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Father was Percy's preferred parenting title. As time went on, she had begun to feel it suited him, a realization that she wasn’t sure she liked.
She thought, with a sort of vague, sleep-addled confidence, that Charlie was almost certainly the kind of man who would want to be called daddy.
- Language:
- English
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- 59,799
- Chapters:
- 12/?
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- 2
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24 Oct 2026
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Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger are both vying for the same competitive Ministry Internship.
It'll go to the candidate with the best grades. The widest range of extra-curriculars. The most impressive essay.
They're both very stressed about it.
But when independent attempts at "stress relief" somehow link their sex toys together---Let The C.U.M. Wars begin.
———————————————————————
Draco’s body went cold as he watched it, slow-motion as it pattered staccato against her lips.
Tap-tap. Tap-tap. Tap-tap.
Like a fucking heartbeat. Which he knew. Because his own had stopped dead.
He knew that pattern. That rhythm. Knew how it felt to tap against soft, plush lips.
Oh, Draco thought, as his mouth fell open in response.
…
Oh, fuck.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,907
- Chapters:
- 3/7
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- 1
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- 216
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Bookmarked by kiwikrazed
18 Oct 2026
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No Hard Feelings by ETL_Echo_Audiobooks, LucyHyde, malfoyesque, saintmlfy
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Dec 2025
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Hermione’s ex is getting married. Everyone thinks she’s not over him. There’s only one way to make it clear that she is: take a date to his wedding.
The problem? The only person available is the last person she wants to fake it with.—----------------------------------------------------
She stared at him. “Why would you do that?”
Malfoy shrugged. “I’m single. I’m available in December—”
“—That’s an interesting way of saying ‘my family’s all in Azkaban and everyone else hates me’—”
“—Or maybe,” he interjected again. “I just really want a front row seat to this blowing up in your face.”- Language:
- English
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- 10,021
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- 1/1
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- 4
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- 449
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Bookmarked by kiwikrazed
18 Oct 2026
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First, he stretches. Then, he exercises. He eats breakfast, and watches the street he lives on come to life -- the old man and his corgi, the baristas at the coffee shop, the woman who jogs, the daughter and father, and the Indian grocer all making their appearance. Then, he showers, shaves, dresses, and heads to his job as an Auror, where he has been on desk duty ever since he was pulled from the field because of The Incident.
Draco lives his life by his Ministry mandated Mind Healer routines, and he is trying to get back to being Potter's left-hand man, but the cannonball to his careful regimen comes in the form of a very cranky Hermione Granger.
Banter, fluff, eventual smut, an ensemble cast of friends and family and weddings and babies. Told in mostly Draco's POV, but the occasional random one, because who says Draco is the most reliable of narrators?
It’s a character-driven slow burn.
Series
- Part 1 of The Hum Hallelujah Universe
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- English
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- 188,227
- Chapters:
- 72/72
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- 4
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- 1,158
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Bookmarked by kiwikrazed
04 Dec 2025
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On the 31st of October, an eleven-year-old girl will bring about the end of the world. According to prophecy, anyway, and everyone knows those are infallible.
Fortunately, the world has unlikely heroes in the form of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, who've selflessly agreed to put aside their mutual hatred and long-standing prank war in order to find the girl and stop the apocalypse. If only they could be certain they have the right child…
For fans of Terry Pratchett and dramatic irony, a comedy of errors about two people so stubbornly in denial, Fate itself decides to step in.
- Language:
- English
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- 116,391
- Chapters:
- 14/14
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- 13
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- 1,814
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Bookmarked by kiwikrazed
03 Apr 2024