Holy Mess AU
Series Metadata
Listing Series
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The Dark Things That Wait - 1. Religion by Flowers_n_Dragons
Fandoms: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
01 Oct 2026
Tags
Summary
Geralt meets and immediately sets his eye on the young priest of the local church. The feeling (of horny) is mutual, still, such a blasphemous affair needs proper plans and preparations. Much like certain body parts...
Or,
the Father!Jaskier-seducer!Geralt modern au no one has asked for.
Excerpt:
He has been delighting in conquests with a touch of the taboo; twinks barely out of the closet, self-proclaimed heteroflexible men; the allegedly unattainable. He used to believe his kink was just about the challenge, about being the first to take them apart and put them back together, to ruin them for other partners with his prowess - or the very least to have mind-blowing orgasms. Turns out, his desire to corrupt has been an undercurrent all along. The purer the prospective partner the better. His insides screamed, smear them with sin, anoint them with spit. Peel off that paint of innocence, of civility, to the last chip. See into their raw, throbbing-red core that’s nothing but a once-unwanted animal…. Geralt set his mind on doing all that with Father Jaskier.
Series
- Part 1 of Hot Mess Kinktober
- Part 1 of Holy Mess AU
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7. Forced Orgasm (in a confessional booth) by Flowers_n_Dragons
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
07 Oct 2026
Tags
Summary
Geralt and Father Jaskier have been having sex for a while now. Time for some risqué playtime!
A continuation of the au started in the first fic of the series.Series
- Part 7 of Hot Mess Kinktober
- Part 2 of Holy Mess AU
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8. Makeup by Flowers_n_Dragons
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
09 Oct 2026
Tags
Summary
Cool dad Geralt wears makeup because of a silly wager. Father Jaskier has... opinions about it.
Series
- Part 8 of Hot Mess Kinktober
- Part 3 of Holy Mess AU
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We Don't Have Forever - 9. Lap Dance by Flowers_n_Dragons
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
10 Oct 2026
Tags
Summary
Father Jaskier has a past. This past includes makeup, lapdance, and short leather skirts. Geralt is very open to nostalgia.
Or, the fourth fic from the Priest!Jaskier - seducer Geralt au. The feels be a-multiplying. Angst and sex and Britney Spears.
Series
- Part 9 of Hot Mess Kinktober
- Part 4 of Holy Mess AU
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We Climbed So High - 10. Biting/Scratches by Flowers_n_Dragons
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
11 Oct 2026
Tags
Summary
Priest! Jaskier and seducer Geralt have the afternoon and Geralt's bedroom all to themselves. They have feels about it and end up... Not fucking, but almost. A bit of kinky play that cuts deeper than nails. They are climbing oh so high...
Or, the fifth fic of the Holy Mess AU!
Series
- Part 10 of Hot Mess Kinktober
- Part 5 of Holy Mess AU
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11. Bladder Control (since you can't control your feelings) by Flowers_n_Dragons
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
11 Oct 2026
Tags
Summary
Priest Jaskier pays a visit to his lover, ready for fantastic sex without any pesky emotions. Just fucking. Unlike last time. Too bad he went too long without relieving himself. Geralt of course takes advantage.
Holy Mass au número 6!
Series
- Part 11 of Hot Mess Kinktober
- Part 6 of Holy Mess AU
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I Wish That I'd Been Brave - 12. Aftercare by Flowers_n_Dragons
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
12 Oct 2026
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Summary
Intense sex requires intense aftercare. It goes astray, so obviously, Father Jaskier goes spiraling. Geralt reacts as Geralt does when it comes to feelings.
This is angsty and full of awkwardness and I hurt myself a little while writing, in a good way.
The 7th installment of the Holy Mess AU. It probably won't make sense without the prequels or at least the previous fic (in the Hot Mess Kinktober series, too, no.11)
Series
- Part 12 of Hot Mess Kinktober
- Part 7 of Holy Mess AU
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Don't You Know That I'll Be with You - 13. Anonymous Sex by Flowers_n_Dragons
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
13 Oct 2026
Tags
Summary
With Ciri gone, Geralt uses the night to blow off some steam. He needs it, what with his relationship with Father Jaskier imploding. Not to mention the tiny little fact that he is in love with him.
So he goes to a club to find a pretty lady to spend time with.
He finds her.Holy Mass au, number 8!
Series
- Part 13 of Hot Mess Kinktober
- Part 8 of Holy Mess AU