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I’m too sexy to listen to my friends by black_glass
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
26 Jan 2026
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Summary
“So. What are we thinking? Elias Bouchard - gay, or not gay?” Tim said, and leaned in over Sasha’s desk.
“I don't know, Tim. Could go either way,” she answered.
“I guess there's only one way to find out,” Tim said. This conversation was unfolding just like he wanted, time to put the final step in his plans in motion. Sasha gave him a tired look.
“... I'm not going to like where this is going, am I?”
“If you hate fun!” Tim said, with a dazzling grin on his face.
Sasha let out an exasperated sigh. “Oh, god. Tell me your idea of fun then.”
“Well. We have an office party on Thursday. So, you and me, we both flirt with him, and… find out? Who he choses?”
~~~
Tim is bored and horny, and proposes a bet to Sasha. Just a bit of fun, to figure out whether Elias Bouchard is gay or not. How could that possibly misfire?
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MARTIN
Oh. Hello little guy! What are you doing there? I’m sure I didn’t put you in my pocket. Or… turn you on… (sigh)
MARTIN
Well. I suppose it’s nice to see you. Like an old friend, sort of. Nice to have some company on my walk.
[GRAVEL CRUNCHING, MARTIN WALKING IN SILENCE FOR A BIT.]
MARTIN
We’re in Scotland. Me and Jon. We’ve been here… oh, a bit more than a week. Hiding out. But honestly, it feels more like a vacation. Not an extravagant one but… It’s been… really nice.
~~~
A collection of previously missing tapes, recorded between the Panopticon events and the Eyepocalyose. Jon and Martin are helping each other to not succumb to the influence of the Eye and the Lonely, while trying to navigate their relationship, and who they are to each other after everything that's happened.
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Summary
[TAPE CLICKS ON.]
[SLIGHT MOVEMENT, AND AN INCOHERENT MUMBLING. THEN, MARTIN GASPING AS IF HE'S WAKING UP FROM A NIGHTMARE.]
MARTIN
I- wh-what… (confused and disoriented, then followed by a cold realisation) Oh. Oh god…
[SOUND OF FRANTIC MOVEMENT.]
MARTIN
Jon! Oh god, Jon! (desperately) No no no no no. Please no. Please…
[MARTIN SNIFFLING AND SOBBING.]
~~~
After saving the world from the eye-pocalypse, Martin Blackwood wakes up somewhere else.
It starts out sad, but it gets better, ok?
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Dating an avatar of The Lonely is not easy. Especially not if you, despsite your better judgement, happen to fall in love with him.
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Summary
Well, now’s as good a time as any, Peter thought, and turned on his side to watch Elias, who was currently lying on his back and catching his breath. At least he’s in a good mood, that should help.
“Elias?”
Elias rolled to the side to face him. His hair was all messy, a small smile on his lips. Pretty. So, so pretty.
“Hm?”
Peter cleared his throat. “Well. I was thinking… you and me, we've been doing this for a while now.”
Elias laughed. “Fucking each others brains out? Yes, we have.”
“Mm, yes. That. And… um... I'd rather like to keep doing it.”
“Oh, me too. You do that thing with your tongue that is rather delightful.”
“Yes. What I mean is. Well. Um. You and me. Rather smart match, I'd say?”
~~~
Peter has an important question for Elias. He's not very good at this sort of thing, but he tries his best.
Recent series
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London is a riddle, Paris is an explanation by black_glass
Fandom The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
07 Jun 2025
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