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Cut Out My Heart and Tell Me You Love Me by perpetualwhim
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
05 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Yeah, I’m a fucking idiot,” Vox growled. “Sometimes I care about people, okay? That’s normal. That what you do when you’re a person and not just a psychopathic caricature. But I suggest you leave me the fuck alone about it and think about declaring a temporary truce, because we’re both stuck in this room, and your inhibitions are going to be just as lowered as mine.”
“Oh, I’m well aware,” Alastor drawled, and let his legs fall open, revealing that he was every bit as hard as Vox was right now. He dragged his fingers delicately up the thick ridge straining against his pants as Vox’s pulse roared in his ears. “What sort of truce do you have in mind?”
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Or: a deer demon and a guy with a TV for a head get dosed with sex pollen, and then things start getting a little weird.
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Or: two psychopaths fail their way into a mutually satisfying relationship, while the author fails to write a one-shot
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Summary
Vox shivered as Alastor touched his calf, walking the tips of his claws up Vox’s leg in a prickling, torturous line. “Why is it that the man who’s always taken everything won’t even try to take this?”
“Don’t,” Vox whispered, panic clawing at his chest as the red claw-tips reached his mid-thigh, even as a wave of desire surged up, desperately urging Alastor to continue.
Alastor cocked his head, regarding him with bright red eyes. “Don’t?”
Vox’s breath was coming faster, his vision swimming. “I—fuck, I—can we talk about this tomorrow? When we’re not drunk?” This wasn’t a conversation he ever wanted to have, but maybe if he delayed and distracted, Alastor was drunk enough to forget all about it in the morning. And if not, maybe with eight hours of sleep and some food, he could actually figure out how to address this without just blurting it out in the stupidest possible way.
“Hmm,” Alastor hummed, rolling his head side to side, then curving his mouth in a wicked smile. “No. We’re talking about it now.”
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OR: Drunk Alastor wants to know why Vox won't make a move. It's because he's built like a Ken doll, but that's not a problem for Alastor.
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Summary
Vox glared at Alastor. “You’re still not planning to tell me a single fucking thing about what to expect in here?”
Alastor leaned back and gave him a long, appraising look, his eyes sweeping down the length of Vox’s body. Vox’s screen felt warm, and he glanced down at his knees as Alastor leaned forward, opened the mini-fridge, and removed a bottle. “Champagne?”
“You’re a fucking asshole,” Vox growled. But he took the bottle.
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OR: Alastor cons Vox into being his plus-one at a free use sex party where the stakes are terrifyingly high.
Written for Vox Humiliation Week 2026, day 3. Prompt: free use
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Summary
Alastor didn’t meet his eyes; his gaze stayed fixed on the gun in his hand as he opened the cylinder and tipped the remaining bullets into his hand. He looked at them for a moment, rattling them around with muted clinks before finally taking one between his fingers and slipping it into a chamber. “Have you ever played Russian roulette?”
Eyes wide, Vox couldn’t suppress his derisive snort. “Fuck no. Why would I?” He watched Alastor snap the cylinder back into place and give it a spin, the chrome flashing like a disco ball. Vox swallowed. “Have you?”
The smirk Alastor shot him was dark and dangerous, and he felt his heart clench. “Once. It was quite a rush.” With his thumb, he pulled the hammer back; there was a decisive click as it locked into place. “Fancy a game?”
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OR: Old men will do literally anything but go to therapy.
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Summary
Vox achieves what he had wanted for so long: with his angelic bomb, he blows up and kills most of Hell's population. But just as he thinks everything is finally over, that only emptiness will remain in his consciousness, he finds himself waking up in a tiny apartment... a very familiar one. He remembers this place—it was his room 70 years ago.
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Without understanding why, Vox is given a second chance after blowing everything up. He ends up traveling back in time to the day before he made the biggest mistake of his life: offering Alastor a partnership. Determined not to repeat that mistake, he decides to distance himself from Alastor. But fate has other plans.
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Summary
Vox oftentimes hypnotizes himself out of loving Alastor. What happens when, during an ill-timed self-hypnosis session, Alastor finds out and wants to rectify the mistake that Vox is so obviously making?
Or: Alastor takes advantage of and atticwifes Vox
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Summary
Murdermedia, serial killer partners Vincent and Alastor get closer after each discovers the other is ticklish. Silly goofy adorable shenanigans ensue as their relationship develops. This series is like 70% tickling
- Words:
- 75,606
- Works:
- 11
- Bookmarks:
- 26
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Summary
A series of ficlets in which a couple of old geezers maneuver through a Hell that changes far too quickly. Watch as two old queers are faced with viral videos, internet challenges, new terminology, and more.
Chapter 1 - Ketchup Challenge
Chapter 2 - Smash or Pass
Chapter 3 - Orange Peel Challenge
Chapter 4 - Gooning
Chapter 5 - We Listen, and We Don't Judge Challenge
Chapter 6 - Bae Baskets (Valentine's Day Special)
Chapter 7 - Performative Males---------------
Set in an alternate universe, wherein Vox never propositioned Alastor, so Alastor never turned him down. Alastor still fucked off for seven years, but he and Vox are on better terms when he returns to Hell.
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Summary
“And for once, instead of blushing and looking the other way, you’d step in front of me, crowding me against the door, your hands to both sides of my head as I look up at you and stop laughing.”
Suddenly, they weren’t in the V Tower anymore, but in Vox’s old apartment, Alastor’s cheekbones illuminated cyan by his screen.
“And I’d be drunk, looking up at you, forgetting how to shadow teleport out of your arms. You’d stare at my lips and swallow and I’d just whisper: Vincent?”
Vox shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut, the weight of Alastor’s gaze unbearable.
The demon continued: “And what would you say next?”
“I need you.”
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Or, Alastor sees a porn clip where the actors are portraying him and Vox and swears he could write a better movie of the two of them. -
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Summary
Alastor Hartfelt is the rising star in the media world who's managed to bring back radio. Vincent Whittman is the billionaire TV icon who created the global empire of VoxTek. The rest is history.
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Alastor is forced to open a social media account by Rosie, and Vincent almost immediately becomes fascinated by his rival. As they trade insults and send the internet into a frenzy, Vincent's borderline obsession only grows, and Alastor's own curiosity is piqued. Whilst their relationship shifts, both struggle to come to terms with what they truly want.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 125,000
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 238
- Kudos:
- 765
- Bookmarks:
- 139
- Hits:
- 21,485
Bookmarked by dase1
03 Jul 2026
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Summary
Alastor and Vox make a simple deal with one another.
If one of them can predict five things Charlie Morningstar says within a day, then they win. If Alastor wins, Vox must promise not to air any negative publicity about the hotel, nor the princess.
If Vox wins, Alastor must do anything of Vox's request for an entire week.
A lighthearted deal between old friends. What could be the harm in it?
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Smut begins chapter two, and the first chapter can be read as a stand-alone thing, I think! I yap about the two a lot and I was inspired by The Office and generic romcoms soo yeah!
Bookmarked by dase1
17 Jun 2026
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Summary
Alastor notices something deeply amiss with Vincent.
Bookmarked by dase1
17 Jun 2026
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Summary
"Radio AND video. Me and you; we could rule Hell, together, as partners"
"As partners? Are you proposing Vincent?"What if instead of laughing his ass off and rejecting Vox, Alastor made Vox propose to him? Aka Alastor having his own agenda while Vox just accepts everything having the time of his life.
Series
- Part 1 of Unexpected marriage
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 86,225
- Chapters:
- 23/?
- Comments:
- 2,943
- Kudos:
- 5,343
- Bookmarks:
- 872
- Hits:
- 112,852
Bookmarked by dase1
17 Jun 2026
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Summary
In the aftermath of his disastrous attempt at godhood, Vox develops an algorithm to analyze Alastor's every move, looking for any sign or signal that the Radio Demon is still thinking of him. When the algorithm starts to return results, Vox becomes more and more obsessed with trying to respond to the hidden messages Alastor is broadcasting.
AKA: Five times Vox thought Alastor was sending him hidden messages, and the one time he didn't.
“Fuck you, Vel. I’m being subtle, and responding to the message he sent me.”
“What fucking message?” Velvette threw her arms into the air. “He’s not sending you messages! You. Are. Making. Them. Up. It’s all in your head, you arsehole.”
“The algorithm doesn’t lie.”
“The algorithm might not, but your fucking damaged brain sure as shit does. You are seeing shit that just isn’t there.”
“Vel…”
“Show me this fucking message.”
Vox looked away from the screens as he demurred. “It’s complicated.” -
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Summary
Vox has created a perfect, idealistic life for himself with Alastor. He has a loving husband, a beautiful house in a quiet neighborhood, and a promising career as the local car dealership’s top salesman.
It’s everything he’s ever wanted. His own personal paradise, his heaven.
But none of it’s real. It’s all lies, hosted within a virtual reality simulation, and Vox refuses to come out, even at the risk of his own life.
Back in the real world, Velvette and Valentino are at their wits end trying to figure out a way to get Vox out of that damn VR machine. Eventually, Velvette realizes that Alastor is the only one who can reach Vox inside the VR terminal.
Reluctantly offering his assistance in exchange for future favors, Alastor agrees to help get Vox out.
Little does he know, he’s in for one wild ride.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,757
- Chapters:
- 13/20
- Comments:
- 916
- Kudos:
- 1,788
- Bookmarks:
- 295
- Hits:
- 36,214
Bookmarked by dase1
13 Jun 2026
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Summary
“We would love it if you brought a girl home soon, dear. Do try and find someone who makes you happy.”
Vincent’s hand hesitated on the doorknob, swallowing the small lump in his throat. Because he already knew he’d found that someone. With his condescending smile and soft curls, an incredibly bratty attitude and smart little comments for every situation. Despite every instinct telling him he should hate the other boy for everything he had done in the past, Vincent couldn’t explain the way his heart jumped every single time he thought about Alastor.
Unfortunately, he also knew that his parents would never accept him. Vincent still vividly remembered the last time his father had caught him kissing another boy. It was not something he could ever forget. His father had absolutely made sure of that.
Vincent had thought getting the boy was the hard part. Surviving senior year at Hazbin High School, might be worse.
Series
- Part 2 of The Hazbin High School Chronicles
Bookmarked by dase1
13 Jun 2026
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Summary
It should be harder, Vox thinks as Alastor’s blinks up at him, placid. To capture the mind of the Radio Demon.
It isn’t.
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Or: Vox manages to hypnotise Alastor. Neither of them expects what happens next
Bookmarked by dase1
10 Jun 2026
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Summary
Vincent is in rut.
It's obvious by how overwhelmingly strong his scent is. Burnt wires perforates the bar like a physical smog. The electric undercurrent of a brewing storm, wet and heavy, is suffocating.
Alastor's muscles tighten in preparation. Instinct wails at him to attack, to defend his territory, to tear such a threat to bite sized bloody pieces.
But this is Vincent.
And while he might be a bit of a knot head, Vincent isn't going to threaten their unique bond over petty alpha hormones. Alastor won't let him.
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Or: Vincent arrives late to their meeting in a delirious state caused unfortunately by his rut. Alastor makes an experimental deal on the best way to handle such problems. Though he can't possibly predict the ripples it will cause.
(( Prequel Fic to whichever console you play ))
Bookmarked by dase1
09 Jun 2026
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Summary
After Vox’s head gets reattached, he deletes his memories of the last fifty years, to right before the moment Alastor had rejected him. Now Vox from the 70s is fifty years in the future, roommates with people he doesn’t remember, a body that is different than it was before, and an enemy who, last time he’d checked, was his friend.
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Basically, Vox dies and is replaced by a version of himself from 50 years ago.
Series
- Part 1 of Split Screen
Bookmarked by dase1
06 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
14챕터까지 읽었어요
기억상실 빈센트와 복스의 동일성을 다뤄요
이런미친 빈센트가 너무 귀여워 -
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Summary
“As long as I wipe that grin off Alastor’s face, I don’t care what happens.”
Alastor stared death in the face. As long as you never get the satisfaction of seeing me break, I don’t care what happens, he thought.
But he felt raw and broken.
It was poetic that, in the end, the two rivals had succeeded in dragging each other to the brink of insanity.
If only Alastor could find the humor in that. If only he could feel anything at all.
Or, Alastor’s plan wasn’t meant to be pleasant. Unfortunately, he had misunderstood Vox’s intentions all those years ago and was thoroughly unprepared to deal with the direction his imprisonment took him. A week of mind games, torture, and one-sided desire was enough to bring the Radio Demon to his knees.Series
- Part 1 of Nothing is Truly Free