here, as if he were still in that Gods damned castle. He’s swallowed by Casmir’s undershirt, the only thing the tiefling had on hand that he could spare for him. Astarion’s pale face is stained copper with blood, clumps stuck in his hair and caught in his flickering lashes.
(Or, Casmir takes care of Astarion after Cazador’s death.)
Series
- Part 8 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
- Part 4 of Ebony and Silver
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water down what I call being grateful by FlowerCitti for LadyRagnelle
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
11 Sep 2023
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Summary
Casmir laughs softly, Astarion’s flirting washing over him and rolling off like water against silken feathers. He had realized early that it was a careful mask, Astarion’s face like the perfect porcelain of a doll and his eyes just as dead. Casmir has to wonder how no one else had noticed before—and then realizes that they likely hadn’t wanted to. Astarion was beautiful and his words were honeyed and dripping sweetness, anything with a pulse would likely weep to have his attentions turned on them.
But Casmir could see behind it every once in a while, finding something much quieter and more precious than what Astarion put on like a veneer of glitter and gold.
(Or, Casmir likes doing kind things for Astarion. Astarion doesn't know how to deal with that.)
Series
- Part 9 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
- Part 5 of Ebony and Silver
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Summary
Astarion feels like a starving fox released into a pen of chickens.
His lean fingers pick at his cravat, easing out invisible wrinkles, his tongue tracing along his own fangs. His eyes dart over the street, his head full of new scents and sounds, pounding at the back of his skull. He can taste the pulses of the people that pass him by, can smell the blood that rushes through their veins, intoxicating in its temptation.
He feels like a ravenous animal, a stalking predator just barely blending in amongst a sea of prey. But whoever he finds, Cazador had instructed for them to still be breathing by the time Astarion brings them back. He can’t rip the throat from the first thing he sees, no matter how much he finds himself aching to. There’s an impossible emptiness inside of him now, a growing abyss, and he finds himself wanting.
(Or, Astarion and the prince who swept him off his feet long after he had given up on happy endings.)
Series
- Part 10 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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A New Light by FlowerCitti for TheGayBabyJailWarden (NerdOfTheHour)
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
26 Oct 2023
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Summary
Astarion knows that there’s a steep price to this kind of magic. He knows it the moment that Yanis and him get tangled in it—looking for a cure to heal his vampirism.
It’s not easy. Nothing in life is.
But after two centuries of living as a monster, he’d do just about anything to change it. He’d do anything to be able to see to sun again, to hold Yanis’s hand in the daylight, to do something as fucking domestic as go to the food stalls with him and the fairs he doesn’t even like. To feel warm rays on pale flesh that thrummed with life, to have a heartbeat behind the empty cavity of his chest, a pulse for lips to press against.
(Or, Astarion finds a way to cure his vampirism. It doesn’t go the way he plans.)
Series
- Part 11 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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Summary
There’s a slight twitch to Wyll’s expression, as if he wants to say something but refrains with a soft snort, “You needn’t thank me, but I will accept it. I don’t exactly have a habit of letting my friends careen to their deaths if I can help it, you know.”
Astarion raises a brow, “Friends, are we?” He says, and what he means to be derisive sounds curious—sounds hesitant and genuine. He would swallow his own tongue, if he could.
Wyll smiles, his thumb brushing over the puncture wounds on his wrist, almost reverently, “I would say so, yes. However unlikely it might have seemed at first.”
Astarion looks away for a long moment, his jaw working as he swallows. He’s never had a friend before, none that he remembers, at least. And how pathetic does that sound?
(Or, Astarion’s life means something to someone other than just himself.)
Series
- Part 12 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
- Part 1 of Flower’s Whumptober 2023 Collection
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Summary
“Astarion?” The voice is deep and soft, familiar in its warmth. Astarion’s head tilts towards the sound of it, slowly making out the features of a kind face, chestnut hair brushing over broad shoulders.
Astarion’s jaw works, his tongue pressing at the back of his teeth, his entire head aching. “Halsin?” He croaks, the melodic lilt of his voice sounding like the scratch of a sickly beast. His throat feels as if he had swallowed glass, and then he had been kicked in the esophagus for good measure.
(Or, Astarion grows sick. Halsin takes care of him.)
Series
- Part 2 of Flower’s Whumptober 2023 Collection
- Part 13 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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Summary
He screams, unholy and pitched and ripped from him like something desperate. He beats against the stone though he knows it will do nothing but hurt him, his head already fuzzy from the pain, blood coated behind his teeth and tangled in his curls. He might even cause the rock to crush him, should he wriggle any further.
Perhaps it’d be merciful enough to kill him. It would be preferable to being stuck here in the invasive quiet and the dark, helpless and unable to fight his way out.
A year of silence—he could not bear to do it again.
(Or, Astarion is trapped beneath rubble. Gale comes to his rescue.)
Series
- Part 3 of Flower’s Whumptober 2023 Collection
- Part 14 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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Summary
“Do you plan to fuck me tonight? Or am I to be forced to wait till morning?” He mutters, like acid on his tongue, lips curled up in annoyance. Astarion doesn’t quite know why he’s rushing him. He really does rather like the feeling of just Halsin’s lips brushing over his nape. It’s a soft, pleasant sensation, a firm kiss being pressed into his shoulder. The gentle warmth of it is enough to make Astarion shudder.
Perhaps that is the problem, after all—the point of this has certainly never been about Astarion’s enjoyment.
(Or, Halsin notices Astarion slipping away during an intimate moment.)
Series
- Part 4 of Flower’s Whumptober 2023 Collection
- Part 15 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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looking the worst (but never not sweet) by FlowerCitti
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
06 Oct 2023
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Summary
“Really, darling, I’m just fine—” His eyes squeeze shut over a sudden wave of nausea, his gut roiling dangerously, bracing himself against the counter. He carefully counts the measure of his breathing, even if it is unneeded.
“Astarion?” Wyll says with concern, his hand immediately resting gently between his quivering shoulders, “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head, blinking past the dots that dance across his vision, “Nothing. Just—just might have had a bit too much to drink, I think.” He rubs over his nose bridge, trying to ease away the pulsing ache in his head.
(Or, Astarion is drugged in a tavern.)
Series
- Part 5 of Flower’s Whumptober 2023 Collection
- Part 16 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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Summary
“Did you have a bad dream?” Casmir asks suddenly, looking up at Astarion with eyes like dripping honey, glassy with something Astarion can’t name.
Astarion repositions himself over the log they’re both perched upon, shifting with a sudden uneasiness, “I don’t sleep. You know this.”
“But you still—dream, to some extent. Relive memories when you trance.”
Astarion does, as much as he wishes that he wouldn’t.
(Or, Astarion’s tadpole unexpectedly shares a bad memory with Casmir.)
Series
- Part 6 of Flower’s Whumptober 2023 Collection
- Part 17 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
- Part 6 of Ebony and Silver
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like real people do by FlowerCitti for secretgardens (blanknight)
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
09 Oct 2023
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“A bit like a pack rat, really. Can’t leave a single thing behind, can she?” He tells Halsin, but Lily hears him, her head twitching in acknowledgment.
“Well, I kept you, didn’t I?” She teases without even turning to look back at him, shoving a handful of bloodied rings into her pouch.
Halsin claps Astarion on the back with a warm laugh, “That she did, my friend.”
(Or, Astarion learning the intricacies of intimacy through Halsin and Lily.)
Series
- Part 18 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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lovely to sit between comfort and chaos by FlowerCitti
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
11 Oct 2023
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Summary
He cannot hear, and he cannot see.
He’s breathless with panic, a vibrant ache in his chest as he scrambles for the dagger on his thigh. His shaky fingers close around the handle of it, nothing but muscle memory—but with neither sight nor hearing, it would do him little good. Armed or not, he was an impossibly easy target.
(Or, Astarion temporarily goes blind and deaf. It’s not fun.)
Series
- Part 7 of Flower’s Whumptober 2023 Collection
- Part 19 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)
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Summary
Karlach smiles at him as the sun begins to set, her eyes softening around the corners, a nervous look flickering over her features. And Astarion is already expecting what comes next, but it still feels like shards of ice blooming behind his ribs.
“Do you think I can sleep in your tent tonight? Now that I can’t hurt you or set the damn thing on fire.” She asks with a breathy chuckle, an uncharacteristic anxiety making her shift on her feet, her bottom lip caught under her teeth. He has no disillusions on what her words could mean. She’s not likely looking to do much sleeping when she is free to touch him now.
(Or, Karlach can freely touch the people she loves now. Astarion makes a few wrong assumptions.)
Series
- Part 8 of Flower’s Whumptober 2023 Collection
- Part 20 of “I feel safe with you.” (Astarion Fics)