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    Shane’s hearing is muffled, sound bubbling in and out like he’s swimming through the lake, dipping under the surface and back into the air. He can make out a word here and there, enough to know that Rozanov is trying to get him to breathe with him. He can feel the expansion of Rozanov’s lungs against his hands as he takes deep breaths in and lets them out. Shane tries to copy him, he does, but every inhale carries the scent of him, his cologne, his skin, his hair products. The scents are so familiar to him, and he wants more than anything for them to calm him, make him feel safe, but they are doing the opposite. Why are they still so familiar to him after not being anywhere near Rozanov for half a year? Why does he still want to shove his face against Rozanov’s throat and suck in every last last hint he can get?

    -

    Ilya takes longer to arrive in the bathroom after they present the award together, leaving Shane time to sink into a full-blown panic attack. This leads to a very different night in Vegas and an earlier beginning to Shane and Ilya’s relationship.

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    23 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    On the drive away from Shane's parent's cottage he realizes he wants to marry Ilya and he doesn't want to wait another second. Not even to change shoes.

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    2/2
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    21 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    When he was seven years old, Shane Hollander was briefly lost at an airport. Luckily, the kindness of a stranger ensured he made it back to his parents safely, putting an end to a terrifying three hours for the Hollanders. It takes twenty years (and one heated rivalry) for Shane to learn the name of his rescuer. It takes twenty years for Ilya to learn his wish had already come true.

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    17 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
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    15 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Oh shit.”

    Shane looked up, turned his head to where J.J. was sat across the aisle. The blue glow of his phone lit up the too-wide whites of his eyes staring down intently at whatever was on his screen. Shane’s stomach lurched again, anticipating a sudden stop his body hadn’t quite caught up to yet.

    “The Centaurs’ plane crashed in Tampa.”

    There was a moment where everything was still moving, where Shane and the world were still spinning at the same speed they both always had, and then it all came crashing down. Shane wasn’t sure whether it was him that had stopped, or the world around him, but either way, in a matter of seconds the distance between himself and the bus he had only a moment ago been sitting in became staggeringly, dizzyingly vast.

     

    The Centaur's emergency landing plays out a little bit worse, and Shane is left with the harsh reality of the cost of loving Ilya in secret.

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    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    6/6
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    15 Feb 2026