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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,415
- Kudos:
- 30,387
- Bookmarks:
- 12,077
- Hits:
- 1,827,011
Bookmarked by Ralda
14 Apr 2024
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Draco, Theo, and Hermione are navigating their world in the years after the war. A chance encounter brings a change none of them were expecting - and one they all didn't realize they needed.
A Triad Tale.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 92,868
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 89
- Kudos:
- 1,261
- Bookmarks:
- 444
- Hits:
- 43,611
Bookmarked by Ralda
29 Mar 2024
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Caput Mortuum: A useless substance left over from a chemical operation and the epitome of decline and decay, literally ‘dead head’ or ‘worthless remains’. A dark purple pigment.
Lucius Malfoy is the Minister for Magic, after The Order was unable to remain in power post-War. Draco Malfoy is the powerless figurehead of his father’s new regime. Banned from doing nearly everything (except the occasional topless photo shoot to cover up the more unsavoury aspects of Lucius’ plans), he has lost all hope for a better world. But Hermione Granger has just been captured and brought back to The Manor. And instead of being afraid, she looks like this is exactly where she wants to be. After years of apathy, Draco realises that he wants to know why.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,458
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,205
- Kudos:
- 3,401
- Bookmarks:
- 1,915
- Hits:
- 170,092
Bookmarked by Ralda
18 Mar 2024
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A Little Excitement, If You Please by nottooproud
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter - Fandom
04 May 2024
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Hermione is 30.
And bored.Bookmarked by Ralda
24 Feb 2024
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Hermione, now in her mid-20s, is back at Hogwarts to pursue higher education. Trying to forget the trauma carved into her by the war, she spends one lust-filled night with a certain pureblood. But that night will have consequences.
While her personal life unravels, a string of mysterious murders forces her to work together with Draco Malfoy, who himself seems to carry many secrets."He scared her. Not because he wielded killing curses like they were nothing, but because he seemed to understand her in a way that even she didn’t. The more she let him in, the more power he had to destroy her."
Come for the smut, stay for the plot.
Read if you like:
- Murder mystery
- Dark Arts
- Hurt/ Comfort
- Hermione and Draco both deal with PTSD
- Angst, so much angst- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 150,499
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Comments:
- 2,807
- Kudos:
- 19,567
- Bookmarks:
- 7,605
- Hits:
- 1,124,307
Bookmarked by Ralda
24 Feb 2024

