Jayspine
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“Sí, pero no eres un hombre,” then she laughed, “ni siquiera un hijo”.”
*You are not a man, not even a boy.*
So naturally, the child dreamed of being a boy. If it was already a boy was hard to tell. At the time, it didn’t really feel like it was anything at all.
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A detailed oversight of Javier's life and relationships if he were transgender and his developing perspective on what it means to be a man. Accompanied by John's struggle to be a father, while dealing with his own thoughts.
This fic does not shy away from talking about threats of rape, descriptions of the human body, and internal conflict. There is NO major explicit sex, and the fic focuses more on Javier's life rather than any romanticism with John but it's not queer bait. Don't expect fluff or happy relationships.
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Take speedingbullet, but give them both crippling internalized transphobia/homophobia
This entire fic came to me in a dream so it's a little disjointed
**UPDATE AS OF 1/19/26
Sorry, I wrote this fic at a real low time, don't have the courage to finish the last two chapters despite having them drafted. It's basically concluded though if you're wondering. As now it's abandoned, perhaps one day I will come back to finish or rewrite this. Thank you for understanding <3
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"Time had stopped mattering for him long ago with a single bullet fired from hundreds of yards away. As far as he cared, he was just waiting for his to run out." Boone has no will to live, vacillating between a callous killer and a man with a conscience and a dark past. The Courier has a worthless eye and absolutely no past. The two need each other, whether they like it or not. The slowest possible burn you can possibly imagine for a story like this. Slash in chapter 32 if you need to skip ahead and don't want to wait 100k words for it. COMPLETE.
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After a decade out of his job, the retired Frenchman is called again by no less than the Minister of Defense himself. There is a case to solve, that only Lucien can deal with. So he puts on his suit and tie again and flies to Australia where his target is.
He does a good job on his own, until a certain wild kangaroo barges into his mission, and his life.
(Not a sequel to Solitude!)
(Updates every couple of days)- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 387,338
- Chapters:
- 110/110
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Bookmarked by Jayspine
04 Jan 2025
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Internalized homophobia my beloved (but with a happy ending)
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Working under RED can be repetitive at times - but nothing like this.
After a curse is fired his way, Scout is forced to live through the same day over and over and over again.
It should be easy for someone as perfect as Scout to break the curse, right?
As long as he doesn't have to confront the things he's been feeling towards Sniper it should be a piece of cake!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 135,988
- Chapters:
- 8/8
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Bookmarked by Jayspine
12 Jan 2025
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MY FAV TAGS WITH AMAZING WRITING <3
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He felt refreshed. The water hit him so softly, comforting him.
His cries were as soft as the blissful drops that hit his bare skin.
He didn’t feel gross anymore. He felt safe. He felt like he was beautiful. Like there was nothing wrong with him. Like his body was never violated, like he’d always been normal, happy.
title is an alex g song : ) hope u enjoy
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"Carrington pulled his hair, relishing in the aching pain that seemingly loosened everything behind his eyes, if only for a moment. He pulled again, sighing. Loose hairs collected in his hands. The pain felt good, grounding, like if he could lose himself in the pinpricks he could forget about his hellish job for just a minute."