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Harry Potter and the fact his life can't get more fucked up by Awkwardaxalotl
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 May 2026
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Summary
Harry sees that playing the hero in his first year gets him dumped back at the dursleys with a pat on the back for literally murdering a man and decides fuck it I live like I want now. He goes to gringotts gets an inheritance test finds out he has a reluctant soulmate and that dumbledore is a prick. Shenanigans ensue. This is purely self indulgent and my first attempt at fanfic .
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Summary
Griphook sighed, pulling a book from his desk.
“After learning of your entry into the tournament, I requested the bank’s records on the rules,” he explained, flipping through the pages. “Other than death, that is.” The Goblin smirked slightly as he turned the book toward Harry.
‘In the event that the entered Witch/Wizard is pregnant or under a surrogacy contract said Witch/Wizard will be disqualified without risk to her/his magic or life. This clause takes place after the first insemination attempt for surrogacy-’’
“...Are you telling me I can get pregnant?” Harry blinked in disbelief.
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After his unwanted entrance into the Triwizard Tournament Harry will do anything to get out of it. Anything.
This is a story of how one desperate attempt to get out of a contest changes the course of many peoples lives.
Please Read the tags. Don't like, don't read.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 87,366
- Chapters:
- 25/?
- Comments:
- 1,593
- Kudos:
- 8,154
- Bookmarks:
- 2,975
- Hits:
- 263,111
Bookmarked by Eolyon
06 May 2026
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Harry Potter - The boy who travelled through time. *Hiatus, working on Year 2.* by Fandom_Beanie
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Aug 2025
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Summary
The war had long since passed, Harry was now in his early twenties and working as an Auror, Harry looked back on his time at Hogwarts with a mixture of sadness, wishes of change and the slightest hints of disdain. His engagement to Ginny had been one of the few good outcomes from his time there.
He’d been distracted by his thoughts of Hogwarts whilst sorting through the evidence of a current case he’d been investigating, something to do with a young wizard messing with things he shouldn’t have just yet. It would most likely land the child with a slap on the wrist but Harry still needed to sort through the mess that had been made.
He’d been moving an oddly coloured potion from the evidence box when it slipped from his hands, the potion tumbling rather quickly to the floor in a way that was almost comical with the way it tumbled before splashing onto the floor. Harry closed his eyes to avoid any of this unknown potion from getting into them, but if he had opened his eyes…he would have seen the world shift around him and he would have seen his own body shift and change in ways it shouldn’t have been able to.
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Year 1 - chap 1-39
On hiatus, working on Year 2.Series
- Part 1 of Harry Potter and his main character bullshit.
- Part 1 of The boy who travelled through time
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 169,431
- Chapters:
- 41/?
- Comments:
- 776
- Kudos:
- 2,021
- Bookmarks:
- 760
- Hits:
- 87,947
Bookmarked by Eolyon
06 May 2026
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Harry Potter and his main character bullshit. by Fandom_Beanie
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 May 2026
- Words:
- 256,797
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 126
Bookmarked by Eolyon
06 May 2026
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The Best of Blessings at the Worst of Times by Bibarian
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
01 May 2026
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Summary
After the destruction of Vulcan, a crisis occurs involving some of the Enterprise's Vulcan passengers! The crisis is resolved, but Jim comes out of it with more than he bargained for.
Updates occur as they will.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 136,573
- Chapters:
- 33/?
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 1,710
- Kudos:
- 1,721
- Bookmarks:
- 631
- Hits:
- 49,755
Bookmarked by Eolyon
06 May 2026
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Summary
When Harry got hit by the killing curse, he thought that would be the end of his life. He was happy that he could reunite with his loved ones in the afterlife and be happy.
What he got was waking up in a very dark place with a strange man sitting in front of him and staring at him.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,858
- Chapters:
- 86/86
- Comments:
- 97
- Kudos:
- 1,027
- Bookmarks:
- 283
- Hits:
- 39,650
Bookmarked by Eolyon
04 May 2026
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Summary
It was a secret every Slytherin knew: Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphus Lestrange were a duo that functioned like a single, lethal blade, but they were a blade looking for a hilt.
They found it in the sky, watching a Gryffindor Seeker fly like he was born of the wind.
In a world where modern wizards call the old rituals "dark," and Lily Evans enforces the "Light" with an iron grip, James Potter is fading. But a single prayer to Mother Magic changes everything. Betrayed by his girlfriend and left for dead, James wakes up in the heart of the snake's den.
Disclaimer:
Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. All rights to Harry Potter belong to J. K. Rowling. But the story is mine.Bookmarked by Eolyon
04 May 2026
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Summary
After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry, Neville, Luna, Fred, and George find themselves hurled back in time by five ancient gods. Tasked with a mission to reshape history, they must alter the course of events to create a future free of war and darkness.
Trapped in a past that isn't their own, they seize the chance not just to complete their divine assignment but to reunite with their lost loves and carve out the lives they were meant to live.
Join them as they navigate a world both familiar and foreign, battling fate itself for the promise of peace and a second chance at happiness.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It belongs to J.K.Rowling. I have borrowed the characters. The story is mine.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,646
- Chapters:
- 19/?
- Comments:
- 178
- Kudos:
- 1,061
- Bookmarks:
- 343
- Hits:
- 30,709
Bookmarked by Eolyon
04 May 2026
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When the Hunter turns Prey by Teja_Shree_Pinjala_Ravi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 May 2026
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Summary
Harry, after getting hit with the killing curse during the Battle of Hogwarts, keeps getting visions of a man who looked like his godfather, Sirius Black.
Not knowing what was happening to him and feeling guilty of damaging the bank, Harry goes to the bank to pay for the reparations from his own accounts. Harry then had to explain why he had to break the bank security measures. The reasons had the goblins stunned, and Harry got himself another title, 'The Goblin Friend'.
When Harry got a patronus from Fred and George Weasleys, they went to the bank after realising what Harry's friends and the youngest Weasley had in store for Harry. A full blood inhertance test later, Harry and the twins were completely seething.
He had previously asked Lord Death to continue with the life he was living, but now, he wanted to be sent back so that he could fix things and get the life he missed.
Read as Harry goes back in time and fixes the mistakes of one Tom Marvolo Riddle-Gaunt and lets Tom continue with his goals, with him being Tom's strongest support base.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The books belong to J.K.Rowling. I have just borrowed the characters. The story is mine.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,173
- Chapters:
- 32/?
- Comments:
- 202
- Kudos:
- 1,331
- Bookmarks:
- 456
- Hits:
- 46,011
Bookmarked by Eolyon
04 May 2026
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When The Abandoned, Abandons by Teja_Shree_Pinjala_Ravi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 May 2026
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Summary
The ministry has declared that Harry Potter has killed Cedric Diggory, for which he was thrown into Azkaban for life. Days went by, but nobody tried to talk to Harry.
Not even Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, who was declared innocent because Harry went to Amelia Bones with a stunned Peter Pettigrew in his hands.
The Harry Potter Series belongs to J.K.Rowling. I have just copied the characters. The story is mine.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 90,772
- Chapters:
- 46/?
- Comments:
- 328
- Kudos:
- 1,490
- Bookmarks:
- 518
- Hits:
- 77,785
Bookmarked by Eolyon
04 May 2026
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Master of the Hollowed Bond by Teja_Shree_Pinjala_Ravi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
24 Feb 2026
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Summary
Lord Voldemort is dead, Sirius Black is a free man, and Harry is the most powerful wizard in Britain. But as the dust settles, a soul-deep ache manifests, a mate bond tethering Harry to the last person the world would expect.
Lucius Malfoy is a man undone. With his Dark Master gone, Narcissa has taken her freedom and her divorce, leaving Lucius to face the Ministry's judgment alone. He is a pariah, a man whose pride has been stripped away, and he has no idea that his life now depends on the boy who brought his world crashing down.
Disclaimer:
Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. It belongs to J.K.Rowling. I am only borrowing the characters. The story is mine.Bookmarked by Eolyon
04 May 2026
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Summary
After the war, all the people slowly started settling back to normal life again. Only Harry felt that he had been missing a part of him ever since he saw Severus Snape die.
When he goes to the bank to ask about his accounts and to make some investments, he discovers something his dear friends and mentor were hiding from him.
He decides to take the help from a certain god, namely Death, whom he is the master of, and goes back to the Marauders Era and goes to Hogwarts as Harrison Ingotus Peverell, the DADA professor.Read to know how he makes sure his mate is safe and Voldemort doesn't exist.
Harry Potter is not mine. It belongs to J.K.Rowling. I have just borrowed the characters. The story is mine.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,836
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Comments:
- 219
- Kudos:
- 1,244
- Bookmarks:
- 327
- Hits:
- 42,162
Bookmarked by Eolyon
04 May 2026
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Summary
After the war, Harry finds out that Dumbledore had decided how his life would be until his death. He also found some heart shattering facts about his so-called best friends.
He decided to go back to the time when he had to stand and say that Voldemort was back. He wanted to fix everything and wanted to live the way he wanted.
Read to find out what happens.
Harry Potter does not belong to me, it belong to J.K.Rowling. I have just borrowed the characters. The story belongs to me.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 77,417
- Chapters:
- 64/64
- Comments:
- 247
- Kudos:
- 1,457
- Bookmarks:
- 396
- Hits:
- 66,322
Bookmarked by Eolyon
04 May 2026
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No One Messes with the Master of Death by Teja_Shree_Pinjala_Ravi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Apr 2025
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Summary
After the war was over, and Voldemort died, all death eaters were captured and killed except for a few who escaped the country before they were found.
Harry had married Ginevra Weasley. Ron and Hermoine had married each other.
Harry thought that his life would now be peaceful.
Harry had, for once, come home early to enjoy his time with Ginny but ended up eavesdropping on her and his friends.
What he found shattered his already wounded heart.Read more to find out what happens.
I do not own Harry Potter. It belongs to J. K. Rowling. I have just borrowed the characters. The story is mine.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,536
- Chapters:
- 69/69
- Comments:
- 42
- Kudos:
- 1,142
- Bookmarks:
- 340
- Hits:
- 44,419
Bookmarked by Eolyon
04 May 2026
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Summary
Lord Death, Mortem, knew that Harry James Sirius Potter-Black would one day become his master. He decided to keep an eye on the child in case his future turned dark.
That's when he discovered how Albus had meticulously planned his young master's life-right down to how he should behave and even who he should end up with.
The old fool had laid out everything, treating Harry like a pawn.
Mortem, unwilling to let this happen, chose to change his little master's fate. He established a mental connection with Harry and quietly guided him through his time with the Dursleys.
When Harry turns eleven, Mortem plans to appear before Hagrid could arrive and take Harry to Peverell Manor instead. But that doesn't go accordingly.
Read as Harry and Mortem unravel Albus's manipulative schemes and turn the tables on the so-called leader of the light.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. I have just borrowed the characters. The story is mine.
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Summary
It has been one year after the war. Harry hasn't felt whole from the moment Sirius died. He felt it would be poetic if he died in the same place as Sirius on his birthday.
But things never went the way Harry wanted them to. They never did. He received a letter from Gringotts on his 19th birthday. He discovered quite a lot that morning. He planned to quietly end his life, but this visit to Gringotts changed his mind. He was going to go back, take Death's offer that he was offered when he was hit with the killing curse, and wreck havoc on people who made his life a misery.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. It belongs to J.K.Rowling. I am only borrowing the characters. The story is mine.
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Summary
Harry Potter had never heard of the lost Malfoy child, even though his story is tied to his own. On the day that Harry lost his parents, the Malfoys lost Draco’s twin brother. He disappeared the very night, the Dark Lord attacked the Potters, never to be seen again – until an old magic failed and it turns out: Harry Potter was a mere façade hiding an eerily familiar face.
Series
- Part 1 of Malfoy in the Mirror
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 170,554
- Chapters:
- 64/?
- Comments:
- 1,508
- Kudos:
- 3,062
- Bookmarks:
- 975
- Hits:
- 153,638
Bookmarked by Eolyon
03 May 2026
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Summary
Suspended before his fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry instead goes to live with Sirius in Grimmauld Place. There he learns far more than school had to teach him, and soon he realises that magic is just the beginning.
- Words:
- 395,376
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 506
Bookmarked by Eolyon
03 May 2026
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Summary
A horcrux did not stop one from aging. Oh it slowed it down, that wasn’t indisputable but if Lord Voldemort wished to live forever, he would need something far more substantial.
Horcruxes alone, he had long since realised, were not perfect. The soul was tethered, yes, but the body still yielded in its slow decay. Rot had no master, only time.
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There was something wrong with Harry Potter.
At first, no one noticed. The boy grew as he ought to grow, small and underfed in Privet Drive. But there was something, deeply, off kilter about him. The Dursleys not only locked his cupboard door on a night, but also their bedroom doors as well. Not because of the magic, though they feared that too, but because sometimes the boy watched them at night, eyes glinting in the dark when they forgot about the cupboard....
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A teenage vampire seeking his Sire. His loyal dog. Dead rats. And a babysitting Barty Crouch Junior.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 149,724
- Chapters:
- 20/?
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,331
- Kudos:
- 1,835
- Bookmarks:
- 556
- Hits:
- 49,290
Bookmarked by Eolyon
03 May 2026
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Summary
At the ripe old age of 86, Harry James Potter, the master of death, dies in his home. At peace and surrounded by loved ones.
Death as it turns out can be rather complicated. Harry wakes up in a new body, surrounded by death and decay. Dreams of a scattered people and a tiny blonde boy in rags linger in his mind.
The elemental nations are not ready for this.
Series
- Part 1 of Harry potter adventures
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,938
- Chapters:
- 27/?
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,138
- Kudos:
- 3,339
- Bookmarks:
- 1,300
- Hits:
- 82,369
Bookmarked by Eolyon
03 May 2026