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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    What if Aziraphale and Crowley didn't meet until right before the End of the World? The Guardian of the Eastern Gate and the Serpent have kept their distance for thousands of years, only to finally discover, right before the battle, that neither of them is what the other expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,423
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    408
    Kudos:
    1,676
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    388
    Hits:
    16,259

    07 Mar 2020

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Let’s get lunch,” Crowley said, sauntering into the bookshop one October afternoon, his hair a little windswept and his cheeks a little pink from the chill, “what do you think, Le Café du Marché?”

    Whatever it was that was waiting to give inside Aziraphale’s chest snapped like a twig. He didn’t even like French food.

    “Crowley,” Aziraphale said, setting down his book with an argumentative slap. “You don’t even like French food.”

    *

    The world hadn’t ended, which was all well and good. If only this had. This, of course, being lunch.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,484
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    438
    Kudos:
    5,216
    Bookmarks:
    931
    Hits:
    33,337

    07 Mar 2020

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Crowley,” Aziraphale says, carefully. His voice has just gone up half an octave. “I think I have an idea."
    “What?"
    “It might be crazy. Certifiable, actually.”
    At this, Crowley grins. “My favorite kind.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,666
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    927
    Bookmarks:
    118
    Hits:
    7,038

    07 Mar 2020

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Or: Is That Really All It Took?

    Crowley likes to give Aziraphale things. Food, drinks, rides, whatever, it doesn't matter. It's all worth the praise and the gratitude and those glowing angelic smiles.

    He cannot imagine that Aziraphale would want to return the favor, and doesn't think he should.

    Aziraphale disagrees with that sentiment.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,397
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    209
    Kudos:
    2,300
    Bookmarks:
    477
    Hits:
    23,973

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “How dare you!” Aziraphale shouts.

    “It’s not personal!” the demon shouts back, peeking around the edge of the bookshelf. Aziraphale flings a blessing at him, but he jerks back before it can land. “I was assigned to you.”

    “I’ll smite you back to Hell, you—you—snake!”

    “Funny you should say that,” the demon mutters, before lifting his voice again. “Or how about we carry on what we’re doing and not attract the attention from Downstairs, yeah? Or Upstairs, for that matter.”
     

    Or: Aziraphale has been assigned to secure The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. He really shouldn’t have been surprised to learn that Hell had an agent of their own assigned to him.

    Luckily for him, Crowley is a dreadful spy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,840
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    218
    Kudos:
    3,327
    Bookmarks:
    906
    Hits:
    30,668

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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  6. Public Bookmark *

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    “I am stuck in your orbit,” Crowley said. “I’ve no intention and no desire to go anywhere else.”

    or: after a tryst in rome, crowley and aziraphale realize their corporations aren't exactly designed to be together. that's nothing a good five thousand years of practice sex can't fix.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,280
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    132
    Kudos:
    1,986
    Bookmarks:
    496
    Hits:
    14,205

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Crowley laughed. “I thought you’d have realized by now. I am no ordinary king.”

    “No,” Aziraphale said. “You certainly are not.”

    or: aziraphale is sent as a gift to the southern king to smooth over trade negotiations. they both find themselves in over their heads.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,754
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    468
    Kudos:
    3,273
    Bookmarks:
    874
    Hits:
    45,911

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Aziraphale works to purchase a bookshop space, but currently being a woman-shaped creature has its drawbacks when faced with rude property owners. The most obvious solution is to get Crowley to act as his husband and deal with all that nonsense, of course.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,449
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    234
    Kudos:
    4,411
    Bookmarks:
    928
    Hits:
    38,577

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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  9. Public Bookmark *

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    After stopping the apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale finally take the next step in their six-thousand-year friendship. But when a spate of miracles sweeps across Soho and Mayfair, they realize their amorous escapades may have an unintended side effect. As they scramble to restore balance and an archangel arrives to investigate, Heaven and Hell’s messengers learn that you can never have too much of a good thing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,256
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    355
    Kudos:
    2,452
    Bookmarks:
    717
    Hits:
    32,898

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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  10. Public Bookmark *

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    "Look, the whole of London's cracking up," she told him. "I'm finding it hard enough to work as it is without my commute being screwed up by the buses going on strike, and half my books turning into birds. That angel is wrecking everything, but in particular, my life - and you're too busy hating yourself to open your eyes and deal with it. I'm telling you, it has to stop."

    "Is that all still happening?" Crowley said vaguely. "But I found him."

    "Oh my God, you can tell you don't commute," Anathema said. "The buses went on strike, Mr. Crowley."

    "That's perfectly normal for London. You'll learn."

    "You're not listening! Not the drivers, the buses. They're organising - meeting in secret, holding little candlelight vigils. Nobody else really knows what's going on - everyone's just assuming it's, like, general TfL incompetence or something - but it's only a matter of time. So what are you going to do about it?"

    "Er... have they submitted a list of their demands?" Crowley said helplessly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    126,826
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,961
    Kudos:
    2,181
    Bookmarks:
    766
    Hits:
    58,357

    07 Mar 2020

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  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Tucking his sunglasses into the neck of his black t-shirt, he scans the crowded space for the man Anathema had described. Blond, she’d said. A bit old-fashioned. Crowley had taken that to mean no shagging until the third date but his eyes land on a man who looks like he just returned from tea in the Victorian era and he just knows he’s found his date. Ezra Fell.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,521
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    275
    Kudos:
    3,753
    Bookmarks:
    509
    Hits:
    28,096

    07 Mar 2020

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  12. Public Bookmark *

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    “Good heavens,” Aziraphale tuts. “Carnal temptations and a vulgar mouth. Whatever will I do with you, my dear?”

    Crowley’s mouth opens, but no words come forth. “Absolutely anything you like,” he rasps at length, blinking up at Aziraphale in a wonderstruck sort of way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,637
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    320
    Kudos:
    3,855
    Bookmarks:
    820
    Hits:
    52,486

    07 Mar 2020

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  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Aziraphale’s mouth burned. But not like hellfire burned, cruel and destructive, sizzling a hole through whatever it touched. This was that same terrible charge of ethereal electricity, conducted in the very fluid of Aziraphale’s being. Something that had seemed so outside of him, something of heaven, something that wasn’t part of the Aziraphale who had lived six thousand years here with Crowley on Earth, careful and petty and kind. And yet here heaven had been, all this time, just past his lips.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,263
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    281
    Kudos:
    2,004
    Bookmarks:
    548
    Hits:
    16,235

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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  14. Public Bookmark *

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    “I found you in Hell,” he said. “You don’t think I could find you in London?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,400
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    946
    Bookmarks:
    176
    Hits:
    6,196

    07 Mar 2020

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  15. Public Bookmark *

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    “Why does it bother you?” Crowley asked. “Even if you can’t get to them in time to wipe their memories, it’s not like anyone’d believe them. Kid goes running to her mum saying Ooh, I’ve just seen a bloke with three heads and a sixteen-foot wingspan, what do you think’s going to happen? Chances are they’ll just pat her on the shoulder and tell her what a vivid imagination she’s got.”

    “That’s not what worries me,” said Aziraphale.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,769
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    214
    Kudos:
    9,206
    Bookmarks:
    1,391
    Hits:
    74,162

    07 Mar 2020

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Crowley folded his long legs and slouched his body into a chair so uncomfortable that not even magic could fix it. Aziraphale was on the stage sitting straight-backed and prim, his hands neatly folded on top of the sheets of music on his lap. On one side of him sat a reedy girl in a pastel dress; on the other, a grubby-looking boy wearing a crooked blue tie and dirty white trainers along with his suit. Neither could be older than fifteen. Aziraphale’s smile was wide enough that some of the mothers in the crowd eyed him suspiciously.

    Objectively, rationally absurd, every single thing about this situation.

    Aziraphale picks up some new hobbies. Crowley has no chill.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,311
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    996
    Bookmarks:
    148
    Hits:
    5,647

    07 Mar 2020

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  17. Public Bookmark *

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    But Aziraphale was also a bit of a bastard, so it turned out that when he was hellbent on giving Crowley everything he ever wanted, it was by any manipulative, duplicitous means necessary.  

    Aziraphale's affection takes Crowley apart.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,075
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    115
    Kudos:
    2,829
    Bookmarks:
    457
    Hits:
    24,351

    07 Mar 2020

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  18. Public Bookmark *

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    “But I’d never see my books again, Crowley. And the shop. I haven’t even had a chance...And after you went through all the trouble of getting me this space.” He meant to put the glass down on the table. He missed on his first and second attempts, but got it on his third. “And I’d never see…” He looked up at Crowley. “Well, that is, I’d never see - “

    “All right, angel.” Crowley cleared his throat. “You’re drunk.”

    “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be there right now, chatting up bloody Uriel,” Aziraphale continued.

    Aziraphale makes the choice that his subconscious was making all along.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,695
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    111
    Kudos:
    2,042
    Bookmarks:
    451
    Hits:
    15,077

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Alternate title - "Throwing things off a balcony doesn't make them vanish."

    The story runs parallel to season 1 (sort of between-the-scenes) following Patrick the bartender and exploring what it might be like to work at Lux.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,101
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    264
    Kudos:
    1,845
    Bookmarks:
    531
    Hits:
    12,199

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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  20. Public Bookmark *

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    When a murder victim bearing a striking resemblance to a certain asshole civilian consultant shows up, Dan swears he can put his anger for Charlotte aside and be objective. His resolve and just about everything else is tested when he and Lucifer are kidnapped by a cult that has the Devil in its sights.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,963
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    233
    Kudos:
    1,561
    Bookmarks:
    327
    Hits:
    17,062

    07 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

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