aayjay
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"Hey, it's, uh, me..." And Dean sucks in a breath and sees stars from how badly he needs to breathe. He bites it back. As best as he can, and ends up hiccuping, gulping air like he’s dying from the need of it. "It's, I- I hate you and you hate me but there's- I need you." I need you. Dean's full of stuff he's never admitted before today- I loved you. I need you. God, he might as well just die here.
"Dean." Seth says, and he's not hanging up, and the music goes away and Seth's voice gets clearer. "Are you okay?" It's less a question, more of a confirmation, Dean thinks.
He feels at his weakest when he says, "No."- Set after Smackdown on August 1st. Trigger warnings for discussion of panic attacks and anxiety.
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all i've had today is, like, six gummy bears and some scotch by aayjay
Fandoms: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
13 Nov 2012
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Bond hasn't been taking care of himself. It's up to Q to help; maybe just a little.
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suffering as I suffer you by TheDameJudiWench for april_rainer (tom_bedlam)
Fandoms: 琅琊榜 | Nirvana in Fire (TV)
25 Dec 2020
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The first time Jingyan stays the night at Su Manor, he discovers an uncomfortable truth about Mei Changsu.
It is late, and Jingyan's mind is wandering recklessly. He attributes it to this place, to the strangeness of sleeping somewhere familiar but unfamiliar all the same. He desires Mei Changsu's touch, but despite the way they passed the evening, he isn't sure he would be welcome under the furs with him, welcome in his arms.
One pale hand extends from the rumpled pile of furs.
Jingyan brushes his knuckles against it.
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Bookmarked by aayjay
06 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
It has always felt the way he felt blindly running his hands through silt at the bottom of the sea, seeking, seeking. It has never felt the way it felt to close his hands around the jagged edge of an oyster and know in his heart he would open it to find a pearl.
wailing about it
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so quite new by adspexi for april_rainer (tom_bedlam)
Fandoms: 琅琊榜 | Nirvana in Fire (TV)
25 Dec 2020
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“Your household is so attentive. They know the nature of your illness, and how your needs might—manifest, in any variety of circumstances. The nature of the Jiangzuo Alliance is to prepare for anything. So I thought,” Xiao Jingyan continued, “that… that I might seek guidance for this particular circumstance.”
“You are asking whether I possess a treatise on the fucking of invalids?”
Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan, and the practicalities of certain arrangements.
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Bookmarked by aayjay
23 Dec 2025
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The Qilin Talent, the most coveted man in Da Liang.”
“For my mind, not my ass. Are you quite done?”
“To possess him,” Xiao Jingyan said, eyes dancing, “is to possess—”
“What a pity for the country, to be ruled one day by a man who thinks seduction means quoting my own propaganda back at me.”
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each time you happen to me all over again by saptashati
Fandoms: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
14 Dec 2025
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Just as Effie Trinket’s hand reached for the slips, a slight gust of wind stirred the air, and a spirit tinkled a wind chime—its ringing whispering a different fate into the breeze.
In District 12, the Games never came for Katniss Everdeen.
As the Capitol tightens its grip and rebellion begins to stir, Katniss is left to reckon with who she is, what she believes in—and whether love is something she can afford in a world where survival is never promised.(AU — Never Reaped. This would have happened anyway.)
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Kirk is working at Starfleet's Department for Interplanetary Affairs, when he'd rather be in the stars. But he takes comfort from texting with his online chess buddy.
Spock was born to be a prince, but his speech impediment makes it impossible to fit into his father's plans for him. Only in writing does he show his true self.
But when they meet in person, not knowing each other's online identities...they could hardly get along worse.