Peterparkersdad
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Roy bares his teeth and tries to shake him off, but Jamie’s young and Roy is ancient, so it’s clear that Jamie’s going to win this fight. Are they fighting? Jamie isn’t sure.
“If you think that I’m going to just stand by and let that shitfucker-“
“What, call me names?” Jamie asks, confused. “They’re just words, Roy. It don’t matter.”
“It very much fucking matters,” Roy says darkly.
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I try to love my dad for who he is and forgive him for who he isn’t. After the Man City match, Jamie can't stop thinking about what Higgins said to him that day.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,556
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- 1/1
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- 2
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- 82
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Bookmarked by Peterparkersdad
07 Mar 2026
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“Uncle Roy?”
“Yes, Phoebe.” It was an unplanned ‘take Phoebe to work’ day. One without the team, at least. Planning sessions. He’d sit Phoebe down with her headphones for as much of it as he could.
“Can I stay with you?”
“What the fuck do you call this?”
“One pound,” Phoebe reminded him. “And I mean forever.”
“I-” What? “I’m not going anywhere,” Roy promised. He’d picked Richmond from a few options when his career was pretty much over because it was closest to his sister and Phoebe, and he wasn’t leaving now. Had the coaching job and a mortgage. For tax reasons, he was supposed to pay monthly instead of buying it outright, apparently.
“I don’t like Mum’s boyfriend.”Bookmarked by Peterparkersdad
07 Mar 2026
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Summary
Roy seeks out Keeley's advice to curb some of Jamie's behaviour in early season 1. A deal is struck. Things escalate.
- Words:
- 21,798
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 246
Bookmarked by Peterparkersdad
04 Mar 2026
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The absolute worst person Roy can imagine meeting the yoga mums is Jamie Tartt. Roy spent far too many hours drinking rosé and glaring daggers as Jamie fucked his way through the cast of Lust Conquers All to explain to them all now that actually, Jamie’s been his coworker for the past three years and actually, they spend most of their days together and actually, Roy doesn’t completely hate the little prick.
Not to mention, then Jamie would inevitably pick up on how many hours Roy spent drinking rosé and glaring daggers as Jamie fucked his way through the cast of Lust Conquers All. And that sounds fucking exhausting.
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Or, five times Roy successfully keeps Jamie from meeting the yoga mums, and one time he fails.
Bookmarked by Peterparkersdad
02 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
The yoga mums, it turns out, think Roy’s gay. He didn’t initially catch that when he joined their yoga sessions, didn’t necessarily realize why they always ended up at G-A-Y, but eventually he pieced it together.
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‘Ok, Jamie. Fuck, marry, kill: Ted, Beard and Roy.’
‘Marry Roy, fuck Beard, kill Ted,’ Jamie replies instantly. They hadn’t even given him a hard one, the answer was so obvious he didn’t even need to think before responding. Except by the few gasps he hears and the way his teammates are staring at him, they don’t agree, which is dumb because that’s objectively the right answer.Or Alternatively: A game of fuck marry kill leads to revalations for both Roy and Jamie and they compltely fail to be remotely normal about each other.
Series
- Part 1 of Fuck Marry Kill Verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,242
- Chapters:
- 3/3
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- 141
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- 2,025
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Bookmarked by Peterparkersdad
01 Mar 2026