I Always Want You When I'm Finally Fine
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Title from I Bet On Losing Dogs by Mitski
After a transfer from your last residency you had high hopes for PTMC, and Robby only made them higher. He sees into you, through you, to the bits of yourself you’ve done such a good job of tucking neatly away. It’s amazing really, the way he pulls the core of yourself out into the light with those pretty fingers and big brown eyes. What a shame, that you’re such an awful mess inside.
Chapter Titles are all lyrics pulled from songs on this playlist on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2gWXFRZPR2t8RMr7r91LAF?si=Q82uZSeNTkC4DXCvT1uz5g
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- Part 1 of I Always Want You When I'm Finally Fine
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When Jack was 16, he taped a picture he stole from his cousin’s magazine to the inside of his closet door. A man, tall, broad, covered in body hair, motor oil on his face, glistening with sweat in the afternoon sun, shirtless on top of a motorcycle. Jack spent many nights thinking about a man like that. 30-going-on-40 years later, and a lot has happened. Is happening. Jack is lonely. Robby is lonely. But using sex to push past a broken heart isn’t terribly healthy; it’s not responsible, at least, and Jack is supposed to be the responsible one now. And then Robby comes in from an afternoon of working on his godforsaken motorcycle, sweat slick and beautiful. And, well. Jack is only a man. And responsibilities are hard to hold on to.
Title from Fever by Peggy Lee.
This is set within the universe of my Jack/Robby/Reader fic, “I Always Want You When I’m Finally Fine” as an alternative for chapter 27. It can be read as a standalone, though! There are a few passing references to the reader-insert character from that fic, but they are very easily ignored.
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- Part 2 of I Always Want You When I'm Finally Fine