jamandbreadandbutter
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the heir of something or other by dirgewithoutmusic for xiaoguban
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Jul 2015
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Summary
When kids in the Slytherin Common Room tossed jeers at the pudgy feet of Millicent Bulstrode, Harry rose up to do something about it. This Harry, now one of Snape’s own, got fewer House points lost but many more detentions– it had never been the colors on his hem that Severus hated.
This was not wishing Harry an easy path. This was not wishing the boy a warm House. This was Harry, three weeks in, sleep deprived and considering running away and going back to Privet Drive. This was Harry in the back of Potions class, blank-faced under Snape’s disdain the way he’d perfected under the Dursleys’s torments.
When Quirrell shouted “troll in the dungeons, thought you ought to know,” and Harry overheard that there was a girl in the bathroom crying, he still ran off to make sure she got out okay. He hesitated first, at the back of the little pack of Slytherin first years (at the back so that no one could get behind him)– he hesitated.
And Millicent Bulstrode, who could never quite keep her tummy tucked in enough, could never brush all the cat hair off her robes, never quite keep her temper in check, hesitated, too.
Series
- Part 5 of boy with a scar
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,305
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 23
- Comments:
- 646
- Kudos:
- 16,599
- Bookmarks:
- 3,075
- Hits:
- 167,775
Bookmarked by jamandbreadandbutter
21 Sep 2025
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Summary
Harry isn’t the Boy-Who-Lived, but his parents still died, and Albus Dumbledore, concerned that Death Eaters might seek the boy’s death, cast a powerful charm on him to make wizards ignore him before Harry was left with the Dursleys. Except, with the Elder Wand in play, the charm was far too powerful, and made others essentially forget Harry existed when not directly interacting with him. Sorted into Ravenclaw at Hogwarts, Harry lives a contented life with no one either loving or hating him…until the charm breaks on his seventeenth birthday, and he’s suddenly plunged directly into the middle of a living world at war.
Series
- Part 4 of From Litha to Lammas 2020
- Part 1 of Runemaster
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,776
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 869
- Kudos:
- 22,637
- Bookmarks:
- 6,409
- Hits:
- 288,403
Bookmarked by jamandbreadandbutter
05 Dec 2024
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Summary
I Have Made A Huge Mistake, And Here's How You Can Make It Your Problem, Too
I have made a mistake. Without going too deeply into the details, as I do not want this mistake to go viral or get out among people I know, I can say here: my best friends are getting married in less than three weeks, and their guest list has mistakenly listed me as bringing a plus one.
I do not have a plus one.
This is where you come in, reader: I need to find someone, preferably in their mid-20s to early-30s, to come with me on a week-long wedding vacation and pretend to be my partner. I do not care what you do for a job. I do not care what you look like. We'll dance, we'll drink, we'll probably call an ambulance when all my friends fall down a mountain. It'll be great.
Do not fuck with me on this. Please.
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or: kei would rather die than go to hinata and kageyama's wedding alone. what’s a man to do but hire a hapless fool to be his boyfriend for a week?
Series
- Part 1 of the world will follow after
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 120,612
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 500
- Kudos:
- 2,857
- Bookmarks:
- 843
- Hits:
- 63,038
Bookmarked by jamandbreadandbutter
17 Aug 2024
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flee from your ghosts (burn your house down) by thepolysyndetonaddictsupportgroup
Fandoms: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
09 Oct 2021
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Summary
“So,” says Wendy. “How much did the little dudes tell you about their summers here?”
“Oh, I don’t know. They told me about the friends they made, some of the things they did. Why?”
“Right.” Wendy nods. “Um. I have to leave immediately.”
Or:
Wirt decides the best thing for his family at the moment is to move. And what better place than Gravity Falls? Gravity Falls has family, friends, history, and enough secrets to drown in.
He really wishes someone would tell him what the hell is going on.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,781
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 178
- Kudos:
- 2,223
- Bookmarks:
- 921
- Hits:
- 21,195
Bookmarked by jamandbreadandbutter
06 Aug 2024
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Summary
Well-behaved boy (10) is looking for big brother (11-15). Must meet up with me three times a week, for at least two hours each. Overall duties include helping me with homework, playing videogames with me, and showing me how to play catch. 10$ per hour.
Tim, lonely and in desperate need of company, decides that if his parents are not going to give him a sibling, he's going to hire one instead. Luckily, Jason Todd-Wayne shows up in the nick of time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,062
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 91
- Comments:
- 1,068
- Kudos:
- 25,737
- Bookmarks:
- 5,767
- Hits:
- 141,706
Bookmarked by jamandbreadandbutter
31 Mar 2024