minloser
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It’s been three weeks since the night Minho left Jisung standing alone in his too quiet apartment and Jisung still feels as empty as he did that very night. Maybe it’s the five stages of grief dragging itself out enough to make his life more of a hell than it already is, or maybe it’s because Jisung doesn’t actually know who he is anymore, so why should he know how he’d deal with feelings as strong as these ones? He finds himself wondering, whenever his apartment gets quiet enough for his thoughts to flood in, what he would’ve done in this situation before he met Minho. How does Han Jisung deal with grief?
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Hyunjin looks down at the younger boy and, without wasting a second, presses his lips against Jisung’s. This time, there’s no exciting sparks shooting through his veins or enough butterflies swirling around in his stomach to make him feel sick; instead, a fire starts in his heart, and he knows.
He’s in love with Jisung.
This is what happiness feels like.
or
Hyunjin finds his missing puzzle piece in the shape of Jisung, a boy who could outshine the sun.
Series
- Part 2 of atlas: space
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He can’t pinpoint where things went wrong and he can’t pinpoint when he stopped letting himself speak.
Hyunjin feels guilty. He’s doing his best to get better; previously bi-weekly therapy appointments changed into weekly ones and his therapist is helping him figure out ways to pick himself up from what feels like rock bottom, but it never feels like enough. Is he really getting better if he still wanted to down a handful of pills? Is he really doing his best? Hyunjin thinks that if he really is trying as hard as his therapist says he is, then he shouldn’t want to hold a blade to his thighs whenever he can’t get the clouds out of his head. A healing soul shouldn’t feel so shattered.
Time stops.
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All Hyunjin ever wanted was for someone to believe him. Minho just happens to be that someone.
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“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin says after a moment. He blinks away the tears and wipes the trails off with his pinky, but he doesn’t dare to look up. He doesn’t dare to make eye contact with Jisung because he knows that if he does, the guilt will eat him alive.
What kind of boyfriend was Hyunjin, really? What kind of person cries into their boyfriend’s arms over someone that broke their heart months ago? Before Jisung even came along? Hyunjin doesn’t deserve someone as kind as Jisung—not when he’s like this. But, as much as he knows he’s not worthy, he’s too selfish to let Jisung go.
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The ghosts of Hyunjin's past still haunt him, but Jisung has never been afraid of ghosts.
Series
- Part 1 of atlas: space
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Jeongguk has learned the hard way from the tender age of thirteen when his father pushed him down the stairs, that people are a disappointment. They always will be and so he breaks hearts instead.
Hurt people hurt people.
Jeongguk likes hurting girls, but he doesn't like hurting Kim Taehyung.
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Bookmarked by minloser
22 Mar 2023
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When Hyunjin finally gets invited into the best team on the server, he has quite a few expectations. What he doesn’t expect, however, is to fall for a guy with an insanely hot voice and embarrass himself right upon their first meeting – only to receive an intriguing message from him later.
(Alt: Hyunjin has a voice kink and accidentally reveals that to Seungmin instead of greeting him in their team’s voice chat. Seungmin is interested in exploring his body with someone who won’t judge him for it. What will come out of that?)
Series
- Part 1 of flirting with disaster
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His eyes trace the hairline cracks webbed on the faded ochre of the ceiling. The tiles of the bathroom, rounded at the edges and yellowing at the joining. The golden lighting bouncing off his body, his legs shimmering under the water. He feels tears brimming at the corner of his eyes, but no—he won’t cry.
He’ll treat this as any other day, just with a little more melancholy sprinkled throughout it. And then he’ll go to bed, and call him when he can’t sleep. He’ll tell him about the lady at the cafe who keeps changing orders halfway through, and he’ll revel in the sound of Seungmin’s laughter. And then he’ll fall asleep to the sound of Seungmin’s soft breaths. He’ll wake up next morning to a good morning text from him, a bed selfie and a picture of his cup of coffee attached.
He really, really misses him.