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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander doesn't know what he is. He knows what he wants. For a long time, he tells himself those are different things.

    Ilya Rozanov knows what he is. He can't control what he wants. For a long time, he tells himself those are the same thing.

    They’re just boys who handle it badly—from a junior tournament in Canada to the NHL draft to the moment a security camera at the end of a hallway changes everything

    -

    Shane and Ilya are discovered before they even play their first game

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    84,374
    Chapters:
    11/14
    Comments:
    799
    Kudos:
    1,332
    Bookmarks:
    566
    Hits:
    49,721

    10 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    As free agency opens up, Shane is reminded that when asked to make the same choice Ilya is expecting him to make now, he'd utterly refused.
    With the realization that his fiance has been completely unsupportive since they were outed and things imploded with Montreal, Shane decides to make a different choice.
    Will it break them once and for all or be what brings them back together?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,603
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    157
    Kudos:
    416
    Bookmarks:
    130
    Hits:
    3,549

    09 Aug 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 42

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    Every week that they're home in Ottawa, Shane likes to use a day to go and work on his conditioning at the practice rink's gym, Ilya likes to use the time to fuck Luca.

    A unhappy, out of character cheating fic for those who want to wallow in the angst.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,287
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    96
    Kudos:
    227
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    7,567

    07 Aug 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 48

    Words:
    10,664
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    48

    05 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane would always be yearning for something with a man who didn't want him, wouldn't he? A little positive attention and he'd folded like origami. Pathetic.

    "Stay," Rozanov said. It sounded like pleading. That trick had worked on him, once.

    “Why?" Shane's tone was more biting than he intended. "What do you think is going to happen if I stay? Are you gonna make me a goddamned tuna melt?”

    Rozanov, to his credit, took the words like the blow they were. His eyes widened, then he covered his face with his palms and muttered something in Russian.

    Shane had never seen shame written across those features before.

    In April 2017, Shane Hollander suffers the most painful not-breakup he’ll ever experience. Months later, he's outed. Two years after that, a broken knee ends his career.

    When Rozanov unexpectedly crosses Shane's path four years later, Shane resolves to be courteous yet keep his distance. But Ilya is just as beautiful and charming as he ever was, and he’s determined to give what they'd once shared a second chance. A real chance.

    It's a bad idea. Shane knows it's a bad idea.

    The terrifying thing is that it doesn't feel like one.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,987
    Chapters:
    14/25
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    889
    Kudos:
    2,081
    Bookmarks:
    982
    Hits:
    57,580

    30 Jul 2026