BetterNameToCome (SpoonDeficiency)



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  1. Summary

    “Me finding out that instead of mysterious and cool, people think I’m autistic and lesbian.”

    Ilya and Shane get Reddit’s advice under the aliases Lily and Jane. Things spiral from there….

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  2. Words:
    123,534
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    3
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    23
  3. Words:
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    Works:
    1
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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “I dare you not to know who I am. One night before it all kicks off. Like we just met, as strangers.”

    “Just me and you,” Rozanov mused, before he grinned and put out the cigarette. “You want I treat you like any other pretty boy I meet at party?”

    “I’m not pretty,” Shane objected. “But—” it sounded dangerous— “yes.”

    Tomorrow, the rivalry between Hollander and Rozanov begins. Tonight, they’re just Shane and Ilya.

    An alternate meeting AU in which Ilya doesn’t join the NHL until Shane’s second year.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,458
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    138
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    1,060
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    27 Apr 2026

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    "Obviously Troy does not think we are together if he is asking you on a date now.”

    “Or does he?” Shane said, and broke away to pace the length of the kitchen. “What if he was testing you? Seeing if you would admit it when he asked for my number? And what if he’s testing me, now, to see how I respond?”

    “Why would he do that?” said Ilya, tonelessly.

    “To catch us out!” Shane said, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. “Troy definitely figured out we were together when you came out to him. For all you know, the others on your team might have figured it out too, if we’ve been as obvious as we apparently have been this whole time. What if they just want us to admit it? What if they’re messing with us?”
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    Or, Troy asks Ilya for Shane’s number. Ilya, not knowing how to say no without raising suspicion, gives it to him. Hijinks ensue. Secrets are revealed. Loosely inspired by the Friends episode The One Where Everybody Finds Out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,152
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    04 Apr 2026

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    “Well, they had pretty good steak, but I don’t know if they’d have anything you would like,” Hayden says, and kicks off his shoes. He falls onto his bed with a contented sigh, then looks over at Shane, who hasn’t said anything yet. “Shane? You good?”

    Shane means to say he’s fine, but what comes out instead is: “Rose is having a baby.”

    Hayden sits up abruptly.

    “Whoa,” he says. “You’re serious?”

    “Yeah,” says Shane. “She just called me. She took three tests.”

    “Been there, brother,” says Hayden, his eyes wide. Shane puts his head in his hands again.

    ~

    A few weeks after Rose and Shane split up, Rose discovers that she's pregnant. Overwhelmed by the prospect of fatherhood, Shane puts off confronting Ilya about his feelings, and they never hook up at the All-Stars Game. They find their way back to each other anyway.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,903
    Chapters:
    7/17
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    577
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    16 Apr 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark 43

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    The phone was still ringing.
    Shane took a deep breath and pressed answer.
    “Hello?”
    He was immediately met with an overwhelming cacophony of noise.
    “Hollaannddeerrr!” Rozanov’s voice screamed into the phone, fighting to be heard over the sound of deafening Russian club music, the heavy beats making Shane’s phone vibrate.

    Or
    Moscow to Montreal: Drunk Dials
    Five times Ilya Rozanov drunk dials Shane Hollander in the summer of 2016, and one time Shane drunk dials back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,825
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    389
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    26 Apr 2026

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    “Okay, Roz, the challenge is simple,” Davey says, slightly hurried like he knows he’s losing their focus. “Three questions. First, think of the best sex of your life.”

    “Yes.”

    Rozanov looks very relaxed, surrounded by his team, casually indulging rookies like he has all the time in the world.

    “Now, uh, you grade it out of ten. Not the person, like—not how hot the person was, but how good the sex was, yeah?”

    “Would be same answer anyway,” Rozanov says easily. “Twelve.”

     

    Or, a video of Ilya doing the “fuckboy challenge” is posted. The internet reacts.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,846
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Comments:
    457
    Kudos:
    2,932
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    483
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    26 Apr 2026

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