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The Only Recipe For Lasagna You'll Ever Need by urbanAnchorite (t_ZM)
Fandoms: Homestuck
11 Apr 2011
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Summary
Choose lasagna as good first meal for boy humans (1) and boy trolls (1) to show you can overcome this cooking thing. Feel impugned when Rose suggests you would both eat popcorn between two slices of bread and call it a day. Advise her you only did that the once.
Bookmarked by Raql
23 Mar 2019
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IN WHICH TWO SETS OF HUMAN BROTHERLY BONDS ARE ESTABLISHED, SEVERAL CORRUPT INSTITUTIONS OF MORALITY ARE IDEOLOGICALLY DEMOLISHED, A DOG WITCH USES GOD POWERS TO MESS WITH EXQUISITELY CAREFULLY PLANNED INFRASTRUCTURE PLANS FOR SOME TREES LIKE A JACKASS,-- by optimisticDuelist (lasciviousWildheart)
Fandoms: Homestuck
16 Jan 2017
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--APPROXIMATELY A BILLION FUCKING CONSORTS AND CHESS PEOPLE, ALONG WITH A LOT OF USELESS GOD MODED LAYABOUTS ARE LEAD TO SUCCESSFUL COLONIZATION AND ESTABLISHMENT BY A SUCCESSFUL AND COMPASSIONATE LEADER, AND LONG-SUNDERED SOULMATES TORN APART BY FEAR AND DEVASTATING, MIND-BOGGLING STUPIDITY ARE REUNITED AT LAST BY A WISE, COMPASSIONATE BOSS / GUIDANCE FIGURE AND HIS LOYAL, EFFICIENT RIGHT-HAND MAN. THERE ARE AT LEAST THREE CRYING SCENES, TWO KISSES, AND OVER TEN TOTAL MINUTES OF REAL-TIME DESCRIPTION OF LONGING GAZES AND TENDER HUGS. 2 RESOUNDING ENDORSEMENTS OF BELOVED MUNICIPAL OFFICIALS. PRIMERS ON HUMAN/TROLL INTERSPECIES ROMANCE.
THIS TEXT IS SUGGESTED SCHOOLFEEDING MATERIAL FOR ALL REASONABLY GROWN HATCHLINGS GAZING OUT ON THE BLIGHTED WASTELAND OF THEIR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, WISHING THEY WERE DEAD, AND DESPERATELY YEARNING SOMEONE WOULD CLUE THEM IN ON JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
RATED 8(17)+ AND UP.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 87,263
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 250
- Kudos:
- 1,163
- Bookmarks:
- 247
- Hits:
- 23,177
Bookmarked by Raql
23 Mar 2019
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“You ready?” you ask, and the most important human in the galaxy sticks her tongue out at you. Several of your organs do a giddy flip. Then the knot is tied and that’s it, you’re moirails.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,076
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 42
- Kudos:
- 748
- Bookmarks:
- 172
- Hits:
- 5,365
Bookmarked by Raql
22 Mar 2019
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Summary
You keep trying to pretend this is just some kind of awful dayterror. You'll wake up any minute and go bitch to Kankri about how being on this planet is bad for your sensitive temperament. Any minute.
Not this minute. This minute the humans are shoving you into a scraped-bare ablution block that reeks of unfamiliar, cloying-sweet chemicals and letting you just fall on your front like a miserable mistreated tool.
Bookmarked by Raql
22 Mar 2019
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In which seven and a half sweeps old Karkat Vantas, member of her Imperial Luminesce's Threshecutioner Corps, takes his moirail's kismesis out on an errand, encounters a variety of problems to do with sea monsters, becomes involved in excruciatingly complicated relationship tangles with his moirail's kismesis' inclade and ends up flipping as many tables as he does quadrants. Contains two ocean-going fight scenes, one lusus, distressing incidences of clown cultism, his lawyer, and absolutely no interactions with the quinity whatsoever.
Series
- Part 2 of Hemostuck
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 92,485
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 340
- Kudos:
- 2,298
- Bookmarks:
- 395
- Hits:
- 87,974
Bookmarked by Raql
22 Mar 2019
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"And then I saw a new Alternia, for the old Alternia had passed away." -- St. Troll John Cusack
How the Empire knelt to a clown, a mutant and a lawyer.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 130,209
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Comments:
- 565
- Kudos:
- 4,172
- Bookmarks:
- 1,269
- Hits:
- 187,376
Bookmarked by Raql
22 Mar 2019
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Summary
How do you adjust to a normal life after living through the end of the world? At the expense of whoever is foolish enough to date you apparently. You meet the strangest boy, the most Amazing Girl. You meet Rose Lalonde in college and John Egbert in Bolivia and all of them are a little off, a little broken, a little wrong in exactly the same way.
Bookmarked by Raql
22 Mar 2019
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General Vantas Gets Hitched, or, The Limits Of Bilateral Diplomacy: A Black Powder Romance by JumpingJackFlash
Fandoms: Homestuck
27 Mar 2012
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Summary
In which a mutant too famous to cull is dropped like a grenade into the midst of the peace process, a foolish monarch proves himself secretly shrewd, the power of friendship functions as a force multiplier, and it is discovered that in the Great Game of espionage, the dealer does not always win.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,347
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 433
- Kudos:
- 2,487
- Bookmarks:
- 699
- Hits:
- 65,012
Bookmarked by Raql
21 Mar 2019
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Summary
Three dark mage-kings known as the Sea Lords, the Orphaner and his two sons, hold the world in an iron grip. The reincarnation of an ancient hero known as the Sufferer leads a rebellion against their power. For all the blood and magic spilled, it seems the world will be at war forever.
Rebel spymaster Sollux Captor is kidnapped by one of the Sea Lords to break a puzzling code. He's sure his fate is interrogation and death, or worse. But the lines between friend and foe are less clear than they seemed, and his captivity may have placed him in the perfect position to turn the tide.
[inspired by the world of the 'Black Company' series by Glen Cook; you don't need to be familiar with it to understand this story.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 78,733
- Chapters:
- 41/?
- Comments:
- 507
- Kudos:
- 1,499
- Bookmarks:
- 295
- Hits:
- 37,484
Bookmarked by Raql
21 Mar 2019