celandiness
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prongs: SHUT UP AND LET HIM ADD LILY
padfoot: NO ONE IS STOPPING HIM IDIOT????
prongs: KILL YOURSELF??????
moony added lily to the chat
padfoot: anyways james man thanks so much for lending me ur lambo and also £300 on top of the £500 charity donation you insisted i match ur a great friend
wormy: yeah man and thanks for letting me borrow all your feminist literature! i would return it but given you’re 6’4 the shelves in your house might be too tall for me to reach :( just make sure you pick them up next time we’re doing our bonding and mental health check in!
padfoot: you’re also really good at sex james
moony: Jesus Christ
***
or, worlds worst chatfic
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Sirius gasps and sits up on Remus’ bed, grinning like he’s just won the lottery.
“Boys, the solution is simple. You will all accompany me to family Christmas this year, we will all pretend to be dating, and when we have annoyed enough members of the House of Black that my parents beg us to stop, that’s when I ask for the broom.”
“Good Lord, he’s stupid,” Remus says, genuine awe in his voice.
***
or, fake dating your three best friends to get something from your parents... which surely won't lead to anything
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Four days ago, scientists had identified a heat ray or meteor or fucking alien spaceship heading straight for Earth. Wilbur didn’t know the specifics. It was something from space, and it was 110% guaranteed to annihilate their planet.
Three days ago, Wilbur had packed everything meaningful into a small suitcase, grabbed his guitar, and hopped on a train back to the town he’d grown up in, arriving a few hours later and spending the last two days avoiding his childhood house.
Finally, after putting it off for far too long, he was standing in front of the door.
***
or, can a family survive the end of the world
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He can’t see further than the bow of the lifeboat; the whole world seems to be an endless grey void. The waves are bouncing the boats around and Tommy fears that if the storm gets any worse they’re gonna capsize and no one will know.
Every couple of seconds Tommy glances up and into the fog, hoping to catch a glimpse of lifeboats coming to rescue him for once. But nothing ever breaks through the mist.
As the minutes tick on, Tommy realises that he really doesn’t know what he’s doing or how this will end at all.
***
or, SBI are lifeboat volunteers
Recent bookmarks
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you are the one mouth i would be a tongue to. by hcneymooners (romqntics)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
18 Jan 2026
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Summary
Ilya's hand continues its path up and down Shane's back, and Shane thinks again about how love is sometimes just this: a palm on the spine, moving in circles, waiting for you to come back to yourself. There is no promise of saving you—Ilya cannot save him, they both know this and are alright with it in their own ways—but there is a vow of staying, lingering in order to witness. Touching the bruise so that its pain triggers the memory that you are allowed to be touched.
Outside, the snow continues its work of erasure. Inside, Shane's breathing begins to even out, every limb recalling how to be a man at rest rather than an animal fawning and freezing. The trembling subsides, wave by wave, as if Ilya's hand is smoothing it out of him.
"Sleep, зайчик," Ilya says softly, his free hand coming to rest in Shane's hair. "I have you."
This is not true, Shane thinks, and it is also the only true thing.
⋆
recovery, shane learns, is not a straight line. to begin to understand something, you must first name it.
Bookmarked by celandiness
22 Jan 2026
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He made the rules now. The will, and the secrets it had eventually led to, had seen to that.
And some of the rules would be changing, now that he was officially the Baron. For one thing, he was no longer interested in going one single step further in this madness without consulting the group of people he’d been referring to inside his head as “the adults.” His employees now, he supposed. In any case, it was time to meet them in person. Time to demand detailed answers from them. Politely, of course. He didn't want them to quit. But very firmly.
Or, a look at what might have happened when Simon finally calls back the Mt. Holly staff
Series
- Part 1 of Next Drafts
Bookmarked by celandiness
14 Dec 2025
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- Words:
- 121,598
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 31
Bookmarked by celandiness
21 Nov 2025
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When he was seventeen, Remus Lupin watched a boy dance at the Prix de Lausanne, and fell rather tragically in love. Six years later, and working as rehabilitation coach at the Fidelius Ballett, Remus has long since contented himself with watching Sirius Black from side-stage.
Only, when Sirius is injured mere weeks before his principal debut, Remus finds himself abruptly yanked from his place in the wings, and thrust centre stage, right into the star-bright spotlight of Sirius’ life.
Remus doesn’t see it exactly, too enraptured as he is by Sirius’ face, but he hears it. A harsh pop! that echoes unbidden ghosts of pain in his mind, sends discordance clanging down every xylophone-rung of his spine, his entire skeleton reverberating with each chilling strike. Frozen, Remus watches as that face—that beautiful face—drops its grin, turns paper-white, and then Sirius is on the floor.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 90,495
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 186
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- 190
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- 63
- Hits:
- 3,818
Bookmarked by celandiness
20 Nov 2025
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After two years of noncommittal sex:
Remus tells Sirius that he loves him. Sirius firmly rejects him. Remus tries to move on. Sirius is not happy.
OR
Remus Lupin becomes king of the cockroaches, Fabian Prewett writes a book, Gilderoy Lockhart is a catfish, and Sirius Black realizes he's a fucking idiot.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,766
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 1,261
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- 17,908
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- 4,839
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- 321,349
Bookmarked by celandiness
13 Nov 2025