AsphyxiKate
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Recent works
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Summary
Severus Snape has some ground rules.
Don’t look him in the eye. Clothes stay on. Only do the bare minimum required to fulfil this stupid fucking vow.
Oh, and…
“Do not put bread anywhere near my cock. That’s ground rule number four.”
“You’re no fun,” Rodolphus huffed.
…
When Rodolphus Lestrange wakes up, after another night of just enough (read: ‘far too much’) wine, it turns out that he’s made a pretty big commitment in the midst of his drunken chaos.
But what exactly has he agreed to do? And to who?
And why does Severus Snape keep looking at him like that…?
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Sunlight Poison, Golden Rays by AsphyxiKate
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
19 Jan 2026
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“Oh, fuck off, Rozanov,” Shane seethed. “What do you want?”
Retracting his arms to his sides, Rozanov sniffed once and peered around the bathroom. “Just came to say hi.”
“Well, you didn’t,” Shane pointed out.
With a jerk of the head, Rozanov once again trapped Shane in his heavy gaze. There was an inexplicable fire in those ice blue eyes; a heat that shouldn’t have been possible given the frost of Rozanov’s overall expression. His features—pinched and still—were the perfect facade of calm… unless you knew where to look.
The eyes. Shane always saw the blaze behind those glacial pools.
“Nyet,” Rozanov agreed, lips barely parting around the nod to his mother tongue. “I didn’t.”
He took one large step towards Shane, and Shane reflexively retreated, staggering backwards until he made contact with the wall. Cold tiles stuck to his T-shirt at the shoulder blades, and he gasped as he arched his back.
“Then wha—?” he began.
…
When Shane Hollander excuses himself to the men’s room at Ciel nightclub in Montreal, Ilya Rozanov follows him. And, this time, the Russian is determined not to go home alone…
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“Such a needy boy,” Charlie goaded, his free palm caressing Draco’s cheek. He ran a rough thumb around Draco’s mouth. “Look at you, you’re practically dribbling.”
Obediently parting his lips, Draco sucked in his husband’s thumb down to the second knuckle. He held Charlie’s gaze with wide eyes, molten silver shimmering as he wordlessly pleaded for more. His grip tightened on Charlie’s hips, fingernails digging into the tough fabric until his husband grunted.
“This is a punishment, Draco,” he chided. “You’re not supposed to enjoy it.”
As Charlie delicately withdrew his thumb, Draco trailed his tongue along it. “There’s nothing you can do to me that I won’t enjoy,” he explained.
...When Draco Malfoy arrives home late from work, his husband—Charlie Weasley—sees fit to reprimand him for missing their date night...
Not that Draco minds that in the slightest.
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“This is… real? I’m really in a musical?” Draco gulped. “I’m a ghoul in a musical?”
“You’re a ghoul in a musical,” Potter agreed, bringing a hand round as if to clap Draco on the back. The proximity of his ghostly palm sent a shiver through Draco despite the lack of physical contact. “Welcome to the club.”
Draco would have collapsed to the floor but, since he was already floating around an inch or so above the wood, he merely crumpled into a gaseous heap.
“Kill me now,” he appealed to the ceiling.
“You’re already dead, Malfoy. Get over it,” Granger tutted. “And come help. You can be in the chorus.”
“The chorus?”
“Can you sing?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest and arching a brow.
“S-sing?” Draco spluttered. “Can I s—” When neither of the golden duo showed any sign of humour, he—in a mortifying display of hopelessness—disrupted his own question with a squeak. “Okay, that’s it. Somebody avada me again.”
...
Poor Draco. Nobody told him that the afterlife was a musical. Nobody told him about the muggle book, 'A Christmas Carol'. Nobody told him that, in death, he'd be trapped at Hogwarts with Saint fucking Potter. -
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Malfoy's eyelids drifted open, and he trained a dark glare on Hermione. The forceful exhale through his flared nostrils was more snarl than breath, and he bared his teeth. “So just go through and shut that door behind you, quick wave of your wand from the other side to set me free, and everyone wins. I can make friends with a makeshift toilet that even that fucking oaf Hagrid would turn his nose up at, and you don’t have to watch me piss myself.”
Swivelling her head, Hermione regarded the bucket in question, tucked away in a far corner of the cellar. It was true; the facilities it presented left a lot to be desired. That was, however, somewhat the point.
She scrunched her nose affectedly against a mercifully imaginary smell—thank Godric for evanesco and scourgify—and peeked over at Malfoy from the sides of her eyes. “I think I’d like to see that, actually.”
“See what?” he demanded with a sniff.
“You pissing yourself.”
Malfoy blanched. “I… I’m sorry?”
“Don’t be sorry, Malfoy,” Hermione soothed. “Just go right ahead and piss yourself. I’ll wait.”
Recent series
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Summary
Welcome to the DMFFA!
Strange things are happening here... There are curses to be broken, there is research to be done, and a mysterious door has materialised at the Ministry of Magic. Hermione Granger is the only one who can see it, but should she go inside? Especially when everything it contains relates to her childhood bully, and reformed Death Eater, Draco Malfoy...
Hermione is playing a dangerous game with the DMFFA, but what does it all mean? And what does D-M-F-F-A even stand for??
Well, you tell me. First correct guess wins a prize. As does the funniest incorrect guess... (no, seriously, come and guess over on my IG AsphyxiKate).
- Words:
- 54,476
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 52
Recent bookmarks
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Paracelsus’ Theorem of Unknowing by CopperCatbird for Strangemagpie
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Feb 2026
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“Who let this sociopath play darts!” roared Harry, holding his arm.
“Oh, relax, it’s only a flesh wound,” Draco tutted, taking aim (at the dart board) with his final dart.The Slytherins and Gryffindors have been brought together by romance (Pansy and Ginny), friendship (Hermione and Blaise), and a shared interest in quidditch (Ron and Millicent). Four years in, there are only two holdouts.
Everybody agrees that whatever their problem is, Draco and Harry just need to shag it out.
All that’s left? Convincing them. Luckily, Luna has a solstice ritual to perform, and she needs help.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,139
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 86
- Kudos:
- 265
- Bookmarks:
- 87
- Hits:
- 4,627
Bookmarked by AsphyxiKate
19 Apr 2026
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You've got mail by Anonymous
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
16 Apr 2026
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While trying to write to his friend studying abroad in Moscow, Shane Hollander accidentally reaches Ilya Rozanov.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,315
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 7,493
- Kudos:
- 35,490
- Bookmarks:
- 9,960
- Hits:
- 473,121
Bookmarked by AsphyxiKate
17 Apr 2026
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‘til my lungs give out by perfect-porcelain (tedddylupin)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
26 Jan 2026
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Summary
“Rozanov score…82,” the judge reads.
The man, Rozanov, sneers, clearly unhappy with the number. He waves off the judges with his hat before stalking out of the rodeo arena. It’s a damn good score for a bareback bronco. Since coming to watch the event, the highest of the night that Shane’s seen so far.
He knows a killer, hell bent on victory when he sees one and the man with the black shirt, black and turquoise chaps, and the black cowboy hat is the definition of it.
And Shane wants to meet him.
Or: when Shane Hollander, rodeo prince, is infatuated with the Russian newcomer who is dead set on snatching his crown
Series
- Part 1 of we beat the odds together
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 124,499
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Comments:
- 1,044
- Kudos:
- 1,221
- Bookmarks:
- 570
- Hits:
- 43,264
Bookmarked by AsphyxiKate
12 Mar 2026
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don't make my brown eyes blue. by Jamjamfae
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
28 Feb 2026
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A reimagined alternative reality where Yuna and Irina were best friends from international school and after her death, Yuna forcefully advocates for young Ilya to be part of her family and while she figures that out, he becomes penpals with her son Shane.
What if Ilya was given comfort as a child?
Bookmarked by AsphyxiKate
20 Feb 2026
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Shane, As Defined by Ilya. by Jamjamfae
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
10 Feb 2026
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Summary
Finally have time and inspiration to write a AU where Irina escapes her husband, and is able to take Ilya with her and raise him on her own with the support of the women of the neighbourhood like Yuna Hollander.
'There has never been a version of Shane that never loved Ilya.'
Series
- Part 1 of There is no Shane without Ilya.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,215
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 186
- Kudos:
- 2,013
- Bookmarks:
- 453
- Hits:
- 24,959
Bookmarked by AsphyxiKate
20 Feb 2026