ItsJustResearch
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"Why? You gonna hate me any less? Am I gonna hate myself any less?"
"You'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself"Set after 5.04 The end.
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“Sam”
His brother’s voice put his brain’s self-pity party on hiatus.
“Yeah?”
Dean looked at him with a little concern and another expression he couldn’t quite place. “You okay, man?”
Again, Sam almost laughed. “Yeah, I’m fine”He's not. He's really not.
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Dean didn't think Sam would take it seriously when he had said they should pick a hemisphere and stay away from each other. After nine months of searching he has finally found his brother, but he was just a shell of the man he once was, separating himself from the rest of the world in a self-made prison of solitude. Dean has no idea how to put him back together again.
Sam knew he was a disease that destroyed everything around him. He has spent a long time trying to convince himself otherwise, but now after starting the apocalypse, Dean kicking him out of his life, and a few weeks of extreme torture by a group of hunters, he has finally accepted who he is. He gets as far away from humanity as he possibly can with plans to live out the rest of his unworthy existence in isolation. The world would be better off without him.
Dean disagrees.
Dean POV. Canon divergence from when Sam calls Dean at the beginning of Episode S05E04 The end.
Series
- Part 1 of Better off without me
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Sam doesn't go to Stanford. Sam POV
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“You know, your mother died trying to save you. She’s dead because of you! The least you could do is stop being an ungrateful piece of shit and avenge her.”
Sam froze in his spot. His duffel bag slipped out of his grip and landed on the dirty motel carpet with a soft thud.
John won the big fight. But at what cost?
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"I know you don't trust me. I don't trust me either. The problem is me."
Sam tries to control the problem.
Sam POV. Canon divergence from when Sam leaves Dean at the end of S05E02.
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Dean knows Sam is Lucifer's vessel and he has told Sam to stay away. Sam's lost, but he keeps himself afloat by doing the one thing he knows he can still do. He hunts. He wasn't aware he was being hunted too.
Prequel to Better Off Without Me. Can be read as Standalone.
Series
- Part 2 of Better off without me
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‘You struggled out there today.’ he said, tone measured, even, careful.
‘And I’ve been trying to give you space. Tried not to rush you. Tried not to pry. I thought if I stepped back, if I didn’t push, maybe you’d find your way back on your own. But it’s been months, Buck. And I don’t think this is grief anymore. I think you’re shutting down.’
Or, Buck starts texting Bobby again.
Bookmarked by ItsJustResearch
28 Jan 2026
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Bookmarked by ItsJustResearch
02 Aug 2025
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Of all the lists one might expect Sam Winchester to keep, a list of things he's grateful for is probably not one of them.
Dean certainly doesn't think so. (But he'd be surprised.)Bookmarked by ItsJustResearch
03 Jul 2025
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Of course, he remembers Sam Winchester. Sam was one of those students, the kind you wonder about years later. Matt Wyatt is famous for his success with the gifted hard-luck cases, and Sam is one that got away. His colleagues tease him for being an idealist, but Wyatt still believes he can make a difference. It was quite possibly the strangest story that Mr. Wyatt had ever read...
Bookmarked by ItsJustResearch
12 May 2025
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Sam’s in a coma after he fails to complete the trials. Everyone’s telling Dean that his brother most likely won’t recover, that the machines will keep him alive but he most likely won’t wake up.
(Or)
Au where Gadreel doesn’t end up possessing Sam. Sam’s still stuck in a coma but Dean is convinced he can find a way to save him with a little help from Cas, and little too much help from dream root.
(Takes place right after the season 8 finale, and during the first episode of season 9)
Series
- Part 1 of Don’t Bury My Brother
Bookmarked by ItsJustResearch
19 Nov 2024