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    “How long do you think you can last?” Ilya says, scrolling through the minutes on the stopwatch. “Two? Five?” 

    “Five minutes,” Shane says. 

    Ilya chuckles. “Wow, I thought maybe you might at least go for ten. So modest.” 

    “Fuck off. I get to cum in your mouth either way, so what does it matter? Whether I last long enough or not.” 

    “Oh, Shane,” Ilya purrs. “We both know you hate losing.”

    Ilya decides to test Shane's endurance.

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    22 Jul 2026

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    Ilya is tired of being called stupid. Tired of reporters blinking at him like he’s buffering. Tired of social media deciding that an accent equals ignorance. So he decides to fix it.

    Shane lets it be a joke — until he hears Ilya sanding down the edges of himself under bright arena lights. He doesn’t interrupt interviews. Until he does.

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    06 Jul 2026

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    “They both want to fuck you. That entire family is trying to fuck you. I think we should call the police. Put restraining order for your hole.”

    “Ilya, are you drunk?”

    “Hollander, this is a serious problem!”

    “Just because he is gay, it doesn’t mean he wants to fuck me.” Shane scoffs. “Maybe he’s a bottom too.”

    “So, that’s your problem? Not that he wants your hole?”

    “Ilya, I swear, if you don’t stop saying that word—”

    “It’s wrong, you know,” Ilya informs seriously. “You fucked Rose Landry. Now Peter Landry is trying to fuck you. All the holes are connecting. This is basically incest.”

    “Didn’t you sleep with those Swedish twins in Cabo?”

    “They were not identical. It does not count!”

    OR: Ilya's life gets plagued by a different Landry this time, AKA an interpretation of the 'let's sleep with other people' fight mentioned in TLG, AKA, an ode to Jealous Ilya.

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    06 Jul 2026

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    we don’t collectively talk enough about how good shane is at riding ilya

    -🏒-

    Ilya groans, head tipping back against the pillow. He can’t stop staring at the way Shane’s quads flex and release with every rise and fall.

    Shane starts slow, long, deliberate strokes, lifting high enough that Ilya almost slips free before sinking back down to the root. Each drop sends a jolt through Ilya’s spine. Shane’s hands stay braced on Ilya’s chest at first, fingers splayed, using the leverage to help control the rhythm.

    “You good, Rozanov?” Shane murmurs, voice rough.

    His lidded eyes are staring down at Ilya’s sex drunk face. He clenches on the next upstroke, deliberate, and Ilya’s hips snap up helplessly.

    “Ni khréna sebe…” Ilya curses in Russian under his breath.

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    04 Jul 2026

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    Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderofficial 
    I’ve seen many publications over the years speculating on my own, and my husband’s, hockey stats and accolades in relation to our romantic relationship and when the public assumes it started. 

    We don’t owe this to anyone. But we’ve also been playing professional hockey for seventeen years and we’ve both run out of ahem, cares to give.

    On the right is a photograph from the behind the scenes of our joint CCM advertisement in July of 2010. This photo predates the hundreds of combined accomplishments listed on the left. 

    Oh, and it was also taken about six hours before our first kiss. 

    -----

    or; a year from retirement and out of fucks to give, shane reveals their timeline to twitter in response to the latest speculatory article on their relationship. hollanovs across the world rejoice, centaurs celebrate their beloved dads, and former teammates share the not-so-subtle clues they missed the first time.

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    29 Jun 2026

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