FoolishSwine
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Recent works
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The Queen, the Drummer, and the Scottish Play by FoolishSwine
Fandoms: Mean Girls (2004), Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid (Movies 2010-2017), High School Musical (Movies), Freaky Friday (2003)
19 Oct 2025
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Summary
East High Drama Department is putting on Macbeth: The Musical, a rock-infused, over-the-top take on Shakespeare’s classic. Regina George doesn’t do theatre. She does controlled chaos, and making sure everyone knows who’s queen. Enter Rodrick Heffley: annoying, persistent… and with ridiculously pretty eyes that make ignoring him impossible. Ambition, betrayal, jazz hands, and chaos await!
"If Regina George tried, really tried, she could almost block him out of her mind. If she tried so hard her nails dug into her palms, if she bit down on her tongue until it bled, she could pretend Rodrick Heffley didn’t exist. She could pretend that his stupid, infuriatingly charming face, that messy hair, those impossibly deep brown eyes, didn’t flicker across her thoughts like some relentless, irritating commercial she couldn’t turn off. Eyes that, if the light hit just right, almost looked vulnerable. Pathetic, even, like they’d be perfect, teary-eyed, begging for—
Ridiculous. Of course, she wasn’t thinking about him like that. Anything but."(alternative title: Regina George Must Die)
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Summary
"You wanted to grab Player 230, the one with the pretty eyes and the kind of arrogance only the truly naive possess. You wanted to grab him by the collar, drag him out by force if you had to. You wanted to press your face against the cold plastic of your mask and whisper: 'Run. Run now. Don’t wait for the music to start. Don’t wait for anyone. Just run like hell. Before you disappear forever. You’re going to die. All of you are.'"
You’re a Pink Guard at the 37th Squid Game. It's a job, like any other. But instead of folding clothes or asking customers if they needed anything, you stood motionless for twelve hours straight and watched people die. Then comes Thanos, and with him, Nam-gyu. Something about them makes your trigger finger hesitate. You were supposed to be the hunter, but suddenly you’re circling too close, watching too long, breaking rules you swore you never would.
...what if a Pink Guard joins Team Thanos?
(WIP Fix-it of sorts for season 2/3) -
No Pleasure is Guilty by FoolishSwine
Fandoms: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game)
24 Jul 2025
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Summary
"No, he'd rather play the fool. Rather, you laugh at his rhymes, snort at the toilet jokes, roll your eyes at the plunger stuck on his head. He'd rather be your punchline than your pity. Let you ridicule him for being a walking bathroom gag, a porcelain jester in gold chains. Anything but admit that he wants to be more. That he feels more. That behind the slang and swagger and piss-poetry, there's still a part of him wondering if he’s ever been seen at all."
A story about desire. About pleasure. About tenderness, love, and other disgusting filth.
And yes, you also fuck a toilet. But Jean Loo Pissoir is (kinda) charming.Series
- Part 2 of Date Everything: Compilation
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Wired for Worship by FoolishSwine
Fandoms: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game)
18 Jul 2025
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Summary
"You deserved worship. Not the hollow kind—no flowers or poems or flattery. No, you deserved devotion. Absolute. Unquestioning. You deserved someone who would kneel, if they had knees. Who would offer themselves entirely, every breath, every heartbeat—if they had lungs, if they had blood to give."
Yes, Hector liked to watch. And you were his favourite show.
(Did you know that AC machines can leak?)Series
- Part 1 of Date Everything: Compilation
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Summary
“The texts had started out small, innocent enough. Messages about family plans, invitations to family dinners, updates about Allison's divorce from Ray, Klaus' newfound sobriety. But gradually, the nature of the texts shifted. They started coming at night, when Diego was asleep.”
Before the subway, before the time jump—before they were Nancy and Jerome—Lila and Five found themselves in the start of an emotional affair.
Not a love story, but a story about love.
(Set between Season 3 and Season 4)
Prequel to my own series / Lead-in to Season 4 / Can be read as platonic or romantic.Series
- Part 1 of Casual Affair ~ Lila x Five
Recent series
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Date Everything: Compilation by FoolishSwine
Fandom: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game)
25 Jul 2025
- Words:
- 33,467
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
Moments in between—and beyond. Complicated, yet simple. Entirely innocent and completely fucked up.
Lila and Five aren’t having an affair. Or maybe they are. But not really. Mostly they’re just searching for an escape… and Five likes being called a good boy.
Each story can stand alone or connect, forming a story without a clear beginning or end.
Some are explicit, some are soft and some are a mix of the two. Read the tags.
- Words:
- 31,354
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 6
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
In hindsight, you never should have tried to save anyone at all. When you stopped Player 124 from being eliminated in the first game, it had been out of nothing more than misplaced guilt from watching your best friend get shot in front of you. You weren’t exactly expecting a “thank you”— especially not from a sadistic junkie with a hard-on for the rapper Thanos, the same man who caused your best friend’s death in the first place.
Now, you’re stuck between two men who can't decide if they owe you their life or own yours. Between Nam-gyu’s unsettling loyalty and Thanos’ possessive attentions, you’ve found yourself an unwilling third wheel to the two biggest sadists in these games. You’d give anything to ditch them for someone like Player 456, but they won’t let you go that easily.
Still, just because they’re keeping you alive doesn’t mean you have to like them. You hate them, and they know it.
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The things you do when you’re high don’t count… right?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,208
- Chapters:
- 7/10
- Comments:
- 433
- Kudos:
- 1,490
- Bookmarks:
- 209
- Hits:
- 30,389
Bookmarked by FoolishSwine
25 Jul 2025
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Summary
Moths tend to be attracted to flame.
What if Hermione's need to prove the pure-bloods wrong about Muggle-borns turned into a need to prove herself to one of them, the most prejudiced of them all?
The story of a brilliant but naive girl who fell in love with a Machiavellian, sociopathic bigot. Book based, not your typical LM/HG fanfic.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,306
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 141
- Bookmarks:
- 29
- Hits:
- 5,667
Bookmarked by FoolishSwine
05 Jun 2015