Illusory
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Summary
In the twisting corridors of Hogwarts, a certain half-Kneazle takes matchmaking into his own paws, because clearly, the humans aren’t up to the task. Armed with cunning, charm, and a distinct lack of subtlety, Crookshanks sets a trap that might just bring two stubborn hearts together. With an elusive and unsuspecting ally shimmering just out of sight, this is no ordinary love story - it’s feline persuasion at its finest.
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Hermione gestured at the parchments, her voice exasperated. "'She could barely fit both of her hands around it'? Really? Utterly impractical! No sensible witch wants a cock of that size. And look at this one - apparently, you have a serpent-like appendage that can coil around me like a python. What do they think a regular penis looks like?”
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Summary
It's Christmas, and Professor Snape is intrigued.
Why would Professor Granger stay at Hogwarts and refuse to celebrate?
She seems whitered, something is amiss but she keeps to herself, and Snape can't seem to let it be.
Perhaps if he watches her closely... if he manages to spend time with her, to get her distracted, get her to let her guard down... perhaps he would be able to find out.
Will tempting her with a challenge help her open up again?
Series
- Part 1 of Staff Room Secrets
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 0
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
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- 131
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- 123
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- 14
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- 1,264
Bookmarked by Illusory
05 Dec 2025
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Summary
Hermione and Severus get coerced into modeling for a new Weasley product.
Written for Potions and Parchment's flash fiction fest day 8 prompt: touch me like you mean it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,051
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 30
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- 177
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- 11
- Hits:
- 819
Bookmarked by Illusory
09 Jul 2025
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So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.
- Language:
- English
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- 151,873
- Chapters:
- 50/50
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- 209
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- 8,640
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- 79,657
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- 20,026
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- 3,399,872
Bookmarked by Illusory
15 Jun 2025
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Summary
Unspeakable Granger may not be able to make Time-turners, but she's still clever enough to use the leftover Time-sand.
If she can extract Snape from his timeline right before the moment of his death, then maybe she can save him. But it will take some trial and error—she'll have to start at the beginning of his timeline, and work her way up to the Shrieking Shack in order to calibrate correctly.
She'll save him.
Using 10-minute intervals at a time.
OR
Hermione gets to meet Severus throughout his own history: starting at Young!Severus and moving through to War!Severus. Flickering in and out of his life until she can save him, and falling in love through it all. :)
*COMPLETE* + Bonus: Epilogue!!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,461
- Chapters:
- 16/16
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- 960
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- 1,453
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Bookmarked by Illusory
29 May 2025
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How Easy You are to Need by CranialPressure
Fandoms: Game of Thrones (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
27 Jun 2024
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Summary
There was a proper response to this, she knew. Some well-established line Septa Mordane had probably told her a half a hundred times. 'What to do if some non-knight touches you indecently; how to demure when you knew he was speaking in innuendos.' It was hard to remember such silly courtesies when her thoughts were otherwise occupied, comparing the Hound's sturdy, thick fingers to Dontos' fleshy, clammy grip. Dontos had smelled vaguely of bed sores and day-old sick. He'd been stale all over but for the fog of dry white wine which now polluted Sansa's every breath. Clegane smelled like leather and iron and the sour red he preferred. Sansa hated red wines.
Still, she wanted Dontos' taste gone more thoroughly than her mouth rinse would do.
Bookmarked by Illusory
21 Apr 2024