Angstober (2026)
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What did really happen to Sirius? Is he dead? Did he really kill himself? And what role did Walburga play in all of this?
THIS IS A PREQUEL to A Flawed System. It can be read before, during, or after reading A Flawed System, or just on its own.
Happy Angstober!
Series
- Part 1 of Angstober (2026)
- Part 2 of A Flawed System
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Summary
Fleamont wondered if he should open the front door. He didn't know who it was and it was far past one in the morning. He opened it anyway.
Sirius was leaning on the stair railing, just barely illuminated by the streetlights, looking like he was about to faint. “Sirius?"
“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
Series
- Part 2 of Angstober (2026)
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“Reg-” Something in the way Sirius's voice cracked when he said his name just broke him.
“I'm lonely. I'm by myself and I know you say you love me and I know Effie and James say I'm always welcome but- but it doesn't really feel like it.”
Series
- Part 3 of Angstober (2026)
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“Regulus?”
“Mm?”
“Why do you want to talk to me? Are you okay?”
He sighed, very clearly exhausted. “You weren't wrong.”
“I wasn't wrong about what?” It was silent for a long moment. “Reg?”
“It got worse.”
Series
- Part 4 of Angstober (2026)
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Remus was thirteen, and thirteen was too young to know that his friend hurt like that. And then he was fourteen, and fourteen was too young to hold someone back from taking a knife to themself. And then after that he was fifteen and fifteen was still too young to find his friend with blood coming from his wrists.
Sixteen would still be too young, and so would seventeen, and eighteen. And he would still be too young even if he were thirty because he could never be old enough to handle that kind of awful.
Series
- Part 5 of Angstober (2026)
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Regulus put his head in his hands for a long moment. “Just drop it. It's not important." Sirius was horrified.
“Not imp- Regulus. You could have died. Do you know that? If you overdose on the wrong thing you can pass out and never wake up.”
Series
- Part 6 of Angstober (2026)
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Sirius didn't even mean to set a date It had just stopped being a vague idea and started being “in two weeks.” Then it turned into “three days.” And then it was the night before and he just sat in his bed and stared at nothing
He had meant to write notes. That's what you were supposed to do, right? Write notes for people you love. But would anyone want to read them? Was it worth it?
Series
- Part 7 of Angstober (2026)
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Effie pulled Sirius aside to a relatively quiet spot on the train platform. “See you at Christmas?”
“Think so, unless Moony's staying at school.”
“He's welcome to come too if you two would like.”
“Thanks. I think he's going to his ma's but I'll tell him.”
“And Regulus.” She added quietly. “I know he said he didn't want to but if you end up talking to him and he changes his mind he's welcome too.”
Series
- Part 8 of Angstober (2026)
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Sirius whispered “I don't know if I'm going to make it Prongs.”
“Don't say that, you'll be alright.”
“I just- I'm tired and I'm miserable and-”
“I know, I know. But you've done so well for so long, it's just a little bit longer. If you make it through school you can go anywhere after. Far away where no one can get you.” Sirius didn't respond, just hid his face in James's shoulder.
Series
- Part 9 of Angstober (2026)
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“If you're so busy then right now the maybe it isn't the best time for us to be together.”
“What?” Regulus’s voice cracked.
“Listen, if you don't want to make me any kind of priority, that's okay. It's your life and I'm not going to force you to do anything. But you also can't ignore me and expect me to just accept it.”
Series
- Part 10 of Angstober (2026)
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“Don't do anything stupid.”
“I've never done anything of the sort.” Sirius yelped as Remus poked him in the side. “Okay, okay. I won't.”
“If you get back on the bike drunk I'm going to have your ass.”
“Promise?”
Series
- Part 11 of Angstober (2026)
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“He has to come back to the dorm at some point, right?" Remus asked a little desperately. "We just stop him when he does.” Peter nodded but James still felt vaguely nauseous at the idea.
“I guess but… what if he's decided he's just not going coming back at all?”
“Where would he go?”
James just looked at Peter. Realization dawned on his face and he looked sick. “He wouldn't.”
“I don't know what he would or wouldn't do.”
Series
- Part 12 of Angstober (2026)
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Remus didn't know what was wrong with him. He'd been gone for two hours and somewhere in that time something had happened. Something that destroyed the man Remus loved.
He tried talking to Sirius but he'd just looked up at him. He'd gone entirely silent. In and of itself that was concerning but he'd also completely shut down in other ways. He wouldn't eat no matter what Remus did.
He was vanishing before Remus’s eyes and he didn't know how to stop it.
Series
- Part 13 of Angstober (2026)
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“Hello?”
“Happy birthday.”
“Who is this?”
It got quiet on the other end of the phone before whoever it was let out a sigh. “I made the wrong choice leaving on my own. I missed you, Jamie.”
“Pads?” His voice was so soft he barely even heard himself.
"Hi."
Series
- Part 14 of Angstober (2026)
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“What do you mean my fare is paid?” Regulus focused on the captain to avoid looking out the windows of the Knight Bus.
“Your older brother. He pays extra whenever he rides for us to pick you up if you ever need it." Regulus stared.
“He what?”
“Aye. Been doing it as long as I've worked here."
Series
- Part 15 of Angstober (2026)
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“I can stop if I need to, it just makes it easier. But I'm okay. I can stop. I'm fine.”
“Sirius.”
“I'm okay. It's just-”
“Sirius.” He said again, louder. He stopped talking and looked up at Remus. “You're not okay. We both know that.”
“No, I promise I'm fine, I'm not crazy.”
Series
- Part 16 of Angstober (2026)
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Harry Potter and the Generational Lock In by Lextrow
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Oct 2026
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“You okay?”
Draco glared. “If asking over my health is your new plan to annoy me it's working.”
“No," Harry shook his head. "Me asking about your health is my new thing because you're acting weird.” Malfoy hesitated for a moment.
“Of course you'd notice.”
“What's that mean?”
Series
- Part 17 of Angstober (2026)
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Suddenly the world was grey and he didn't remember when it had started fading.
Survival no longer felt like the default, it started feeling like a challenge. Like something he was rapidly beginning to fail at.
By the time Sirius hit rock bottom it was like all the times he should have spoken up were stuck in his throat. He couldn't say anything. It had gotten too big, too painful. Words just simply did not come out.
Series
- Part 18 of Angstober (2026)
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Summary
Pads 1:30am
Did all of you really go to bedRemus hesitated for a moment.
I'm awake
Oh thank god I'm literally so bored
I was about to shoot myself in the head nglI really fucking hate when you joke like that
Sirius's typing bubbles appeared. Then disappeared. Then appeared and disappeared again.
What if I said I wasn't joking
Series
- Part 19 of Angstober (2026)
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Summary
A hand rested Regulus's his lower back and started guiding him towards the door. He resisted despite the fact that he was already halfway to being unconscious.
“Le’ go of me.” His voice came out slurred and whoever it was just chuckled.
“You don't look like you're in the best shape there mate. Come on, I can help you get back to your dorms.”
Series
- Part 20 of Angstober (2026)