disaster_trash_panda
Fandoms
Recent works
-
Tags
Summary
Violet is awake and her eyes are filled with fire when I return to our room after visiting Jack-fucking-Barlowe. Fuck. I meant to quietly pack my things and leave before she woke, but it's too late now, and she's obviously guessed my intentions because every word is full of soft fury as she stalks over to me. "I'm going to ask for the same thing I've been asking for years: I need you to listen to me. I need you to trust me and trust our friends so we can figure this out. It's hard to be vulnerable, and you might lose people you care about if you trust them and they reject you. But you sure as hell will lose everyone if you insist on shutting us out of your life."
She grabs the sides of my flight jacket, pulls me into the room, and slams the door. There is nothing I can say to make this better so I anchor my shields as strongly as I ever have and wrap my arms around her, pulling her against my chest.
I can't tell her how terrified I am. It would have been better if I had died because at least then I wouldn't be capable of hurting Violet anymore. Fuck. Sgaeyl hasn't spoken to me since the battle but I know she agrees. Better to be dead than to be this. An abomination.
-
Another Source of Saltwater by disaster_trash_panda
Fandoms: Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab
07 Feb 2023
Tags
Summary
Holland and Alucard are both deeply scarred and find comfort in each other while out at sea, on a desperate mission they may never return from, while the fate of the world hangs in the balance.
This short scene features kindness, trauma dumping, and catharsis. It could conceivably fit into the gaps of canon.
Recent bookmarks
-
Big Bang by DistantStorm
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
13 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
It's the 2020-2021 season. Ottawa Centaurs forward Derek Briggs, an undrafted player from the Swedish Hockey League, is having a fantastic rookie season. He makes the team out of camp, claws his way up to the second line, lives through an almost plane crash, and has a crush on his fellow rookie that just might be reciprocated. The Centaurs might even make the playoffs.
Then, news breaks that Shane Hollander is suing the Metros and MLH for terminating his contract after he came out to them in 2017. Derek, who played with Shane in Sweden after he was forced out of Montreal, gets a lot more popular for all the wrong reasons. The media seems to think he's the secret hockey player Hollander's dating, Crowell is breathing down his neck, and all of a sudden, Centaurs captain Ilya Rozanov has it out for him.
Series
- Part 1 of Everything they Say
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,187
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 295
- Kudos:
- 1,348
- Bookmarks:
- 277
- Hits:
- 23,020
Bookmarked by disaster_trash_panda
03 Apr 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.
Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.
Series
- Part 6 of my heated rivalry anon fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,008
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3,029
- Kudos:
- 45,546
- Bookmarks:
- 14,120
- Hits:
- 723,437
Bookmarked by disaster_trash_panda
26 Mar 2026
-
Home Ice Advantage by taywrites11
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
24 Jan 2026
Tags
Summary
“You’re going to Boston.”
Long after Farah hangs up, the words keep echoing in Shane’s head. If he had thought his thoughts had been chaotic this morning, when his biggest problem had been his rival potentially fucking him when he came to Montreal in two weeks, that’s nothing compared to the code-red panic that started the instant he found out he was being traded to Rozanov’s team.
Rozanov, who was supposed to be his great career rival. Rozanov, who he’s hooked up with twice now. Rozanov, who had been planning on coming to Shane’s apartment in Montreal to fuck him the next time they saw each other. God, how on Earth is Shane going to walk into his locker room in Boston in a few days time?
The impending awkwardness of dealing with Rozanov is almost enough to eclipse the hurt he’s trying to ignore. The knowledge that Montreal values him so little that they’re willing to dispose of him only six months into his rookie season. Almost, but not quite.
-
Or, Shane gets traded to Boston AU.
Series
- Part 1 of Home Ice Advantage
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,933
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 1,603
- Kudos:
- 21,893
- Bookmarks:
- 6,318
- Hits:
- 341,928
Bookmarked by disaster_trash_panda
23 Mar 2026
-
Tags
Summary
“Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”
“Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”
Hayden stops, so Shane does too.
“You don’t know who that was?”
Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer.
“Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious.
Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”
“At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke.
“He’s a porn star, man.”
“A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?”
---
Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,214
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 953
- Kudos:
- 31,432
- Bookmarks:
- 7,126
- Hits:
- 357,654
Bookmarked by disaster_trash_panda
20 Mar 2026
-
back and forth from new york by alphalupi
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
31 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
After coming out to Rose, Shane decides he doesn't want to lie anymore, even if he isn't sure coming out will mean he gets happily ever after with Ilya. When coming out to the Voyageurs leaves him wondering what his future in Montreal might look like, he lets himself be a little selfish, he lets himself wonder if there might be somewhere else he might be happy. If Montreal wants to get rid of a generational player, he's not about to stop them, especially if it means he can get a little closer to joy.
--
Or: Shane Hollander leaves Montreal in search of something better.
Series
- Part 1 of back and forth from new york
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 240,016
- Chapters:
- 53/55
- Comments:
- 12,058
- Kudos:
- 23,991
- Bookmarks:
- 9,070
- Hits:
- 1,424,183
Bookmarked by disaster_trash_panda
19 Mar 2026