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Summary
Hatake Kakashi doesn't want a genin team. ANBU Hound can protect the village well enough, and he didn't have to deal with things like emotions.
Kakashi already had plenty of things keep his mind off his numerous failures. Like S- rank missions, or A-rank missions, or occasionally socializing with an algorithmically selected friend group whenever the Psych department started to question his fitness for the field, or even a B-rank mission when he wanted to relax.
Things are fine - could a depressed person spend 70% of their time reading jutsu theory and refining their abilities, trying to fill their never-ending loneliness with studying and rationality?
(Yes.)
Hiruzen gives him a team anyway. Fuck.Or
How I’d write Naruto given that the Elemental Nations are all authoritarian military dictatorships, trauma is real, and Kakashi’s only coping skill is being better than everybody else. Ft. A Frankly Excessive Amount of Worldbuilding.
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The Boss never was one to turn away learning something in the field. It was one of his best features. Didn’t mean he always liked it, but then, Marcus wasn’t here to make things easy on him - just to get things done and keep him safe. Protecting his heart from being broken was just one more thing on the list.
Wherein: Alex gets “The Talk” from a very concerned Marcus with all of the efficiency and subtlety of a SCORPIA Strike Team Assault
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Luck of the Devil by galimau, Valaks
Fandoms: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
10 Dec 2023
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In the wake of a death eater attack, Alex Rider finds himself in the hands of a very peculiar group of counter insurgents who seem to have no knowledge of the political hornet’s nest they kicked over.
Wherein Alex Rider’s attempt at diplomatic relations with one obtuse English organization has put him on a crash course with an even more frustrating one.
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The article in The Economist hadn’t necessarily shaken the world but it had certainly shaken Kabir Khatri enough to reach out to Sabina Pleasure - an old Uni friend and editor of The Economist - for dinner and hopefully some gossip on his former classmate née terrorist. He probably should have expected the plus one.
A sequel to Age of Anxiety, a Devil and the Deep Blue Sea spinoff, featuring a character from Reunion.
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SCORPIA didn’t allow for morals but three years in Alex was still clinging stubbornly to those he had left. The disappearance of Yassen under Alex’s watch threatens to change all of that. With nothing else to lean on other than his training Alex learns just what he is willing to do for the man who made him.
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In the year and a half since his supposed death Yassen Gregorovich had been a busy man. Unfortunately, Alex Rider had been busy too. They had a gentleman’s agreement for handling their business in the field but this was different. The teen had gone to the trouble of finding him, determining his target, and the ideal location of the hit. It would be a shame to waste that kind of effort, besides he needed to know how he had done it when his employers hadn’t. He would go to Alex’s meeting and then he would get his answers.
Or
Alex Rider needs an adult. For just a few minutes. And they can’t be affiliated with MI6. Unfortunately there’s only one person left in his life that matches that description.
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Sometimes he thinks about turning to Sherlock and saying, 'look, my name isn't actually John,' and telling him about how he's been living off adrenaline since he was fourteen.
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The Devil Went Down to Georgia by galimau, Valaks
Fandoms: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
06 Oct 2021
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Retirement had been rough for Joe Byrne. Years of pushing his mind to the breaking point analyzing global trends and threats and suddenly the most stimulating thing he had was a sudoku puzzle and the direct line to the head of SCORPIA that he hadn’t quite had the heart to turn in after years of undisclosed tip offs mixed in with splashes of humor. Not that Rider would give it up either, from everything he knew about him he was isolated and ruthless and got dangerously attached to the people close by. Byrne was one of the lucky few. Which is why he shouldn’t have been surprised when Alex Rider showed up at his door on Thanksgiving day with a bottle of tequila and a smile.
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London was supposed to be a big enough city to get lost in, yet somehow the Brooklands Alums keep running into their most enigmatic ex-classmate. No one likes a high school reunion, but everyone does enjoy some good gossip and Alex Rider has always been an excellent source of that.
OR
The 5 times Brooklands Alums ran into Alex Rider in the wild and the one time he ran into them.
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Things That Bleed by artistfingers, Ghostly_Cabbage, kkachis
Fandoms: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz, Alex Rider (TV 2020), Danny Phantom, SCP Foundation
16 Sep 2025
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Summary
The portal took more than Danny had to give, and he’s been on his own ever since.
What happened in Cairo sent Alex on a downward spiral, and MI6 should have known it would.
Yassen shouldn’t protect them, but he will.
⫷ ⫷ ⨳ ⫸ ⫸
Things That Bleed is written to be fandom-agnostic and can be read and enjoyed regardless of knowledge level of any of the source medias. We welcome all readers interested in the premise!
Series
- Part 1 of Things That Bleed
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Yassen knew it wouldn't end well for little Alex. The assassin's dull existence within the secret prison in Gibraltar is disrupted suddenly by the little spy's arrival. Babysitting a traumatized teenager with violent fits, mood swings, and who firmly believes that they're both dead wasn't exactly how Yassen imagined he'd spend his retirement. This stupid family.
Series
- Part 1 of Of Madness and Mammals
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“Blessed Spirit, we thank you for the gift of this child’s life. We are forever in your debt.” The whole village is kneeling now, even the tiniest toddlers flopped down on their stomachs doing their best approximation of a bow. “Please, won’t you give us a name to call you? We would like to properly express our gratitude.”
Oh.
Well shit.
(Where Zuko saves a little Earth Kingdom girl from drowning, the villagers think he's a Spirit, build him a shrine, and long story short, a fake story about the Blue Spirit who dances with dragons suddenly becomes very real.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,265
- Chapters:
- 5/?
- Collections:
- 51
- Comments:
- 3,672
- Kudos:
- 23,072
- Bookmarks:
- 8,274
- Hits:
- 290,346
Bookmarked by Orah
23 Jan 2025
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Summary
“Shinobi die,” the Matchmaker tells her bluntly. “Life as a shinobi is hard, ugly and beyond all thankless. It will be much easier for you to bring honour to your family through a suitable marriage than as a kunoichi.”
“I know,” Sakura says, though she truthfully thinks that she has very little idea of what life as a shinobi is actually like. She raises her chin, meeting the older woman’s gaze. “I want to become a kunoichi.”
Sakura is raised by her sickly mother and her late father's clan. The clan wants her to become a lady and marry a noble, but her mother wants her to become a shinobi. In the end, Sakura will have to make a choice. But even as she makes her choice there is no guarantee that she will succeed.
This is the story of how Sakura becomes a shinobi.
AKA, the one where Kakashi has been a soldier since he was five years old and has no idea what to do with a little lady-in-training.
Series
- Part 1 of Ninja in Progress
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Summary
A missing-nin dies while trapped under one of Itachi's genjutsu. He knows that it sounds impressive, but they'd been sent to capture her. It's really not much of a catastrophe, but when Itachi kills someone, he likes to know how the hell he did it.
Series
- Part 1 of The Legend of God's Eyes
Bookmarked by Orah
08 Aug 2024
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
One of the best character depictions of Uchiha Itachi ever written. There’s some more fics in this universe the author wrote but didn’t include in this series.
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The world quiets. Alex can only watch as time takes its toll on Yassen.
Making a man from a mythology, piece by piece.
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For SpyFest 2024, week two: "Legend"
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,548
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 143
- Bookmarks:
- 24
- Hits:
- 973
Bookmarked by Orah
23 Jul 2024
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Summary
With Kakashi at his back, Itachi expects his ANBU initiation mission to go smoothly. With his own doubts, an informant who tries to kill him repeatedly, and a mercurial Tsuyu Shisui in the mix, Itachi might have fallen in rougher waters then he can swim.
Series
- Part 1 of Wind Over Tide Universe
Bookmarked by Orah
14 Jul 2024
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
This fic is the reason for this collection. I highly recommend it. The story arc continues with Capsize. The shorter fics in the series are little tidbits in between the main story line.
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Summary
Naruto smiles up at him like there’s nothing wrong. His blond hair starts to turn to the color of blood, his blue eyes cloud into red. “I’ll see you on the other side.” He says, just before he burns up right in front of his eyes.
Sasuke screams until he lands flat on his back in a time that’s not his.Sasuke is tossed back into the past to stop the end of the world, but maybe the universe had wanted Naruto instead.
There's a wild Kurama running loose, rebuilding something that was lost long ago, and maybe thats a problem.
(Or: Time travel where it's Sasuke and Kurama who make it, for better or for worse)
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Summary
That year's Chuunin Exams were a nightmare. Literally. One of the kids favored genjutsu.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,153
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 63
- Kudos:
- 768
- Bookmarks:
- 203
- Hits:
- 14,039
Bookmarked by Orah
26 Nov 2022
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Summary
Alex is easy to be with, even when he’s being irritating and avoiding her questions and making stupid jokes about being a spy, and it almost makes up for the fact that Sabina feels like she’s been on her own out here, falling in love with him all summer, sending him emails and IM requests and avoiding her friends’ questions.