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Cut Out My Heart and Tell Me You Love Me by perpetualwhim
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
05 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Yeah, I’m a fucking idiot,” Vox growled. “Sometimes I care about people, okay? That’s normal. That what you do when you’re a person and not just a psychopathic caricature. But I suggest you leave me the fuck alone about it and think about declaring a temporary truce, because we’re both stuck in this room, and your inhibitions are going to be just as lowered as mine.”
“Oh, I’m well aware,” Alastor drawled, and let his legs fall open, revealing that he was every bit as hard as Vox was right now. He dragged his fingers delicately up the thick ridge straining against his pants as Vox’s pulse roared in his ears. “What sort of truce do you have in mind?”
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Or: a deer demon and a guy with a TV for a head get dosed with sex pollen, and then things start getting a little weird.
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Or: two psychopaths fail their way into a mutually satisfying relationship, while the author fails to write a one-shot
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Summary
Vox shivered as Alastor touched his calf, walking the tips of his claws up Vox’s leg in a prickling, torturous line. “Why is it that the man who’s always taken everything won’t even try to take this?”
“Don’t,” Vox whispered, panic clawing at his chest as the red claw-tips reached his mid-thigh, even as a wave of desire surged up, desperately urging Alastor to continue.
Alastor cocked his head, regarding him with bright red eyes. “Don’t?”
Vox’s breath was coming faster, his vision swimming. “I—fuck, I—can we talk about this tomorrow? When we’re not drunk?” This wasn’t a conversation he ever wanted to have, but maybe if he delayed and distracted, Alastor was drunk enough to forget all about it in the morning. And if not, maybe with eight hours of sleep and some food, he could actually figure out how to address this without just blurting it out in the stupidest possible way.
“Hmm,” Alastor hummed, rolling his head side to side, then curving his mouth in a wicked smile. “No. We’re talking about it now.”
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OR: Drunk Alastor wants to know why Vox won't make a move. It's because he's built like a Ken doll, but that's not a problem for Alastor.
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Summary
Vox glared at Alastor. “You’re still not planning to tell me a single fucking thing about what to expect in here?”
Alastor leaned back and gave him a long, appraising look, his eyes sweeping down the length of Vox’s body. Vox’s screen felt warm, and he glanced down at his knees as Alastor leaned forward, opened the mini-fridge, and removed a bottle. “Champagne?”
“You’re a fucking asshole,” Vox growled. But he took the bottle.
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OR: Alastor cons Vox into being his plus-one at a free use sex party where the stakes are terrifyingly high.
Written for Vox Humiliation Week 2026, day 3. Prompt: free use
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Summary
Alastor didn’t meet his eyes; his gaze stayed fixed on the gun in his hand as he opened the cylinder and tipped the remaining bullets into his hand. He looked at them for a moment, rattling them around with muted clinks before finally taking one between his fingers and slipping it into a chamber. “Have you ever played Russian roulette?”
Eyes wide, Vox couldn’t suppress his derisive snort. “Fuck no. Why would I?” He watched Alastor snap the cylinder back into place and give it a spin, the chrome flashing like a disco ball. Vox swallowed. “Have you?”
The smirk Alastor shot him was dark and dangerous, and he felt his heart clench. “Once. It was quite a rush.” With his thumb, he pulled the hammer back; there was a decisive click as it locked into place. “Fancy a game?”
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OR: Old men will do literally anything but go to therapy.
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Summary
Vox achieves what he had wanted for so long: with his angelic bomb, he blows up and kills most of Hell's population. But just as he thinks everything is finally over, that only emptiness will remain in his consciousness, he finds himself waking up in a tiny apartment... a very familiar one. He remembers this place—it was his room 70 years ago.
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Without understanding why, Vox is given a second chance after blowing everything up. He ends up traveling back in time to the day before he made the biggest mistake of his life: offering Alastor a partnership. Determined not to repeat that mistake, he decides to distance himself from Alastor. But fate has other plans.