Jey
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Summary
Harry Potter, 23, omega, menace.
Voldemort, 130, looks 30, acts 300, a sweet old man who looks like sin, thinks forehead kisses are risqué.
Harry’s plan?
Seduce the nation’s hottest retired alpha using elder care, joint tonic, and strategic pie placement.
His visits are anything but innocent. Voldemort remains oblivious.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,392
- Chapters:
- 55/55
- Comments:
- 3,587
- Kudos:
- 4,334
- Bookmarks:
- 950
- Hits:
- 116,458
Bookmarked by Jey
08 Nov 2025
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Summary
Harry expects nightmares when Madam Pomfrey refuses to give him any more Dreamless Sleep. What he doesn't expect is to have his first soulmate dream only days after Voldemort returned.
He would've preferred the nightmares.
Series
- Part 1 of I Can't Carry This
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 103,547
- Chapters:
- 85/85
- Collections:
- 40
- Comments:
- 8,561
- Kudos:
- 18,868
- Bookmarks:
- 3,994
- Hits:
- 635,067
Bookmarked by Jey
19 Oct 2025
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Summary
Rejected from the desired data unit internship, Harry is stuck in the company’s least glamorous department.
The job is pointless and boring, but maybe the mysterious, tall and handsome colleague he keeps running into can make things more interesting?Series
- Part 4 of ferocious_mermaid’s crackfic collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,580
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 74
- Kudos:
- 644
- Bookmarks:
- 157
- Hits:
- 4,277
Bookmarked by Jey
25 Sep 2025
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Summary
Everyone always says Harry Potter has unnaturally good luck, but he’s not convinced. He’s nothing special, just your average bloke trying to make his way in the world.
Tom Riddle, top-ranked professional poker player, makes his own luck, thank you very much. And he isn’t about to let anyone get in his way.
When a business trip, a poker tournament, and adjacent rooms in Caesar’s Palace set these two stars of fortune on a collision course, what happens next is very unlikely to stay in Vegas.
Bookmarked by Jey
26 Jul 2025
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Summary
Tom Riddle loves: money, power, being spoiled, murdering people he hates, cigarettes, magic, topping men twice his age and fried bacon.
Tom Riddle hates: his boss Lord Charles Bancroft, the mold that grows in his flat, the Ministry of Magic, the rich, useless people, purebloods and useless rich purebloods working for the Ministry of Magic.Harry Potter loves: drinking, flying on his broom,
murdering dark wizards, cigarettes, his friends, bottoming for twinks half his age, his owl Hedwig and spoiling people.
Harry Potter hates: useless rich purebloods working for the Ministry of Magic, having his socks touch something wet, cold beds, injustice, bureocracy, fame and when his glasses become dirty even if he doesn't touch them.What else is there to say?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,514
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 130
- Kudos:
- 1,015
- Bookmarks:
- 245
- Hits:
- 14,258
Bookmarked by Jey
15 Jun 2025