DojoLoach
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Stolas gazed out into the endless expanse of space before him. He’d been away longer than intended–it was time to turn back. Yet, as he stared into the silent void, a strange feeling crept in. The thought of returning home–to his planet, to his wife–didn’t bring him comfort. Instead, it stirred a deep, aching loneliness he didn’t know how to address.
Then, out of nowhere, there was a deafening crash. And then he was plummeting, plummeting, plummeting down…
• • •
The little creature he had met after his crash landing was quite cute, and how fortuitous that Stolas could communicate with him!
“Y’know, I could help you if you wanted me to,” Blitzø said with a grin, tail swaying slowly behind him. “But you have to give me something in return!”
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Or; A Pikmin inspired AU where a recently married Stolas crash lands on an alien planet where he meets Blitz, an alien creature who agrees to help him as long as he agrees to return the favor, one day. (No Pikmin knowledge required to read!) -
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3...2...
“Hey, can I borrow that?”
Stolas’ eyes flew open and he stared down at the ground to find an imp staring up at him.
"Your stool." The imp sighed and held up his own noose. "Just like, when you’re done.”
“Oh!” Stolas felt quite foolish. “My apologies, um… yes, of course you can borrow it when I’m done. I won’t be needing it anymore, after all.” He smiled, then tried to bring himself back to the task at hand. He inhaled and exhaled slowly and closed his eyes again.
3…2…
“So is this your first time doing something like this?”
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Or; Stolas and Blitzø meet when they both show up at the same forest to kill themselves.
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“Moxxie, who the fuck is that?”
Blitzø had told Moxxie he didn’t want another court jester. They had been through a shit ton of them and the last one, Dennis, had been so fucking terrible he’d decided it was a position his castle didn’t fucking need.
“He’s a jester, Your Majesty.” Moxxie provided unhelpfully. “Or maybe he’s a clown.”
The guy was dressed in a goofy ass costume made up of reds, yellows, and blues, with a pointy hat on top of his head and the stupid markings painted on his face. Obviously he was a jester. But he was also freakishly tall and covered in feathers, and Blitzø had never seen him before.
“His name, Moxx. And what the fuck is he doing here?” Blitzø snapped, lower eyelid twitching.
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Or; A mysterious clown owl shows up at Blitzø's castle. He doesn't speak, he's not very funny, and Blitzø is unreasonably horny about it.
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“What do you mean you’re going out? Out where? And why can’t I come?”
“It’s nothing exciting, Blitzø. I’ll be back in a few hours,” Stolas said, waving a hand dismissively as he hoisted his tote bag over his shoulder.
“You didn’t answer like, any of my questions.”
...So, yeah. Blitzø followed Stolas to the mall and was spying on him, big fucking whoop. It wasn’t his fault, Stolas had been acting really fucking weird and had basically forced him to do this!
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Or; Stolas experiences a Sinsmas Stallion Stampede and Blitzø freaks out because he had no idea that Saltine was going to die at the end of that stupid French movie.
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Blitzø couldn't be the last unicorn there was. After learning that the wicked Prince Stolas was the one responsible for their disappearance, he sets out on a quest to find the Prince and his people.
Though he is determined to get answers, he struggles to remember what he was searching for when he finds himself transformed into the body of an imp. He is haunted by strange memories and things are not making any sense, and the Prince is not exactly as everyone had described him.
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Or; The Last Unicorn inspired AU. Starts off similar to the plot of TLU then diverges completely. You do not need to have seen the movie or read the book to understand this fic!
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Quietly, he goes to work. From experience he knows that he can do this for hours while Blitzø remains asleep. So he soundlessly opens the cabinet, looking through the files. He knows he needs the ones from last year, which is why he seeks lower, bends lower, to get to the bottom.
"C'mon. Just a bit more. Show me that ass."
Stolas chokes on his spit.
He shoots up straight like a pillar and turns around, wide-eyed.
Months into living with Blitzø, Stolas still learns new things every day. Like how communication is key and if it isn't done verbally, he'll take Blitzø's horny thoughts- wait.
Since when can he hear Blitzø's horny thoughts?
Does that mean they can finally fuck again? He's been starving.Nevermind, he's just going crazy. Haha.
Anyway, does anyone want some tea?
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" Even before starting I.M.P, Blitzø got to be the (literal) top dog in his relationships. Whether it was a succubitch or a baphomet, Blitzø called the shots in the bedroom. And he was never much good at relationships in any other room, so that was all that mattered. Even on the rare occasions he had a dick plowing his tight, red hole, Blitzø was still the one barking orders. It's what he likes.
So obviously, Stolas is fucking perfect. The biggest bottom in the seven rings - more than even that spider freak - and totally obsessed with Blitzø from day one. Not that Blitzø had realised back then, but no time like the present. Stolas loves giving up control and taking orders, and Blitzø could always offer that.
And now…
Well, he's been feeling like a bit of a perverted asshole, because Stolas is living on his ratty sofa and slumming it as his secretary when his previous career had literally been blue-blooded bastard. And that would all be terrible on its own, but Blitzø is kind of, sort of, maybe, getting off on it. "
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sinsmas lights and sleepless nights by fullmoon_mazza for DojoLoach
Fandoms: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
26 Dec 2025
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Blitzø's heart is pounding. They're toeing a line here, one they've been dancing around for a year, and he's so tired of pretending.
And then Stolas swipes his thumb across Blitzø’s knee where his hand is resting, casual. Possessive. Sweet with an ache that twists the very breath in his lungs.
"Tell me to stop," Blitzø says, and his voice comes out rougher than he intended. "If you want me to stop."
Stolas tilts his head up, and his eyes are molten red in the Sinsmas lights, and he's so close Blitzø can feel his breath. Smell the ginger and alcohol, and the sweetness that he remembers the flavor of even after all this time.
"I don't," Stolas breathes, somehow already sounding a little wrecked. "I really, really don't."
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A year of pining. A game of truth or dare. And a usage of Sinsmas lights that is NOT the intended purpose.
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“Fuck, you took that like a champ,” a voice crowed from the open window. “Hurry up, get your ass in the van.”
Stolas looked up to see an imp sitting in the driver's seat. The first thing Stolas noticed about him was that he was devastatingly hot. His tight black t-shirt showed off his broad chest, and Stolas found his brain taking too long to understand the words the imp had said.
“Hello? Did you get water in your fucking ears?” the imp asked. “Get in the van. You are a hitchhiker, aren't you?”
Hitchhiker. Yes. He supposed he was.