AprilJane



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya tries to get Shane to be friends with Troy. It goes horribly.

    AKA Shane crashes out at Troy

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    01 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: You know, believe it or not, eating women out actually wasn't my favorite pastime
    Ilya: Sure.
    Shane: Ilya. I’m GAY
    Ilya: Not too gay to eat lots of pussy

    In which the women Shane has slept with share their experiences on social media, Shane and Ilya both react totally normally, and Hayden would like some clarity on his best friend's sex life

    A sequel to "ten out of ten"

    Series
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    29 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Emmy: When did you first hook up with him?
    Jane: 2010
    Caro: WHAT
    Megan: GIRL
    Tia: SEVEN YEARS??
    Megan: My jaw is borderline unhinged rn

    Or: In 2017, Shane finds a place where he can talk about his sex life...a group chat for girls who have slept with Ilya Rozanov

    Language:
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    28 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya: He should buy lottery tickets because he is the luckiest man on earth 
    Ilya: He should get on his knees and thank god everyday that he got to fuck you
    Shane: Oh my God stop
    Ilya: What? I do that

    Or: The man who topped Shane in Mexico posts about his experience, Ilya contemplates murder, and the other queer NHL players get caught in the crossfire.

    Series
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    28 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: So, what is this we’re doing again? 

    Harris: It’s called 36 Questions That Lead to Love. They’re questions that a psychologist developed back in the nineties that are supposed to help couples move past the awkward stage and get more personal. It’ll be fun!

    Shane: You always say that it’ll be fun, and I don’t think it ever ends up being much fun. 

    Ilya: I always have fun. I do not know what your problem is. 

    [Harris lets out his signature booming laugh, and Ilya grins widely.]

    Harris: You maybe have a little too much fun. 

    Ilya: There is no such thing. 

    Shane: But what’s the point of the questions if we’re already in love? Like, we’re married. You were there when it happened.

    Harris: Yes, but they can help you deepen your connection, and it makes for good content. People love your love. 

    Ilya: I think we had a pretty deep connection last night, am I right?

    [Ilya holds his hand up for a high-five from Shane, but Shane only glares, and Harris looks slightly horrified. Ilya looks back expectantly, but when Shane doesn’t move, Ilya high-fives himself. With the sound of the clap, the screen goes black.]

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    28 Apr 2026