esoteric_squid
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Summary
Rowan is a 30-something fashionista assassin, Luce is a 20-something disaster of a mage, Conan is recently a graduated cyber prodigy who LARPs for fun - Come along as they do jobs for their shady Organization and grow closer together as friends...AND LOVERS? (lol Luce wishes)
Also there's a poltergeist (probably ETA: MAYBE NOT?!) and an impending apocalypse. No biggie.
*Not on hiatus, just very slow to update! They are not forgotten!!*
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Former Death Eaters are being targeted with a Veritaserum curse – it’s permanent, and makes victims speak aloud their every thought. Luckily, it’s easier to control when writing – and Hermione is trying to introduce Muggle technology to the wizarding world.
An advent fic featuring texting, identity struggles, and a Draco Malfoy who will literally not stop talking.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,603
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 2,452
- Kudos:
- 5,376
- Bookmarks:
- 898
- Hits:
- 55,520
Bookmarked by esoteric_squid
06 Oct 2025
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I need a drink of cool, cool rain by Moreta1848
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
30 Jul 2024
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Summary
Some people assume Vulcans, being desert creatures, wouldn't like to get wet.
What they don't understand is that Vulcans, being desert creatures, appreciate water more than anyone else.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,298
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 433
- Kudos:
- 818
- Bookmarks:
- 224
- Hits:
- 6,666
Bookmarked by esoteric_squid
19 Sep 2025
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Summary
When you can't change time, but you can't go forward, what is left? Hermione learns how to be the protagonist of her own story.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 222,827
- Chapters:
- 58/58
- Collections:
- 47
- Comments:
- 2,104
- Kudos:
- 7,738
- Bookmarks:
- 3,166
- Hits:
- 391,104
Bookmarked by esoteric_squid
12 Aug 2025
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Summary
“Masturbate, Nick! If you masturbate, the knife resets. We can just leave it here if you want.”
Nick hums, “Well, you know… this knife could come in handy. And if the only downside is that I can’t get myself off... I can do without for a while!” Nick grins down at his soon-to-be-overpowered knife.
The rest of the group chuckle as they make their way towards the portal again. “If you say so!”
Slowly, his grin begins to fade as the reality of the situation sinks in: he’s just committed to not jerking off at ALL anytime in the foreseeable future. He drops his head into his hands, groaning out an “Oh fuck me!”
Or: these weren’t the benefits Nick was expecting when he started working at D.A.D.D.I.E.S.
Series
- Part 1 of Kellogg's K'nightmare
Bookmarked by esoteric_squid
31 Jul 2025
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Do it Again by thisgirlsays22 for KioneM
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
20 Feb 2020
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Summary
By the twentieth time Geralt has gone through the loop, he decides to just throw himself off the cliff’s edge after Borch.
He wakes up to his twenty-first attempt.
“Fuck.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,771
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 891
- Kudos:
- 21,834
- Bookmarks:
- 3,896
- Hits:
- 152,029
Bookmarked by esoteric_squid
21 Jul 2025