jasperaptor

pumpkin head persona, but the carved pumpkin is a green, sideways cushaw pumpkin. the mouth is a classic carved zig-zag smile, the eyes seem a lil tired



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    Summary

    “Congratulations, you just finished puberty.”
    Clark blinked. Then he blinked again. “What?”
    ***
    Being forced to reexamine every aspect of his life because the unholy brainchild of Lex Luthor and Poison Ivy unlocked an entirely new section of his biology was not on Clark’s bucket list. Which was good, because Clark wasn’t going to do that. It wasn’t that big of a deal, really! He was fine, everything was fine, and things would go back to normal sooner or later. Honestly, things would already be pretty normal if it wasn’t for Clark’s newfound desire to maul his best friend.

    Bruce, meanwhile, has a bite on his neck, an unrequited crush, and hundreds of pages of Kryptonian documents that needed translating. Oh, and eight kids who are maybe a little too good at meddling.
    Everyone else is just along for the ride.

    Featuring: Copious blankets, platonic intimacy, the Justice League being surprisingly functional, sex pollen (now with 200% less sex!), Kansas typical repression, pillow forts, rebar, romantic intimacy, Batfam typical shenanigans, untranslatable words (coming to a dead alien language near you!), and the fictional concept of Omegaverse, which is also here for some reason.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,890
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    256
    Kudos:
    1,298
    Bookmarks:
    271
    Hits:
    16,070

    14 Jul 2025

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    read this. If you have ever loved any fic at all in your life, there will be something in here you will enjoy. Dare I say. There will be quite a lot you enjoy. I will definitely be back.