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    He'd made it halfway through writing the first note before it felt suddenly far too pathetic. Was this seriously the legacy he wanted to leave behind? No one would talk about any of his wins if he killed himself now. He would be the failed Russian team captain of the 2014 Olympics who couldn't handle the job and offed himself about it. His father would probably follow him in death just to yell at him for embarrassing the family, and Russia, and everyone who had ever rooted for him.

    And when he had been made captain in Boston, he had promised his Bears he would get them a cup. He couldn't just leave without doing that. Didn't want to leave and let people think he was a liar, or that he just gave up when things got hard, lazy, useless, stupid boy.

    He tore up the note he'd begun, and began his second plan instead.

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    13 Sep 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Following an afternoon of sex and tuna melts, Shane goes searching for the explicit rules of what being 'friends with benefits' entails. In his humble opinion, they're nailing it.

    Once friendship is on the table, Shane reconsiders the usefulness and immutability of the public rivalry narrative. Surely the NHL can make just as much money from a bromance as it can from a rivalry?

    A missed call from J.J., a dinner at All-Stars, and an ill-considered mad dash to the airport send Shane's season in a very different direction to the disciplined three-peat he'd been planning back in October.


    "This rivalry thing: it was everyone else who said we hated each other off the ice. There’s no rule that says we have to keep doing that forever.” Shane stared outside, past the blinding billboards and down at the streets below. “It was nice. Hanging out, last time.”

    He knew what it looked like when Rozanov shut down, when he closed himself off and pushed the world away. He’d finish the conversation abruptly, curt, clipped, and retreat. So Shane knew he’d won when Rozanov finally answered with: “Are we six years old, Hollander? Asking if I want to play in sandbox with you?"

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    12 Sep 2026

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    Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.

    The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”

    --
    Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.

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    10 Sep 2026

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    "Chlamydia?" Ilya has never heard Hollander's voice reach such heights in the absence of a cock. "You have chlamydia?"

    "I did not get it on purpose," Ilya complains.

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    10 Sep 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    It was a Friday when the video dropped.

    “What is happening?” He asked St Simon, who was holding his phone tight to his chest, his expression odd. “Someone has died?” 

    Across the room he could see Marlow moving slowly upright from where he had been doing floor stretches, his phone in his hand as well, his face pinched. 

    “It’s Hollander,” St Simon said. 

    The bottom of Ilya’s stomach fell out, closely followed by the rest of Ilya’s organs. His chest hurt so acutely that he thought he must be having a heart attack. 

    “Not dead,” St Simon added quickly, reaching out to grab Ilya’s shoulder when Ilya’s knees actually buckled. “Jesus, sorry. I should have - no it’s just -” 

    “Someone tell me what the fuck is going on,” Ilya snapped, “and everyone else shut up.” 

    Marlow reached him now, held his phone out to Ilya, open already to an article with a headline huge enough Ilya could easily make out the HOLLANDER blaring out of it even before his eyes focused and he took the phone from Marlow. 

    A video is posted online, for Shane it feels like a death sentence. For some parts of him, it is.

    Language:
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    06 Sep 2026