Shitty_biscuit
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Speaking In Tongues by Jellyfax
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek
07 Jan 2019
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Summary
"Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you’re good at everything. You couldn’t compare to my linguistic ability and you know it!”
He frowned. “I could be good at linguistics.” Uhura huffed incredulously. Jim’s frown deepened. “Give me a language and I’ll learn it.”She raised a brow. “Fluently?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Uhura smiled wryly. Oh this was going to be fun. “Fine. Any language I choose, in a month, or you have to report to Admiral Pike completely naked and tell him what you claimed to be able to do, and just how wrong you were. Deal?”
“And if I do it then you have to do something for me? If I do it, you have to tell me your first name, and go on a date with me.” Jim stuck his hand out. Uhura eyed it, considering him for a moment before taking it and shaking it firmly, a smile burgeoning on her face.
“Vulcan.”
He froze. “What?”
“You have to learn Vulcan.”
In which Jim has to learn Vulcan for a bet, and learns a lot more along the way.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,607
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 97
- Kudos:
- 2,495
- Bookmarks:
- 461
- Hits:
- 25,708
Bookmarked by Shitty_biscuit
06 Dec 2025
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Summary
It was only supposed to be a mother-daughter holiday. But Rose Weasley is her mother's daughter, and her best friend happens to be Scorpius Malfoy.
“You need to come now,” Hermione whispered. “I think I may be an accessory to kidnapping Draco Malfoy’s son.”
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Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy are on a mission to set up their parents. What better time to parent-trap them together than the week-long Christmas Holiday Hermione has been planning for three months?Series
- Part 1 of Mission T.I.T.S and Other Mischiefs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 143,200
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 2,649
- Kudos:
- 6,638
- Bookmarks:
- 2,283
- Hits:
- 249,543
Bookmarked by Shitty_biscuit
27 Nov 2025
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Summary
For a moment, she's almost giddy. Because Draco Malfoy's been ruined by this war and he's as out of place as she is and — yes, he has scars too. He's got an even bigger one. She wonders whether one day they'll compare sizes.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 148,908
- Chapters:
- 51/51
- Collections:
- 123
- Comments:
- 5,840
- Kudos:
- 34,486
- Bookmarks:
- 10,432
- Hits:
- 1,483,971
Bookmarked by Shitty_biscuit
14 Nov 2025
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Summary
Five years after the war, Hermione Granger has very little time for something like a relationship. She's far too busy trying to run the Bureau for Endangered Creatures efficiently, dealing with budget cuts and ignorant ministry officials and finding a way to somehow restore her parents' memories, who are still in Australia and none the wiser about the existence of their daughter.
When she discovers that the Wizengamot plans to use Draco Malfoy as a scapegoat whilst dealing with elusive Voldemort loyalists, she offers to testify for him. She's not quite sure how it led to her trying on wedding dresses under the watchful eye of Narcissa Malfoy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 320,000
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 22
- Comments:
- 3,299
- Kudos:
- 12,688
- Bookmarks:
- 4,658
- Hits:
- 686,483
Bookmarked by Shitty_biscuit
13 Nov 2025
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Summary
“One night,” she echoed. “At yours.”
He gave a small shrug. “Why not?”
She considered this, a hundred reasons flickering through her head which mostly ended with the same outcome—because she was Hermione Granger and he was Draco Malfoy.
*******
As if being assigned as Hermione’s Auror protection officer isn’t bad enough for Draco, it happening a few days after the two of them shared a one night stand might just tip him over the edge.
Especially when Ginny spurs Hermione to going on dates with other people, and seeing as he can’t leave Hermione’s side he has to accompany her on every single one.
Series
- Part 1 of The Muffliato Rule
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,654
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 307
- Kudos:
- 2,493
- Bookmarks:
- 637
- Hits:
- 48,235
Bookmarked by Shitty_biscuit
21 Jun 2025