corpsecard
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Summary
"Hi I'm Anania! This is Gaydar! Today I'm here with—"
"Buck!"
"What is the gayest drink?"
Buck flushes red before a cocky smile grows on his face, "Semen?"
Anania bursts out into laughter, "Can I see you in my office for a moment?" Buck nods, and they both turn and lean in close, "You can't be funnier than me on my own show, alright?"
OR
the buddie gaydar fic absolutely no one asked forBookmarked by corpsecard
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
"Hey," Eddie says. "Can we go outside for a minute?"
Buck looks up and his face is carefully neutral, which on Buck is the equivalent of a five-alarm blaze because this man has never been neutral about a single thing in his life.
"Sure."
They leave cash on the table and step out into the parking lot. The air is heavy and thick with honeysuckle and asphalt and the far-off electric promise of rain. The cat is gone and the neon sign buzzes above them, pink and sputtering.
"I don't want to stay here tonight," Eddie says.
Buck’s eyebrows tick up. "Okay?"
Hesitating, cutting a look back at the diner, Eddie says, "Look, I know we were gonna find a motel somewhere around here but this place doesn't sit right with me. I can't explain it. I'd rather just keep driving."
He's bracing for Buck to push back, to ask what specifically feels wrong, use this as a doorway back into the booth and the hand and all of it. But Buck just looks at his face for a second and nods.
"Yeah. Okay. Let's go."
Or,
Buy one Buck kidnapping and get an Eddie kidnapping for free!Can be read as a standalone but is technically a continuation of my fic 'hands on'
Series
- Part 2 of no grave can hold my body down
Bookmarked by corpsecard
18 Mar 2026
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Summary
Oh, alright, cool.
Cool, cool, cool. Neat.
That is a photograph of Eddie Diaz's dick.
It's just there. On the screen. In his hand. In high resolution. His best friend’s dick is in his hand. Well, wait — the photo. The photo of the penis is in his hand. Eddie’s dick isn’t in his hand. That would be absurd.
It’s just a penis. Buck has one of those.
So does Eddie, apparently and it’s… Buck has seen it, absorbed it, and every thought he's ever had has been replaced by a high-pitched tone and the image in front of him, which is — and this is the last coherent observation he'll produce for the foreseeable future —
Big.
Genuinely, impressively big.
Buck closes out of the photo and locks the phone so hard he's surprised it doesn't crack in half.
"Maddie say anything?" Eddie asks.
"Yep," Buck squeaks. Like a mouse. A giant, shocked mouse that has just seen its best friend’s erect dick.
"You okay?"
"Great. Y-yep. So great. I-I'm just really— the sunset was really— it's very— yep."
"It’s yep?"
"Uh-huh. Very yep."
Or,
Stumbling upon your straight best friends' nudes is fine. Buck is fine. Everything is fine.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,781
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 161
- Kudos:
- 2,538
- Bookmarks:
- 439
- Hits:
- 16,584
Bookmarked by corpsecard
18 Mar 2026
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Buck’s brain has never been all that cooperative—first thing it thinks when Eddie talks is how impressive it is that Eddie had the presence of mind to flip the safety before sprinting across the room to Buck, and only after does it remind Buck, idiot, he just shot someone for you, how technically impressive it was isn’t the point, and the point is-
Eddie’s standing wrong.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,829
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 134
- Bookmarks:
- 21
- Hits:
- 1,270
Bookmarked by corpsecard
13 Mar 2026
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Summary
Christopher huffs, then furrows his brows as if he’s seriously upset that Eddie won’t let him keep a random child he found on the side of the road. He then speaks slowly like he isn’t sure Eddie can understand the gravity of the situation. “You’re not supposed to oppose the cat distribution system.”
Eddie sputters as he wraps some ice cubes in a towel. “What now?”
His son looks at him like he’s the unbelievable one. “You know, if you find a kitten on your porch during a storm, or like, under your car, the cat chose you, you can’t reject it– God, you are so old sometimes. I bet Buck knows what that is.”
“She’s not an actual cat,” Eddie whisper-shouts. “Please tell me you are aware that she’s not an actual cat."
or;
Chris finds a child on the side of the road, who may or may not have been a cat in another life, and decides to bring her home. This is their first year together.
Bookmarked by corpsecard
12 Mar 2026