julemmaes
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Maybe he hadn't been grieving in the healthiest of ways, Buck was smart enough to gather as much. That didn't mean he was ready to acknowledge any of it.
That was why his own words had taken a right hook to his chin, completely uprooting him from his spot.
"I think you're so afraid of losing one more thing that you've decided you'd rather just walk away, but I promise you giving it up is not gonna hurt any less than having them take it away."
Buck hadn't realised how true those words had been until he'd spoken them.
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Eddie has to laugh at this point, because this isn't just about Tommy completely disregarding the general audience commentary on how harmful Gardner's books are. This is about him not caring about Buck's interests even a tiny bit.
Eddie would be lying if he said he's a hundred percent into everything Buck tells him, but he has never—not once—not listened to what he has to say.
Setting down his beer and turning towards Tommy, Eddie glares, his mouth twitching. "Doesn't take away the fact that he's still very much openly hating on women for most of them."
A beat of silence, "I take it you've read him, then."
There is a taunting tone in his voice that Eddie can't quite ignore. He forces himself to smile, breathes in through the nose, "Wasn't interested in reading him after Buck explained in painful detail why I shouldn't."
or 5 times Eddie corrects Tommy on something Buck related and the 1 time Tommy is actually right
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"Evan Buckley," he murmurs, his fingers aching with how forcibly he's wringing his hands.
The nurse looks at him and tilts her head, as she presses her lips into a tight line, "I know, you've already told me." Her voice is soothing, somehow, but she's not helping, she's not– "One of the officers will be with you in a moment, you just need to wait for them to–"
"What happened?" Eddie interrupts her, avoiding her sympathetic gaze, focusing on the stripes of the Sergeant uniform a few feet from them.
The nurse—she can't be older than Eddie—looks conflicted.
"I'm sorry I don't have that kind of information, I just," she trails off, placing a hand on his arm. Eddie wants to step away from it. "I think it'd be better if you sat somewhere."
He needs someone to take him to Buck.Or, Eddie gets a call from the hospital to go identify the body of who the police thinks is Buck
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I wonder by my troth, what thou and I did, till we loved? by julemmaes
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
04 Jun 2025
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He opens his eyes and Eddie is there, opening his, smiling on an exhale. He's reaching for his husband, their breathing synced.
"Hey, mi amor," Eddie says, shimming closer to him, placing a hand on his naked chest, skimming over his tattoos. "Good morning."
Buck is confusedly thinking of stars. Why was he dreaming of stars?
He must be wearing his perplexity on his face because Eddie frowns amusedly.
"What are you thinking about?"
He stares into Eddie's eyes and sees them. Twinkling. Shining. Burning. He understands.or, Christopher reads an analysis of "The Good Morrow" by John Donne and Buck feels it all.
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So, this is what Buck really can’t wrap his head around. Being free to love Eddie openly and being loved by Eddie.
And the thing is, it isn’t weird. Or awkward, or anything someone might think their years of friendship would make this new relationship like. It is easy, natural. Buck used the word instinctive to describe it to Maddie when she asked him how they were faring.
Because loving Eddie is like breathing. Buck doesn't need to think about it. He isn’t questioning his every action—like he’d always done in his past relationships—for fear of being judged, or being left behind. Eddie makes it easy for him. And he really hopes he makes it easy for Eddie.or
Buck has a panic attack after lifting Eddie up and having flashbacks to the worst day of his life
Recent bookmarks
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One for the Road by PastyPirate
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
18 Jan 2026
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“You can’t go two weeks without fucking me anyways,” Shane heard himself saying, and instantly felt like he’d chosen the wrong dialogue option. He should’ve said something like I’d like to see all the ways you can figure it out or maybe not sharing a room has never stopped us before.
Ilya let out a laugh, “Please, you beg for me all the time.”
“I’m not the one who can’t go more than a day without jerking off —” shut up Hollander, SHUT UP “I can totally go two weeks without fucking.”
The Centaurs do a rotational room program for their first road trip of the season. Which would be fine if Ilya and Shane could be professionals.
Shane starts a fight and gets a Dick Trick, Ilya is a mastermind, Bood becomes an Queer Icon, Troy has no idea what's going on, Hayes is having the time of his life, and no one wants to talk about the showers thing anymore.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,447
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- 5/5
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- 417
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Bookmarked by julemmaes
21 Jan 2026
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Somewhere by thewayshedreamed
Fandoms: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, MAAS Sarah J. - Works
19 Jan 2026
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Nesta and Cassian dated years ago. Their relationship was passionate in the best and worst of ways, causing them to split just short of a few months together. Ever since, they’ve fallen into a pattern of communicating physically; a true definition of hot-and-cold if there ever was such a thing. They have made attempts to move on, to be with other people, but something has always pulled them right back to each other.
Their insistence on each other created quite the toxic dynamic for themselves and the important people in their lives, dismantling relationships and creating secrets that never needed to be. They’re a complete mess, both together and as individuals, but the thought of being without the other seemed impossible.
This au follows their sordid affair and their individual healing. Hopefully, it’s not all a day late and a dollar short.This is a Nessian toxic relationship au inspired by the song "Is There Somewhere" by Halsey. (Lyrics in the Notes at the end in case you haven't heard it)
Warnings for strong language, toxic relationship dynamics, mentions of infidelity, drug use, alcohol use, and sexual content. NSFW.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 128,967
- Chapters:
- 24/32
- Comments:
- 154
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- 308
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- 56
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Bookmarked by julemmaes
20 Jan 2026
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other forms of intimacy by ultravioletdaydream
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
03 Jan 2026
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Shane and Ilya have a lot of sex. A lot of hot, intimate, dirty sex. But sometimes they don't. Sometimes, for one reason or another, they find more intimacy in the unexpected moments where their plans to fuck don't work out.
Or:
Shane and Ilya taking care of each other.
• • •
I: Shane Hollander has too much to drink.
II: Ilya Rozanov gets the fucking flu.
III: Shane Hollander suffers an Autistic shutdown.
IV: Ilya Rozanov misses his mother.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,123
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 275
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- 3,906
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- 943
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- 40,038
Bookmarked by julemmaes
19 Jan 2026
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Eddie huffs and throws his hands out. “I don’t know what you want from me, Buck. Do you want me to say I hate it? ’Cause I don’t!”
“I want you to tell me the truth.”
“I am telling you the truth! I’m sorry it’s not apparently whatever it is you want to hear, but I can’t actually read your mind, and I don’t know what it is you want me to say. I like the house. I liked the party. I don’t like being treated like a damn stranger.”
Eddie sees the moment Buck’s restraint finally snaps. “Then stop making yourself one!”
Or
Buck hosts a housewarming party, everyone keeps asking Eddie what he thinks of the new place, and he can't figure out why it feels like lying when he says he likes it.
Bookmarked by julemmaes
05 Jan 2026
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the limitations of maddocks questions by viviolet
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
26 Dec 2025
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when shane gets the injury that would come to end his career, in the moment he’s just thankful he didn’t break his jaw.
or: shane knew, in the abstract, that one day he would play his last professional nhl game. it never occurred to him that hockey would choose that day for him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,427
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 641
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- 3,580
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- 1,133
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- 42,299
Bookmarked by julemmaes
01 Jan 2026