macabreflorence



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.” 

    Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”

    “I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.” 

    “Rozanov–” 

    “Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”

    OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic. 

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,370
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    355
    Kudos:
    10,922
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    2,301
    Hits:
    82,222

    14 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Hayden cuts himself off at the sound of something he hears so rarely, he’s almost sure he’s imagining it. He scans the room, looking for the source, and sure enough, his eyes land on his target. 

    There, nestled in between two of his teammates on the couch, is Shane Hollander. 

    Laughing. Out loud. Audibly. 

    Like, he’s actually fucking laughing, not the fake laughs he forces out to make other people more comfortable. In fact, he’s laughing so hard, he looks like he might cry, and Hayden would be delighted by the sight of it if he weren’t so fucking concerned. Shane Hollander doesn’t laugh at parties. Shane Hollander barely laughs when he’s actually happy, and he’s never happy at parties. So what gives? 

    Or:

    Shane Hollander accidentally gets very high. That's it, that's the fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,673
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    305
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    6,760
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    1,440
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    13 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Shane,” Hayden says, voice tight. 

    At once, the hairs on Shane’s arms stand to attention. He sits up, bracing himself for whatever’s happened now. 

    “What’s happening?” 

    “You’re getting married to Rose Landry.” 

    Shane chokes. “What?” 

    Or: news breaks that Shane Hollander is getting married to Hayden Pike, and then, improbably, to Rose Landry. The only problem? He isn’t. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,802
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    86
    Kudos:
    4,163
    Bookmarks:
    612
    Hits:
    24,628

    10 Jan 2026

  4. Rec *

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    MLH Tracker @MLHTracker
    rozanov81 (Ilya Rozanov) started following 3 and unfollowed 0:

    ✅ montrealmetros (The Montreal Metros)
    ✅ shanehollanderofficial (Shane Hollander)
    ✅ metrosworst (Worst Metros Plays)
    ⏎ 55 ⟳ 39 ♡ 732

    rozanov defender @gremlinroz
    ... alright who told ilya about the mlh tracker
    ⏎ 0 ⟳ 10 ♡ 63

    lea @rozanovsss
    getting ready for the game on thursday i see... masterful trolling
    ⏎ 5 ⟳ 1 ♡ 37

    The history of Hollanov, primarily as seen through the MLH Tracker on Twitter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    597
    Kudos:
    16,420
    Bookmarks:
    2,813
    Hits:
    63,060

    03 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov has a "tiny car accident" (his words). Shane Hollander has a full-scale, system-shutdown panic attack about it. Meanwhile, a horrified Hayden is praying for someone to throw him in a lake and tell him that this is all just a big joke, or maybe for a meteor strike; he is really not picky. J.J., on the other hand, is trying to bleach the image of his sweet captain making out with Ilya fucking Rozanov from his brain.

    It's a very normal day for the Montreal Canadiens.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,843
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    343
    Kudos:
    17,449
    Bookmarks:
    3,085
    Hits:
    111,990

    03 Jan 2026